Ok, so I dont post much... mainly lurk, so let me give you an update...
H and I have been separated since Feb. 1,after H came home and declared he wasnt happy and just wasnt "in love" with me anymore. He is 46 diagnosed with Parkinsons Disease 4 years ago, I am 40, we have been married almost 23 years, 2 children, D20, S15. I really think he is having MLC on top of illness, possibly an EA, definitely not a PA.
At the end of March H came over to talk. He informed me that he was the happiest he had been in a long while. When I asked what had made him so happy, he said he couldnt say that it was any one thing, but mainly he liked being alone. He told me it was time to have separate checking accounts and he needed to get a place of his own (living with sister). He went on to say that while he was not asking me for a divorce, married was just not what he wanted to be at the time, and if I needed to file he would understand. He told me it was OK for me to "see" someone (oh, as a friend of course) and that he didnt want me to set around the house. Then he asked if I would stop S from coming to live with him if S wanted to (I thought he liked being alone). <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />
Sooo, after I made several visits to the MC and pastor (he refuses to go), I have recovered from this little "chat". He has done none of the things he told me (moved, checking account) <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> . He did ask S if he wanted to live with him and S said NO!
He came for dinner Easter, at which time he told me his so-called friends (the females who have been so eager to give him their advice on our marriage)are no longer talking to him because their significant others are jealous that they are talking so much. His best bud now has a girlfriend and doesnt have the time to go fishing every weekend with him anymore. SO , he is lonely. I told him then he could come home, BUT there had to be some help for us somewhere.. meaning counseling for him to deal with his illness and counseling for us to recover from this separation. He knows what I am talking about and says he doesnt want to come home unless things are right. I TOTALLY AGREE, I AM NOT GOING THROUGH THIS AGAIN! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />
So last night he came by the house, because he was in the neighborhood, and said we needed to talk again, but not then ... maybe the weekend.
So great, I tell him I dont want this to be hanging over my head until he decides to make time to come by again. He tells me it is nothing "bad", but we just havent "talked" in a while.
I emailed him today and he has agreed to talk tonight, since he's not too busy. I have had this sick feeling in my stomach all day! I hate this! I dont know what I am going to do if he says he wants to come home... I dont know what I am going to do if he says he's not coming home. Either way, my life is going to be turned upside down again!
I guess all I can do is pray for wisdom here, and be very careful in my words and reactions which ever way it goes.
Anybody else been here (or there, done that, have the t-shirt to prove it)???
