I know I tried to save my marriage - but I also know I could have been better than I was. My h left on Wednesday and I don't even want to show my face in the town where I live. I have had my son get my coffee from the local convenience store - my h was the one who wanted this - he is the one that had the e/a and still works with ow - why is it that I feel like the one that is wrong. I hate this. Any suggestions on how I can get past the feeling?
TTHO

<small>[ May 16, 2003, 11:08 AM: Message edited by: T. T. H. O. ]</small>

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by T. T. H. O.:
<strong>Any suggestions on how I can get past the feeling?
TTHO</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Yes, replace it with something else. The best remedy for your situation is to go out and do something that helps someone else. Re-prioritize the things in your life and make something else meaningful more important. Your are wrongly carrying false guilt. You did your best? Good, keep moving forward. What about what other people think? Who cares. You are not the first person this has happened to. Their opinion does not matter.

TTHO,

I felt very much the same way when my WH's A first started. Then, I found out that our entire circle of friends (and it was a big circle because we all went to the same pub)knew about the A and were angry at WH for the way he was treating me. Now, with the exception of 1 couple, no one in our former circle of friends wants anything to do with him. His best friend refuses to speak to him. Yet, they all are willing to talk to me and are quite nice to me when they see me. In fact, the feel sorry for me.

As I learned, no one is looking at you askance - they are looking at him and wondering what the heck is wrong with HIM. Hold your head proud - you deserve to.

BB

Brit's Brat & Okieman,
Thanks for the replies. I know that I'm not the lst person that this has happened to but it is the lst time it's happened to me. I hate this feeling.

This is very new - my family has been very supportive - I haven't gone into a lot of detail with them but I know it will come out sooner or later. The town I live in is so small - less than 1000 people - that news travels so fast and gets so messed up that it just bothers me to even see people. I'm sure this will pass in time and I know that I didn't cause this but it still embarrasses me.
TTHO

Remember that it IS just a feeling. It will pass in time. Hold yourself up proud, is good advice, and eventually you will feel proud. Nobody EVER knew what other people are thinking and forget that because it just plain does not matter what other people think. What other people think is a cliche and nothing in a cliche is worth running your own important life by. Your life is important. You have your children and your friends and your job. Buy yourself a nice puppy to replace your fogged up husband. Let the dog have his favorite chair.

People, (your friends and family) will be proud of you for stepping out and up, and making your best effort at being cheerful. Put the sad emotion on the backburner as much as you can and climbup into a new better life.

It is hard and there are a lot that have to go through this type of deal. Make the best of it that you can. God Bless.