I have been posting here for the last 3 weeks trying to find some kind of consolidation as to why my ex left me after 10 years and what I did wrong. I got the cell phone bill yesterday and there were tons of calls to his ex wife's cell phone sometimes 12 in one day. Their divorce was so bitter I could not believe he would go back to her. Then today I recieve a phone call telling me what I was afraid of. He was back with her again. I felt like 1000lbs had been lifted off my shoulders because now I know there was nothing wrong with me, yet after it was sunken in, I have gone through all of this grief all over again. Just like today was the first day he left. God this hurts like hell. Out of all people, why her??! No wonder his son didn't seem to be too bothered by it all.
I talked to him tonight, he listened to me for awhile when I asked him how he could justify being with her again after all the restraining orders, police interventions & abuse aligations, the guy she left him for, and how his name was a bad word in her house. She just recently divorced her 4th husband. So since she couldn't find anyone better she decided to raid my life.
I was happy and I thought we had a good thing going. I had an idea she was jealous a few months ago but I didn't want to believe it. I mean, that is just crazy to me! Well anyway this woman is a pro at divorce. Now I'm afraid, I'm afraid she is gonna fill his head up with terrible things and I'll come home with a lock on my door and all my stuff in the yard. She's played mind games with me and with their son for the last 10 years. I can't imagine what she would do now.
He just seems to scream when he talks to me for no reason. I can't seem to calm him down no matter what I say. He just blows his top.
His family had to tell me they were together, he continued to lie until I showed him I had proof.
I didn't want to nark off his family members so I told him a girlfriend from the area seen them together. He asked his brother tonight what her last name was. That scares me. What would they want with her? Sigh... I gotta get out of here.
Pray I find a good paying job so I get that house and I can get out of here by next week.
Thanks for all of your support.

I know the pain you are going through, as my husband also left me for his ex-wife, a woman who put him through h e l l for years. The same woman who he told me he had absolutely no feelings left for. Of course there is a lot more to my story but I wanted you to know that I know what you are going through and how much it hurts! If you want I can give you my email address and we can compare stories and commiserate with each other. Let me know.

Susan <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

Christine,

Don't take it personally...It's his own demons he has to deal with..

It's not anything YOU have or haven't done..it's his own guilt..for leaving his first family no matter what the reasons..and it sounds like she's played on that guilt..

Now, he will carry the guilt of leaving yet another family..what a horrid burden to carry..

To be hoenst it doesn;t sound like you are missing a huge gem. Unless I read it wrong it seems he has a pst with abuse. and for im to see value in his ex that he clearly once despised and is obviiously an interesting character...well.. I dunno.doesn;t sound like a very good catch to me.

It was the ex wife that was deceptive when it came to the abuse aligations. She is an expert on what to do during a divorce. She's going through her 4th one now. I've gotten to know her quite well in the last 10 years.
My ex called me last night for sex. Would you believe it! He missed our sex life... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> I wanted to throw up.
I told him to go call his new girlfriend.
He said it was just not as good with her.
When I look at him I have no idea who he is. He is a totally different man. I believe this mid-life crises really changed him for good.
My heart was just feeling better yesterday too. Now it's always racing again, the guy I loved for 10 years is not only gone, it's like he's dead.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Christine27:
<strong>My ex called me last night for sex. Would you believe it! He missed our sex life...
He said it was just not as good with her.
</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Those comments right there would NOT allow me back into that relationship. Sounds like you were a good lay to him and thats it. Did he even respect you???? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

hi
was this your ex legal husband or ex boyfriend?
I posted on your other post and just saw this one.
I will move it so people will know what your talking about.
Keep on Keeping on..see my other post to you. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

going up! BUMP ^^^^^^^^ <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

Christine27:

--My ex called me last night for sex. Would you believe it! He missed our sex life... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

TR- Yes, I would believe this..when my dad left my mom for OW he did the same thing...heck even after he married OW he still called my mom to meet
him for sex...

She finally learned to tell him "NO, you made your choice..don't call me anymore"

OMIGOSH Christine,
It sounds like you are better off without him. He doesn't know what he wants. He creates disasters in his wake. He sounds (emotionally) unhealthy for you. You deserve to be loved back with the same quality of love that you put out. I feel sorry for their son. You were probably the most stable person in the kids' life. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />