I didn't!!! And I am just a little miffed by that, I guess!! It took both x and I to bring these kids into the world. And now it is that I am providing for their daily care and needs. An acknowledgement would have been nice, a Thank you would have been approperiate. Nothing!! Doesn't really suprise me, though. What does piss me off is that he probably told her "Happy mothers day". She has never had children nor can she, she's not a mother!!! Oh I take that back she is a stepmother!! I can say that my kids didn't do anything for her this holiday, which is good as it would have destroyed me!!!

Kids did get me a gorgeous birthstone ring!! Which was quite a suprise!!

Fathers day will not go by without me acknowledging that he is the father of my children, for that he does deserve credit, acknowledgement and a thank you!!!

Just my 2 cents worth this evening!!!!

Dawn <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I got a rose plant. I assume he got his mother the same thing. He had the girls hand it to me.

In the past, I got a hanging basket because he'd get his mother one. He basically used it as an excuse to buy something he wanted, since plants are important to him - not to me.

Still, I was surprised.

Daybreak - I didn't get anything either - except extremely annoyed that he wouldn't let my ten year old spend her own money to buy me a mothers day card when they were at the store...So I am annoyed - but I told my kids - that not to worry - that if they wanted to buy there dad a fathers day card - that I had no problem with that... So I really was annoyed but I will not say anything to him...

Hi - last year I bought something nice for the kids to give her, but not this year. She had not reciprocated at Father's Day, but that's not the reason. My own Mom passed away in October, plus, last time I was in plan B, this time I have filed for divorce. We are not "friends" and we don't exchange birthday cards, Christmas cards, or anything else.

I think these two holidays are between children and parents. They made cards for her.

I got a hanging plant with a card. I went for a run in the morning and when I got home the plant was on the porch. My first thought was how insenitive to give me a plant without a card but he stuck the card in the plant. The card said what a good mother I was and how I taught the boys good values. My mother read the card and said she thought it was very nice and how true becuase I am a good mother.

My son read it and said he thought it was also true what his dad wrote and how much he loved me. I am only 2 1/2 months separated so my wounds are still very fresh. I also let the demons invade my mind and wondered did he get his oc mother anything? Doesn't matter really but still hurts.

LJ

My ex called and left a message for the kids saying "hi" and he said tell mommy happy mothers day. I am really happy about that. He pretty much has given me the impression that he hates me. I know he is just hurt and hopefully he will just work through that and someday we can be friends (not buddy/buddy hang-out together, but nice to each other when in a situation where we are together for the kids sake). I will do the same for him on fathers day - I don't want to push the friendship thing. I'm just taking it at his pace.

Daybreak,

I'm sorry that your X is such a jerk but, I can do you one better. Not only didn't my STBX not acknowledge me for mother's day but, he was seen out with the OW at a real nice restaurant with her kids. Now, that's what I call adding insult to injury <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

My kids were real good though they got me a bracelet with each of their birthstone. I was so happy, after all, it was Mother's Day so I guess as tmmx said "this holiday is between children and parents" so although my STBX didn't acknowledge me, my kids, who are the only ones who really count for me did. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Come Father's Day my kids can do whatever they want for their dad but, as for me, I have only one father so I'll take care of him, as for my STBX he can rot for all I care. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

I sent one from the kids to my EX. I had the children sign it themselves.....I didnt sign. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

I got 2 candles for $1 from the Dollar general from my x to be given from the boys to me. (the red $1 was still showing on the box). Funny, I think that was what I got last year, too, a $1.50 candle, and we weren't even separated.

I know, it's the thought that counts, but I think it wasn't much thought.

zip! zilch!zero! But then again we are talking about a man who never did give me anything for any occasion and his lame excuse was "he does not believe in celebrating these occasions" What I did receive though was far more fulfilling than what my soon to be ex could give. I am raising 4 beautiful children on my own and they show their appreciation with butterfly kisses, velcro hugs and "mom, you're the best". I couldn't ask for more!
shooting star

For the first time since I've been a mother, I did NOT receive a card from the IL's. However, I made sure that I had a card and gift from the boys to MIL (since they're so young, they wouldn't know to think of it on their own anyways).

Of course, I didn't receive a card from stbxH either... but even if he wanted to (which he hardly ever did before), he isn't allowed to, as his bail conditions prohibit any communication or association, either directly or indirectly with me.

Since those bail conditions aren't on ME, I have every intention of having the boys pick out a card and small gift for H for father's day in June. I just talked about it with a friend of mine (my original friend named Dawn actually... she's the one pregnant with twin girls, due any day now), and she agrees with me, to send something to H. And as the boys get older, I will not do the picking and sending in any way. I'll remind them that father's day is coming up, and I'll likely help them out financially to get something... but if they don't want to, then I won't make them either.

Dawn, if you do intend to send your H something, make sure it's for the right reasons. In my case, I'm doing it b/c the boys need to know that just b/c H and I are getting D'd, it doesn't mean that they can't partake in certain celebrations. Yes, a small part of me wants to do it more now, b/c his family did nothing... but that's not the original reason.

Karen

I got nothing. My stbxh Jethro, spent the day with his mistress and her child and my son. He did not bring my son home to me as I was promised he would do.

He changed the rules and said I could pick up son at certain times at his house when "all of them" would be playing outside together (to disrespect me publicly again) plus I was told by attorneys to not go over to his home as he broke into my residence last week and that he could pose a threat to me and son or cause yet another ugly incident.

so he spends it with the mistress and her illegitimate child (it isn't her child's fault and it is only the fault of the immoral mother). And takes Ms. Clampett (Jethro's mom) and the mistress out for dinner while I am at home. He even baits me with having son call and say "happy mommy's day and I miss you and wish you could have gotten me"). He is evil.

And said get this one...that mistress purchased for me a dozen roses for mother's day. Hmmmm. The mistress along with my wh, PILFERED OVER 100K OF OUR JOINT MONIES AND THE BEST THAT HO CAN DO IS BUYH ME A LOUSY DOZEN ROSES? Does she want me to say "what a nice mistress." Gee, if my h has to f someone, then why not this really nice (and very high maintenance gold digging) mistress. Maybe I should have driven over and brought for her a dozen roses too. Or maybe yet, I should have bought for her SOME BIRTH CONTROL PILLS.

I won't even let it get me down. I love my son and am spending a very nice weekend with him this weekend. We will have our Mother's Day and it's just a day on the calendar. I don't want ill-gotten gifts purchased so a good face can be painted onto the ugly face of adultery and home wrecking. It just won't work.

And she isn't a mother to my child. She is nothing. She is a sleeze and just the person who keeps the bed warm on the side I used to sleep in.

My son is what matters and I know he loves me.

I wish all here a very happy mother's day and to all bs' out there, we know our children love and cherish us for standing up for what is right and for our families.

Well wonders never cease!!!! x is to call on Sunday & Wednesday nights, doesn't seem to get it done very often again. So called and talked to YD tonight, I could hear her end of the conversation, he had asked about yesterday and what we had done and what they had gotten as a gift for me. That's ok!!!

YD yells for me to come take the phone, and the first thing that he says is "belated happy mothers day. I tried calling yesterday, but got no answer", we were gone all day!!! I am just shocked!! Could have knocked me over! Talked for awhile, like he didn't want to end conversation, has done this to me before and then drops a bomb at the end, so I am waiting, nothing. I did ask what he was giving for a gift for graduation said, "I am not going in on anything" Thought good didn't ask you to. Said that "we had a few things for her and will give her a little bit of cash" I said ok, just didn't want to duplicate anything. Still don't know if his W is coming and I will not ask!!!

Over all a very strange conversation, could hear the TV or something in the background, was all easy, and talkative and then would get all tense and like I was taking to much of his time, or that he had something more to say but wasn't sure how to say it, I don't know, just strange!!!

I got the garden planted tonight and more flowers out back!!! My house is going to be a giant bloom!!!!

Take care, it has been interesting to hear what everyone has had to say about x's and gifts, cards and such.

I will send a card for fathers day, and for the right reasons, he is their father and he gave them to me, for without him they would not be!! So for that I am thankful!!! I am also very thankful that he has been prompt on the child support, alimony and lawyers checks, he could of been a dead beat, but he hasn't been, and I know that it is costing him dearly!!! Not my problem I know!!

Dawn <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I will join the group of nothing. I got absolutely nothing from my x. Not even a happy mothers day. Nothing at all. But x-husband did tell me a few weeks ago, how I am not family, not anything to him. See he can use words of unthoughtfulness to express anger to me. I am to accept it his ballistic anger. Of course he will say it was all my fault.

The thing that hurt, but I am getting over it somewhat, was that I have 4 kids. And 1 only recognized me on mothers day. I have kids from 17-24 years of age. I realize they hate the divorce. They realize that dad was being used by a wicked woman. They realize that dad said a lot of disrespectful things. They know that we had issues to deal with, and I was not being a strong woman. And they know that I love dad, cause I told them so. For Fathers day, he will get a gift. I already bought it at a garage sale. And he will get a gift of homemade something from all of us. It is the caregiver in me, and I did get his mother something, and my mother something. Cause it was from my heart. Giving is part of being compassionate, and loving. Sorry he is neither to me. I have placed his heart in Gods hands.

These x's are in the fogggg.... and they have hurt many of us over and over. To do so little for the one that gave their heart and soul and body to this man. And received his sperm, and created wonderful children together. To leave this woman totally out of their life, is so hurtful. God does not accept these actions, and the divorce is not accepted either. But I have given my husband to God. He knows how to handle a callous heart.

We gave many hours to labor, to bring thsese little bodies into this world. We endured, for the most part, 9 months of sickness, body changes, hormone changes, and braxten hicks. Then the little one came into this world, and expressed their first cry of life. What a wonderful sound, to hear that cry, and to see our babies, and to finally hold our little ones in our arms. I remember all 4 of my children. I remember the joy, and the joy in my husbands eyes of the creation that came into the world. It was a wonderful experience. A wonderful high, of life.

If our x's can't remember us, and all the nights we were up with wee babies, or sick kids, I know that God loves me. I know that God gave me a very warm hug on Mothers day. My pastor had the men in our church Sunday stand up first. Then they had the boys stand up. Then they had the young woman in the church stand up that weren't mothers. And the rest of us were mothers. He expressed a short prayer, and applauded all of us mothers. If one of us was sitting next to another mom, we greeted each other. This was such a wonderful moment, to have Pastor Jim acknowledge us.

My pastors wife, came to me after church, to see if I was doing anything for Mothers day. I said no. Just getting things packed and cleaned, and downsizing. She hugged me and whispered in my ears a very emotionally message. And I thanked God for Pastors wife compassion and love.

Even though our husbands are not being thoughtful and kind. We can still show our love to our x-husbands, and let it be. Don't go eye for eye. What he does is his wishes. What we do is our wishes. I love my x-husband, but not who he is now. I love my x-husband the man I married. So the fathers day gift will be for that man, not who he is now.

Just a thought for those of you having a hard time dealing with x-husbands unthoughtfulness.

Nothing from him, except his presence (late, I might add) at breakfast that the kids took me to. No card, nothing. Luckily for me, D is old enough to take care of it for herself and her brother. H didnt even bother to ask D to make sure she had taken care of it or offer any $$$ to help her. I will do what ever the kids want me to do on Father's Day for them (not him), but I must say his actions are speaking very loudly to them right now.

Three years ago my husband had been gone 4 months. He took the girls shopping and got me two very nice gifts. Didn't call me or wish me happy mother's day in anyway.

Then 2 years ago, he called to wish me Happy Mothers day when he called to talk to the girls. He said the girls had made me things.

Last year, he wasn't working and didn't take the girls shopping but his mother had gifts for me when I visited her.

This year, he called Sat night saying he had tried to get ahold of us that morning because he was wanting to come and take the girls shopping for me. He told me he was very sorry he had waited to the last minute. It was too late to come after them then so he said he would take them Monaday night. He came to church Sunday and took me, our daughters, and one of my best friends out to eat. He went to see his mother after that and I took our daughters to see his mother also. He did take them shopping last night.

Things have really changed in the past three years. Prayer is powerful and I am so thankful for how much better things are going. We are still not divorced so he isn't my x. But three years ago he gave me the same old story about me not being a part of his family. God is good.

gentle

<small>[ May 13, 2003, 07:00 PM: Message edited by: gentle ]</small>

Well it doesn't surprise me. Again I didn't even get a Happy Mother's day. Nor do I get anything for birthday or christmas. It has been 3 years and in those 3 years we have not been together, he has done nothing. On the other hand I kill him with kindness. I let my son (5) get him something for every holiday including father's day. He is his father and always will be. I can't change that. I look at it this way. For those of us who involve our children to give and recieve on the holidays for the other parent when not together. We are instilling in them a wonderful value. Kindness and caring and giving. I do not look to receive anything. I would just wish a thank you or even a happy thought at this point. Which I do not have either.
What I do have is a loving son. Who everyday tells me he loves me. That is worth more then anything bought...
So to all you mother's Happy Mother's day (belated sorry)...
And to all the father's have happy thoughts..

This is the first year my H did not thank me for being a great mother. Never heard from him at all but I'm not his mother and our kids are grown so that is that.

But my boys came through with flying colors. On Sat,I received a beautiful bouquet of flowers from my S in Mississippi. Sunday my S and DIL came over with pizza and a gift. They bring me such joy and I love spending time with them.

Not sure how I feel about Father's Day and if I will send any kind of greetings. The thoughts here are great and make sense to acknowledge the parent for the child and I have done that but will have to think on this a bit.

TW

Since my x hooked up with his OW he would tell me that I am not his mother, therefore he did not have to acknowledge me on Mother's Day. He seems to forget I am the mother of his children. It would have been nice to at least get recognition for that! Nope! I have not heard anything from him this year, last year and so on. I did hear through the grapevine that he took his OW and her son out for dinner!

<small>[ May 14, 2003, 02:18 AM: Message edited by: betrayedbeyondbelief ]</small>

Oh, yeah! I got a nice one. My son called and asked me to pick him up from the bus station at 4AM! I asked if his dad could do it since I had to work that morning and x-hole didn't. He said he didn't know.

So, I called x and he started screaming 'why are you calling?' 'you don't need to call over here'. He is such a jerk.

See, I've been so nice...I think. I let him slide on CS for 4 years. Didn't ask him to insure dd as I have good insurance already. When they established cs, they asked if I wanted it to start 'now' or back order...I said now. He's such a sh*t, he makes turds look good.

When my son was stranded in New York a few weeks ago (supposedly a friend of x was to be hosting son) I asked x to call and find out what was going on. He said 'what do you want me to do about it?' Oh, I don't know, act like you give a crap about your kid 2,000 miles from home and on the street.

I used to care if my kids called him, were with him on Father's day, etc. No more.