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Joined: May 2003
Posts: 3
D
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Joined: May 2003
Posts: 3
I thought every thing was fine until last Thursday.
My wife left me after almost 15 yrs of marriage and 3 children . The only reason I got was that she was tired of living a lie and that she didn't love me . However i can't believe after all this time together this is true or is it ?
I try to talk to her but she don't want to. When i ask to talk she says there is nothing to to talk about or we will talk about it later.
Should wait until she is ready ?
I talked to her mom (that is where she moved to) and she said she will not talk to her either. Her mom says the reason she avoids me is because she still loves me but she has not said that.
When i ask lets talk all she says is that is all I'll do is to try and talk her back home. However I do want her but not until she is ready.
The one good thing about this is that I am growing closer to God and pray more.

Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 852
L
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Posts: 852
Well its sounds to me like you have a Walk-Away Wife.She may also be in the midst of a serious mid-life crisis. Pursuing her alot is not a good strategy at this point. If I were you I'd get a copy of the book 'Divorce Remedy' right away for some good strategy ideas. The author of that book also has a web site divorcebusting.com and there is a support message board on there for men in this situation. You might want to check it out. I know there will be good advice for you on this board too!Take care- lifeismessy

Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 3,912
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Posts: 3,912
Darwud,

In situations like this, there is a good chance she's having an affair.

The second most common cause is that you haven't been meeting her needs - or have been "Love Busting" her.

Click on the "concepts" link (in the grey line just under the logo at the top of the page) and read all about it.

Tell us more about your situation.

-AD

Joined: Jan 1999
Posts: 655
S
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Joined: Jan 1999
Posts: 655
exactly what does she mean by living a lie? that is something my husband told me in 1996 we never divorced we were legally separated and he died in Sept02 and now I will never know what that meant??
he said he was living a lie. that he told me what I wanted to hear. He didn't want to hurt me anymore. left..but he still lived the crazy making lifestyle. Big flirt, drugs etc..
I didn't get it. I guess..shrug.
I love him always have just could stand the behaviour immature stuff..
anyway I am alone now and still wonder at times looking for clues still.
although I find love notes once in awhile from him that he must of done just before he left knowing in the end someday I would come across them not in things I would normally look in.
I needed to separate from him many years ago.
then if I had kept my boundries up and not keep moving it..maybe we would of been ok..
but then when I think he WAS narcissic that would not have happened..he was what he was..sadly to say. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

I will pray for you both. I hope things work out for you both. God bless you.
if you can get Praise 106.5 radio on the net listen to it..has great music and teaching in the morning they do stuff about marriage...
I will b e watching for how your doing.
Praying helps alot and God will hear your prayers. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />
EarthAngel

Joined: May 2003
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Joined: May 2003
Posts: 3
Sadeyes
Thank you for your prayers. She is woman of God and that is what confusses me. She said the lie was that she love me but she didn't. But however we did have some problems with our church and we got out of it . The pastor's wife hurt her fealings really bad . I keep praying about us and God has revealed alot to me the last couple of days .

Joined: Jan 1999
Posts: 655
S
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Joined: Jan 1999
Posts: 655
Hi
I was wondering how you are doing and if things are going any better for you now?
let me know ok..if you read this you can e-mail me and let me know.

what you said to me, I am wondering if maybe that was true what your wife said to you. I use to think that he didn't love me but you know sometimes I think there were times he did not..and then times he did..does that make sense to you?
it was a childish kind of love, he believed he could only care for one person at a time thing..
he got upset when I had animals, like I would give the love I had for him to the animals.
he sorta made that remark when I told him I wanted another child we had 3 snf he mentioned that I would not love him as much...of course that wasn't true. but he was a very demanding
person, wanted all the attention from everyone.
He said one time..I loved him too much before he died..so he also contradicted himself or found out that what I said was true..I did love him and I love him even today.
I have got to put it all behind me as it makes me work into a depression and I don't need that..
thanks for your answer..it helped. I also find notes in books telling me he loves me..it was the showing me..that was hard, he was not emotional the one emotion he was good at was anger <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />
he also was the type when he was good he was very very good and when he was bad he was rotton..lol.true.. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

thanks again..Keep on Keeping on.. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />
earthangel@telcomplus.net


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