Hi guys and girls.....I just wanted to tell everyone that everything is O.K. and I am doing fine.

Let me explain the last few weeks to you:

A few weeks ago I gave my testimomie at a sunday school function we had. There were about 70 people present and I just got real with them and told them about my affairs and how I lived with the guilt everyday. When it was over I invited anyone who had a burden on there heart that they needed to share to come forward and leave it with God. Myself and the singles minister had the privelage of praying with about 4 people.
As you guys know I have been struggling so much with guilt from my affairs but for some reason after that nite God gave me such a peace about it all. I can't explain it but it was like a big burden was lifted off my shoulders.

Then about a week after that I found out my "former" wife and her fiance bought a house together. When she did this I let go of a huge piece of her that I thought I could never do. Again I had a huge burden lifted off. I have been praying that whatever God has planned I would accept it but I would never move away from God no matter what happened.

I will continue praying for "former" wife but I have let go and let God have her.

I pray that God will bring someone else in my life that I can give my life to and that I can take the things that I have learned and apply them to me next relationship. I pray he will bring a christian lady into my life that wants to grow to know god like I do.

I just need to step away from the board for a while and catch my breathe. I will continue to pray ever wednsday for all of you. Everyone of you have meant so much to me and your prayers have been awesome. I truelly believe your prayers are what have brought me to this place of security and this place of serenity.


Love in Christ
cajunky

<small>[ May 12, 2003, 12:36 AM: Message edited by: cajunky ]</small>

Come back and visit us from time to time. You sound good in your post.

Caj,

Well my friend, I have lot's of things I'm thinking about but none I can put into words right now. You know how much your advice and prayers have meant to me. At least I hope you do. I really do think God has a marvelous plan for you. Many people will be blessed because of your faithfulness.

Please drop me an e-mail every now and then. And if your ever coming out to the Aloha State let me know.

I'm gonna miss seeing you here. You'll continue to be in my prayers. God bless you (I know He will)

Love in Christ

S&C <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

Cajunky,
I want to remind you that the Weekly Prayer group was only a part of what you've accomplished here at MB. When I first got here, you were giving (and receiving) advice on several different threads, just like we all do. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

That being said, I hope the reason you're giving a farewell speech is not because you are in "the valley of the shadow of death" regarding your marriage. No matter what turn that takes (and you're right, if God says let go of her, then do it) you can still use your experience and Godly wisdom to help a lot of people here on this site. There are those whose stories haven't played out yet, and others who have yet to post, to whom you could be an inspiration. I hope the breath you want to take doesn't last too long, because you still have a lot to contribute here.

cajunky,

I'm glad the burdens have begun to be lifted..

Things will work out for the best for you..as you are in God's hands..

Cajunky - what you did in church was testimony to all there of your past life. How God has worked in your life, you are a better person now, and you know you and God know you are a loving man. There were tears I am sure shed at church. And to have the pastor take and talk to those who wanted help after your testimony, again this was work of God.

Yes, what your wife is doing is wrong. She is leading a life of sin, and betrayal. Give her totally to God. Give your heart a turn in the direction of sharing Gods word, and having the church as your family. You did your best, and we all know that she is losing a very special man.

Good to hear the strong words, and the encouragement in your heart. God be with you. I am divorced also, it is final. And I have given my heart to the Lord, and Given my x-husband to the Lord. There is no one that can change either of us but the Lord. Therefore, I have moved beyond the tearing of the heart. My heart still hurts, but it is easier to get through the day, then before.

Prayers for you Cajunky. You have been an inspiration, and the prayer group you started for all of us. You have done so much here, to help, God Bless you, and your light will shine in each of us.

I have to say just because it's been said a couple of times here that C's ex-w is living a life of sin that C's ex-w was the BS multiple times in their marriage and she did not move on to a new relationship until after their D was either finished or well under way.

So while I can empathize with C's desire to try and restore his marriage after seeing the wrong he did to his ex, it is way off the mark to say C's ex-w is sinful and in the wrong, at least IMO.

Good luck Cajunky, it sounds as if you've come a long way and will be fine with the road ahead of you.

<small>[ May 12, 2003, 07:33 PM: Message edited by: Silent-Observer ]</small>

Silent,

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I have to say just because it's been said a couple of times here that C's ex-w is living a life of sin that C's ex-w was the BS multiple times in their marriage and she did not move on to a new relationship until after their D was either finished or well under way.

So while I can empathize with C's desire to try and restore his marriage after seeing the wrong he did to his ex, it is way off the mark to say C's ex-w is sinful and in the wrong, at least IMO.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">While I will not defend cajunky's past (and I doubt that he will either). The fact remains the his ex wife was a WS while they were married. He has worked long and hard to restore what he had a part in tearing apart. But that has little to do with the sin she is in. In my POV, she stopped trusting God to work in her life and continues to live a life apart form God. That is the most dangerous and sinful thing she is involved in at the moment. This is not the life God wants her to live. And anything that is against God's will is sin.

Silent, I do have a question or two for you. Why after being here since Feb. did you decide to quit obvserving and make your first post? And why did you choose this particular thread with this particular person? I only ask because I have a feeling about you. I can't put my finger on it, but you seem way to eager to put the full blame on Cajunky, none on his Ex, and to tell him that he will be better off without her.

If you'd like to talk about your story, I sure many would like to hear and there few places that are better to find healing, and I think it would be good for you to talk about it. If you want I'll start the thread for you. You have a journey ahead of you Silent. I pray you will remember that God is there with you.

Sorry, about high jacking your thread there Caj.

Bless you.

Love in Christ.

S&C

cajunky, You've been an inspiration to us all and I know your faith in God will continue to take you to places better than you've ever dreamed of.

I also worked long and hard at restoring my marriage (though I'm the BS, not the WS), as so many of us have. I think for so many of us who've prayed that our WS's would turn around like you have, it's hard for us to see your wife's refusal to reconcile. But, we haven't walked in her shoes.

I believe God provides us infinite paths to reach him, there is not just one right way, IMHO. None of us is in a position to judge your ex. You certainly haven't judged her!

I know for me, letting go of my STBXH was a long, painful process. But I know now it was right, it was where God was leading me. My H was an abusive, unfaithful alcoholic/addict. My attempts to save the marriage were partly out of fear based on my severly low self-esteem after enduring years of being demeaned and mistreated.

I don't believe in divorce, but I am such a stronger, happier, and more self-assured person now that it's been a year since I've been subjected to any abuse. I know this wasn't really the issue in your marriage, but look how much you've grown because of your experience.

I know we all wished that we could've grown and then been "rewarded" with marriage restoration, but that's our ego's talking, not God. Please check in from time to time to let us know how things are going.

Cajunky,

First things first: "The Lord bless you and keep you. The Lord make his face shine upon you and be gracious unto you. The Lord lift up his countenance upon you and give you PEACE."

You have added a lot to this forum, and we will be lessor because you are not here. I pray that the Lord continue to move in your life and that you find the serenity that is promised.

Next: for Silent-Observer, just to clarify a few facts, Mrs. Cajunky was a WS, then Cajunky was a multiple WS, blah blah blah. I don't think that's really the issue here. I doubt if ANYONE here could say that they judge her...after all the pain of being the wife of an SA is EXTREMELY intense (speaking from experience). And you are pretty correct to point out that this Mrs. Cajunky did, for the most part, have the decency to wait until the divorce was final.

No, I think the issue here is more likely that she is hardening her heart and not allowing the opportunity to even try to reconcile. Oh, it's understandable! But as someone in her shoes, I can say one thing: I believe with all my heart that a marriage is for life.

It is her privilege to have the free will to make the choice to harden her heart. If she so chooses, then so be it. I doubt if anyone would blame her for not being able to recover. Trust me when I say, it's conceivable she was just hurt TOO MUCH.

CJ

<small>[ May 13, 2003, 12:34 AM: Message edited by: FaithfulWife ]</small>

Oh boy! Almost 3 years on this forum, and I STILL double post! I love me!

CJ

<small>[ May 13, 2003, 12:32 AM: Message edited by: FaithfulWife ]</small>

Brother Caj,

I don't even know what to say.

My heart is aching for you, and I am sad that you won't be around here to keep US strong.

We will continue to pray for God's best for you....for God to continue to bless you, and keep you close to Him.

As I know you are close to Him, and speak with Him often as you walk your walk through this "journey" - I don't really know what else is left to say.

We are saddened, and will feel the loss of your company around here every day. Please stay in touch, and give us lessons from your hard-earned wisdom from time to time....please?

May God Bless you real good! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />