Ok. Watched during this long weekend of sickness (but hey I am getting incredibly better and was asked to go to Jazz Fest with one of my girlfriends...actually she's my paralegal and a recent law school grad. It's hilarious. Me and my paralegal going out as single gals and we've actually been hit on by guys. When guys ask if we're friends, she says, "I'm here paralegal for her divorce." It's hilarious. And we are usually having martinis.)

But anyway after that aside, I watched this documentary on Sex. Peaked my curiosity as I am as celibate as Mother Teresa right now and the founding member of "The Convent of the Celibate Sisterhood".

The show says that the "In Love" feeling is just a hormonally driven thing. That over time it wanes. Hmmmm. Kinda like the fog. Anyway they said that to recreate this feeling, to elicit the needed "spark" to drive a passion filled relationship, one needed an endorphin or adrenaline release with that other person.

They gave examples. Like if you really like someone, take them to the amusement park and ride the rollercoaster. Take them skydiving or scuba diving. Take them to a scary movie. Something that will afford that release of hormone.

And get this...OUR BRAINS MISTAKE THIS CHEMICAL SIGNAL FOR LOVE AND LUST.

Ever see a hot guy with an ugly girl or vice versa? Maybe it's the STUPID BRAIN SYNDROME. As I call it. Now we've unlocked the secret of the foggy brain.

We've done it! Maybe some of you wishing reconciliation with a somewhat friendly x can now do this: Hey babe. What do you say we go for a drive through the mountains (very curvy road and drive really fast) and then repel off the side of a cliff? She will fall for you. You will SEEM like James Bond. Or girls, maybe we can say to a cute guy, wanna go ride that 200 foot parachute drop at Six Flags. You plunge straight down at 70 mph. And after that you can take me to Atlanta Motor Speedway. He will fall in love..

And I think of this concept in reverse. Did this stupid brain syndrome have to do with our X's affairs? Well....Jethro is a gambler. The adrenaline rush of the game of blackjack combined with a little drinkiepoo here and there and more drinkiepoos may help out. And the going out to nightclubs and dancing can cause an endorphin release.

Personally I want to experience a few endorphins of my own:
1)go to Costa Rica and hire somebody to fly over Lake Arenal Volcanic area and dump (copies of course and a few photos)my divorce papers and everything Jethro into the volcano. Hey he's on the highway to hell anyway just thought I'd send Satan his photo to help him get a better look at who he's got a hold of. Formerly Confused are you reading this?
2)Diving in ultra clear fifty feet of water in carribbean.
3)Shopping. Not just shopping. But me actually being able to spend more than 300 and getting some designer clothes again. My hand is shaking right now thinking of the cool adrenaline release when I hand my card to the cashier in the chic little boutique and buy that unmentionalbe from victoria's secret for no apparent reason other to say that "I need it".
4)Buying myself a spa day package. And saying to Jethro, "I would love to help you out with that but I am having a spa day and everything, with the exception of our son whom I put first, is ALL ABOUT ME NOW AND YOU WILL HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL I AM DONE WITH MY MAKEOVER AND TREATMENTS."
AND FINALLY

5)Just having someone soon take me to the scary movie, drive the windey road, ride the thrill ride (not the rollercoaster we talk about here mind you)and getting that one kiss after the adrenaline hits.

________________________________________________

Poll:

Do you think your X experienced the "Stupid Brain Syndrome" in relation to the Affair?

I wish mine had... I saw that show too. My x was on her 3rd month of fertility treatments to make her hyperfertile. One day, the OM took her in his arms and asked her what they were going to do about "us". They kissed. They started having sex. No adrenalin rush. Because of the fertility treatments, we were not being intimate for all of that time. Maybe she was horney.

Lyxa...I have a funny one and an add on to the Stupid Brain Syndrome Poll.

About two months before I threw him out, I found in the hummer some little pills. Now Jethro forgets that I am a medical professional and can in a number of ways if I don't immediately know or able to recognize what a pill is...The little pills were VIAGRA. He never had problems getting anything well working...But he had just come back from Miami and a "business trip" with his also wife cheating on business partner whom I refer to as "Tony Soprano". He said they he and Tony were just trying to see how long they could well...stay....happy...

Now I know that they got the viagra from Monkeyho b/c she was a drug rep.

Guess the viagra and hyperfertility tx really makes them feel the adrenaline rush. Or something like that...

Ok. We want to know if the foggy ones did something to help that adrenaline rush and "create" the stupidity we know as an affair. We want to know if your x's did something stoopit to "convince their brains they were in luv".

Hey Peachy,

Yes, I read this. And was trying to figure out exactly when to book the flight. Problem is, I am a bit worried about dropping pictures into the volcano. I am not sure that Satan deserves to be punished for that long. I mean, he will be getting the real thing soon enough. Why torment him with knowing just what he has to look forward to before he really has to deal with her... Heh heh heh..... that actually felt kind of good writing that. It definitely goes against my grain, but you know what... So does she...

Maybe the excitement of "forbidden romance" was what spurred xW and OM on.

At this point, I no longer care...I'm moving on. I realize that she just wasn't one that I should have married in the first place. To many issues to deal with.

Live and learn, and now it's more of a concern of mine to put new social circles together and move on.

Interesting thread. A quick FWS comment here.....

I went skiing with OM a couple of times, just for the day, no overnight stuff. We had SO much fun, more fun than I'd had in weeks, or maybe months. We had tried to get my H to come, but he couldn't be bothered to get up that early. It was just a few weeks after these two ski days that OM and I slept together. So maybe there is something to endorphins or adrenaline release confusing one's hormones into thinking there's something more than just some fun skiing (or whatever the chosen recreation is) going on.

But, I sure am not blaming the skiing for me having sex with OM and ruining my marriage. I blame that on taking my H for granted, my stupidity and lack of moral conscience combined with copious amounts of alcohol.

JB

Well, my ex dated her boss while we were still married and got engaged to him while he was still married and this after 4 weeks.. We lived in Alaska, it was cold as crap and not too much to do in exciting things up there at that time of year other than to watch the moose walk around in the woods...
So, I dunno - perhaps when the ole STOOPIT Syndrome hits, then to that person, everything makes perfect sense (I call it 'Legend In Their Own Mind' Bull$hit)
So to continue this - dig this - she comes to me a few weeks later, says she's formally engaged and asks me if I would come to their wedding. I told them I would and wished them well - I was stil married and her fiance was still married.. Whatever, go figure.
And...
Now
for
the
rest
of
the
story... as Paul Harvey would say:
We divorced in June.
He divorced in October.
They got married exactly 31 days later.
I wish them the best - because they're gonna need it!
Just another soap opera as far as I'm concerned...
Heheheheheheeee.
Harold

Peachy, you are sounding awfully healthy this morning. It seems like getting out has done you a world of good.
I like to hear the good tones.

I wish I'd seen this.
My STBXHJ has a high threshold for pleasure.
This is what the counselor said.
I'm very active but could never keep up.
This explains a lot to me.
It's very child like isn't it?

Aly

I did a bit of thinking on this issue while shopping for groceries @ walmart. What a cerebral place huh?

Anyway, my stbxh definitely has the lust for high's. From driving fast, to selling investments (kinda risky) to gambling and lying and adultery. He is an endorphin junkie. He can't stand life when it is calm. Like when you settle into married life. It's quiet. Should be the good times. But if there's not challenge, no rush, no emotional high, then it's not interesting to him. So he will search for one. He is the king of chaos. That's my interpretation of my life after seeing the show. Life doesn't feed their neurotransmitters enough so they seek pleasure elsewhere and however they can get it.

so unless Ms. Family Values lets him go gambling every other weekend, or drive really fast with her 2 year old in the car, or do something illegal he will grow tired of her too.

His only hope imho, is that after this divorce (his second) he will see that it's too damn hard to do--divorcing that is. And maybe he will be ordered into some kind of therapy after the burglary thing goes to trial. We are going to suggest to judge something about this when asked. Or what the heck, we'll state our opinion. I don't have hope of reconciliation whatsoever. So don't think so.

Tonight one of my buddies called me. She honestly believes that my best chance for my son is for me to keep being the strong woman I am and pray that soon, one day God will bring into our lives a good man that will not be his biological father, but someone who will accept him just as if he was and be the male role model in his life. Until that day, he's got his uncle one state away--a great uncle, friend, relative and doc. He called today my bro in law, and asked to speak to my son. I told him he's still with Jethro and he said "damn. I miss the little guy."

So I guess someting to think about is 1)keep the adrenaline/endorphin theory in mind when we begin to date. 2)if the person is into extreme sports or risky stuff, find out about their past or 3)take them to see your IC and get their opinion.

I am not going to get into any Mr. Excitement's in my future. I've had too damn much excitemment in my life. But I will not give up scuba or salsa/latin dancing whatsoever!

Well!! I'll be! That neuro stuff is slicker than greased lightnin! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" /> Now I know why he walked out on us after ten years.. We quit racin' snowmobiles last year!
lol! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />