I'm not at this stage yet, but I am curious... can one spouse make a divorce happen? I know a spouse can move out, and leave... and file. But if the other one says no, I want to make it work... can they end up divorced anyway? There are no abuse issues, or anything for "grounds", it would have to be one of the "incompatibility" ones.

Thanks for any input.

Depends on the state.

A divorce can usually be pushed through, even without "agreement" by the other spouse. It may take longer and cost LOTS more, but usually it can be done.

Daer All:

If anyone wants an easy divorce, come to Finland. The procedure is very simple indeed.

One spouse only needs to:

1. Visit the town registrar, sign a form.
2. Wait six months
3. Visit the town registrar, sign a form.

It`s over.

Simple, yes, but I can tell you that it is still very painful!!

Standing in Finland

Yes, the divorce can be final, without both spouses being there. Check into the state laws, and you will find out how to do it in your state. Or what you can do to help your marriage work.

thanks, all. I am determined to do my best to make this work, but H shows clear resistance. I just wondered whether it would be possible for him to divorce me anyway. I don't think things will come to that, but I try not to exist in a state of denial that leaves me unprepared for things that I "might" have to deal with.

I happen to live in the state of Colorado. Out here in the wild west, ALL divorces are no fault, so it makes no difference if there are grounds or not, and "abandonment" is not an issue except as a consideration of what is in the best interests of the children. Thus, a spouse can cheat over and over again, deplete marital assets, abandon their children, file for divorce--and the only grounds are "irreconcilable differences." Period.

If a spouse in Colorado files for divorce, it makes no difference if the other spouse "wants to work it out" except that the judge/magistrate might order ONE attempt at mediation. After that, the only tactic to DELAY (not stop) the divorce is to contest different parts of the Separation Agreement or Parenting Plan--but that just breeds ill-will where enough ill-will already exists.

In summary, for the most part, one spouse CAN get a divorce without agreement in Colorado. Disagreeing basically just delays the inevitable.

CJ