He's GOT to be on something!

He was great over the weekend. Great Monday, and then Tuesday he starts back to school and Tuesday night he acts bazaar (that's the best word I could think of).

I tested him with a 8 drug home test and it came up negative, but I am convinced he's on something.

Tomorrow I am going to call the doctor to find out how accurate these test are and if I can bring him up randomly to do blood test.

I am so sad about all this.

Another sad part is, I don't like him when he's like this, I just can't stand to be around him, it's like he's not the son I know. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

Oh btw, as most know he got put in an alternative school for taking a pill at school. There was a police investigation pending. Today they came to his school and gave him a citation for intoxiation of a substance other than alcohol, he and I have to appear before a judge soon. The girl that gave it to him was arrested and booked today for distributing an illegal drug. She faces felony charges and must appear in a federal court.

I feel like I am in a bad nightmare and just keep picturing him as a toddler....my smart little boy that was always so well mannered and behaved.

ANNA <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

I've got older kids and have run through all this kind of crud. Firstly...{{{{major hugs}}}}. Here in Canada they have a parental support group to help parents deal with out of control teens. Although I didn't have custody of the out of control one, I still had to deal with him when I have him. What he does when he's with me is worse than his father because I supposidly *don't care* or *left because of _____* <--- insert the best word of the week. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> The program worked with a book called: How to deal with your Acting-Up Teenager (by Robert T. Bayard). Believe me, it gave me some incredible support, saving my sanity, my families sanity and helping to wade through many issues step by step.

I cried myself to sleep many a night thinking about my *little boy*..the one who was so gentle and kind and was replaced with this *other monster* child. It was like I was living a bad dream. Counselling may not be an option for him because he may not want to go. (my ex told our son, " there is nothing WRONG with you, so you don't have to go")

Many times the lessons here are not for us, but for our children. Yes we know better and we don't want our kids to have to suffer the consequences of their actions, but sometimes you have to let them. Is it difficult? You bet it is. Forgive me, but your post sounds like you are working on *him*. By all means go to the doctor and gather whatever information you have, but you have already given your son the message that you don't trust him. The drug test came out negative, but you are convinced something is up. This is HIS life, not yours. Believe me, what you believe about your kid WILL come true. Set boundaries with him. NO DRUGS WHILE YOU ARE LIVING WITH ME. Tell him that when he's not sociable, you will NOT be around him. Get the problem into perspective.

Sorry if I sound harsh, because that is NOT my intention. I think as parents we love our kids so much that we are willing to do eanything except let our kids face up to the responsibilities of the choices they make, including expulsion from school or as severe as jail. Yes, we love them, but sometimes we have to love them enough even though we can see the path they are headed to.

I don't know what brand yours is but the drug screen is the same one that is used at the labs. They use the screen(stick), and if it tests positive, they do further testing (GC analysis, etc.).

There are some that are DOT approved.

Pretty accurate if done right. You just have to get one that will cover the type of drug he is using.

I had a friend offer me LSD in high school once. I didn't take it.

I had many friends offer all kinds of alcohol to me. I never drank it.

I had a crush on a girl named Emily... and one day just as I was working up courage to ask her out... I saw her making out with another guy. It crushed me for WEEKS.

Maybe he misses his friends and all of this is making him feel like he's causing trouble to everyone he knows.

Elan, Thank you and I can really relate to what you said. I am going this weekend to find the book.

Becontent and Lyxa,

Thanks for your comments.

I am taking him to the Doctor for a surprise drug test on Saturday. If he's not on dope then the other night he just totally lost it for a while. He was doing things that were not like him at all. It reminded me of nights my ex came home drunk. I am sure you guys know what's it is like to have someone drunk when you are sober, you just want to get away from them.

He is learning more and more ways at this school to hide drugs. He tells me girls put it in their bra lining. Kids bring pot by sealing it in a ziplock, taping it and then soaking it in a bottle of perfume, then when the dogs check their locker, they don't pick up on the scent. They go to the bathroom, put the dope in a toilet or under and leave it for the next person. They take 6 tablets of some kind of pills called "Something" Gold (can't remember the first name) which you buy at a health food store or a novelty type store or drink pickle juice and vinegar, these things clear out your urine.

I'm so sad about all this. I do know his actions if continued will lead to living with his dad eventually because I just won't have a kid doing drugs in the house.

I am trying to get him in to counseling and also talked to his counselor at school who will counsel him to a point but there is very few days of school left...I think that's a good thing though.

ANNA

Anna...

If you can't find the book this weekend, tell me and I will express post a copy to you.

It's a good thing that he's telling you about the drugs and where it's *hidden* and the like. He's open enough to tell you that, which makes me believe he's open enough to tell you more. I would suggest that after the drug testing though you sit down with him and have a heart to heart (if he'll even listen, because he'll be very upset that you don't trust him). Kids are funny. They want to be all grown up, but their behaviour is anything but. They want you to trust and respect them, but their behaviour is anything but. (the book will help you through a lot of the garbage that teens put you through).

Teens, especially boys (I've had both, and my friends agree her) -- boys are very moody. They can swing on a dime, one minute being affectionate and the next so sullen and moody that you think the world has fallen apart. Teens are a different breed all together -- but nonetheless, they are ours. It's learning how to live through those years that's the hardest.

((((hugs))))

Anna, go with your instincts and watch your son close, kids are very good at hiding drug use, there is a lot of information out there that allows kids to beat the drug tests. I found out that my step son was using for sure by taping my phone. they sell a voice activated recorder at Radio shack that plugs directly into a phone line and uses cassette tapes. my son did all his best talking after school, so i made sure I had a fresh tape in for that time. i hated to snoop, but as a parent you need to know what your kids are into to make better parenting decisions. if your tapes prove your suspisions dont let on that your taping him, he will never talk on your phone again,and you lose a valuable tool in keeping him straight. If your son has a cell phone, take it away or disable it some how so he has to use the land line. good luck.

Anna:

The remedies to clear the drugs out of your system do not work (especially pot). The best way to beat a test is to carry some clean urine (from a friend) into the restroom with you and put it in the container. They carry it in a condom put around their privates so the temp. is fairly close to where it should be. I know this way works. Even with the monitor standing in the vicinity. If they stay at their back, they can pull it off.

I have a brother who is a drug addict (not using at the moment), but he spent $75.00 one time at the health food store for something that was guaranteed a negative test, and he failed the test. He also used the "goldenrod" or "goldenseal" that came from the health food store and it did not work.

My kids are 20 and 21 now, and I still keep the Rapid Drug Quick Screen on hand. Where I buy them from (online), you have to buy 10 kits but the price is as good as some web-sites single kits.

2 drug stick is $6.50
5 drug stick is $15.00
1 drug stick is $5.00
Alcohol Breath $4.00
Alcohol Saliva $6.00

The also have an adulteration kit for $1.20 per test that will tell you if the urine has been adulterated at all.

Could it be that he is drinking. They have some fancy ways of hiding the smell.

I have the two stick panel (marijuana and cocaine) and would be willing to send you a couple if you determine either of these is his drug. Marijuana and drinking is the big thing (at least around here) with the young.

Anna and Be Content,

Sometimes the remedies to clean your urine do work. My ex was a very heavy pot smoker. Smoked just about every day. When he would go to a new job site (construction), he would have to be drug tested. He drank vinegar and lots of water once, it worked. He also used goldenseal...it worked. And one time he got a white powder from a friend of his (not sure what it was). You put it into the specimen cup and then urinate on it...it worked. He NEVER failed a drug test.

Mitzi <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Elan,

Thanks so much, I appreciate that and will let you know.

Becontinent,

Yep, this was a pretty accurate test, however if the urine is messed with it could make the drugs not show up.

These kids are just too sneaky and coniving!

My son admitted he had been smoking cigerettes but stopped because of track. I asked him why did he complain so much about me smelling like smoke (My recently ex-boss and co-worker smoked and I came home smelling like it). He said, "To throw you off track so I'd say, 'Even I smell like smoke'." I felt so bad that it bothered him. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> It was on my list of reasons to quit my job.

AND....Isn't that along the same lines a cheater uses...Even accusing the innocent person of cheating to throw them off track!

41,

Thanks for the advice. I am going to try to get a tape recorder this weekend as well. I believe parents have every right to snoop and if the parents that killed all the Cullenbine Highschool students would have taken that stance, the tragedy may not have happened.

Lyxa,

I can't believe you said Emily...My son't first major crush! hehe..And I really believe he got his heart broken recently but not by Emily by another girl. He says he didn't but letters (during a snoop) and other friends telling me, says different.

The biggest thing in this school is Adderall(sp? too tired to spell check) It is the easiest to get because so many kids are on it for ADHD.

Mitzi,

Your right, sometimes they do work. The doctor said when I bring him in tomorrow, not to let him know where we are going until we are on our way because he could drink "pickle juice and vinegar" and it might mask it."

I don't get how the hospital's test was inaccurate. My son took the urine test, it came back negative for amphetimenes which is adderall but positive for the anti-depressant which was really an anti-psychotic. The doctor said "Well your son hasn't done adderall in probably 20 days." After the doctor left my son said, "Mom, I did adderall two days ago, and before that I did it every day for about a month..." Yet it didn't turn up on the urine test!

night ya'll,

ANNA