I have been married for 13 yrs. My wife lied to me about the number of lovers in her past, recently I found out about the lie, and it was a very big disappointment. I feel as though I really hadn't known who I have been living with all of these years.I have tried to talk to her about it and she will not tell me about why she lied or what the truth about her is. I only know enough to get my imagination going wild, I am a firm believer in being honest to your spouse I also know to keep her secrets it has meant creating more lies. I may not like the truth but I know i can't stand to be lied to by my wife. It makes it so i can't feel the closeness and trust i want in our marriage. There has always been a feeling of distance and i contribute a lot of this to her lies. I love her very much but i can't just go on wondering what she has deemed to be something she should lie about or be honest about. I need to get her to open up to me but she says she doesn't feel that she can trust me with this information.What do i do?<BR>h

I read your post my spouse and I had this talk at the start of our marriage about this and I didn't want to who he had been with and he the same.Reason being I didn't know him then and what he did back in the day does not revolve around how he treats me now or how I feel about him now.His past is just that his past.And i'd raither not know about how many people he was with or what he did.I love him now and he's with me that's all that matters.Maby you should have just not asked about her past especially when all you got was a lie now your questioning her honesty.Would you have felt better if she would have been honest with you and told you how many she had really been with?Probley not see with I mean?

Yes i do see what you mean. i've got a feeling your experiences were not as vast as my wifes, i truely believe it has cause her some emotional distress. i will love her no matter what.<BR>h<BR>

of course i don't want to over look the fact that i could just suck as a husband.<BR>h