I'm saying goodbye to marriage builders.
After posting almost daily from January 24th until
1 month ago. (also under name robertc/robert4)
I tried but my wife was already in plan d (done).
Turns out, she wasn't happy, ( that I knew ), plus
she was seeing other man from her work ( didn't
know that ).
She filed r/o against me taking kids, house, pretty much has tried to ruin me.
I was posting on marriage builders for support, she even turned that against me.
Well 4 months later and pretty much no contact with her ( or else I would be arrested, which happened )
While she has had everything go her way, new man, kids, .. I have had to resign from my job, in process of trying to stay out of jail with the court system, mountain of paper work from attorney.
2 months ago, I would have done anything to save my marriage.............not now..............
how and why would I want to put myself in that position again............how just because "SHE"
wasn't happy, and just because "SHE" was seeing somebody else all along, and how she could literally try and destroy me....want her back....
NO THANK YOU.....
I know how MB is supposed to work, but when 1 person you have been with for over 16 years is trying to crush you it is not going to help.
My only want is my kids, who she continues to control as a pawn,
she doesn't want me to go to their dance recital,
because I might "STARE' at her, and make her feel uncomfortable, ( the dance classes is me and my daughters that I, and I alone have taken them to for 7 years )
The only thing that is going to make her uncomfortable, is the GUILT she is living with.
And if she doesn't feel guilty, .....well then I guess I am giving her much too respect for her abilty to be human.
So why I have to sit at home, she will be taking my daughters to their dance recital.

I just hope she and FNG ( @%*!*$# NEW GUY ) have a good time.

Me I'm doing great emotionally, great mood, really happy, best shape of my life, and I was in good shape before 4 months ago I weighed 218, now I weigh 186, at 6'2" that is not bad.
Can run and bike like their is no tommorow, so goodbye all and good luck, you have been very supportive, with much needed and great advice.

rufustfirefly
aka robertc
aka robert4

And if any certain person is monitoring this
"CHOW"

RTF, Yes, I, too, believe MB works, but even though we may need to do it on our own for a while, ultimately it takes two to rebuild a marriage. Funny how the ones destroying the marriage so often seem to need to blame everything on us...

Sounds like you're doing great, especially under the circumstances. I'm sure there will still be ups and downs, but you sound well on your way to rebuilding your life. Good luck!

I hear ya man......good luck to you and god bless.

I read a book by Shirley Glass called "Not Just Friends." It gave me some insights, including the obvious which had been eluding me: "It takes two to make a marriage and one to make a divorce."

Good luck. You didn't fail if you didn't give up.