There is nothing certain in this life but death. I'm not saying you should put your life on hold and wait for her. But if you love her, there is a way to move forward - Focus on yourself AND feel the love you have for her. Don't "try" anything to get the two of you back together - move forward alone for now.
She might be attracted to this "new" man's strength and the challenge, while here you are not quite begging, but asking for another chance in a way.
Change the whole situation. Let her go for now, and really take a look at your life - Do things for you - not selfish stuff, but things that will help you grow (for me I started playing the guitar again). No you don't have to go looking for another woman or any of that. It took me a while to realize that as I went through my divorce, it wasn't unhealthy to still love my wife, it was normal. What was unhealthy was that I was waiting around for her for a while. I eventually chose to start doing things for myself and amazingly my strength and confidence began to come back into my life.
When you hear some people express rage and anger at their X's, somewhere inside of them they still feel love and pain - that is why they strike out. I had a great couselor who once told me "the opposite of love is not hatred, it is indifference"... It doesn't sound like you do, but don't ever think there is something wrong with you because you still love her and don't hate her - everyone expresses their emotions differently...
Now it is true my X never came back... but I began to look at our past differently. I knew that I could have been with her for the rest of my life, but I now realize that she wasn't the one for me. When these revelations began to take hold, it wasn't as painful as I thought it would be. I wasn't resentful or angry at her or at anyone. In fact it was a kind of peaceful feeling.
Don't dwell on things right now. Do it for you and for any chance there be for the two of your reconciliation. Nothing is impossible for God, but you have to give Him room to work and He doesn't need your help! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
Spring is here - go golfing, go fishing... Take a trip somewhere with some friends. That will make her start wondering. As long as you told her how you feel, well you can't do anything else but give things time. I'm not saying play hard to get, or bring other women into the picture - just try being a strong independent mature man...
I know it stinks to hear this kind of advice, for I remember many people telling me the same thing when I was recently separated and divorced. Keep in mind though that I'm not suggesting you go full throttle and think it will work, just take a step at a time - one day at a time...
Hang in there. And DON'T focus on any images of her with this other guy - it will drive you crazy. When the thoughts try to come into your mind, go do something - quick... (what worked for me was that I said a quick little prayer asking God to take these thoughts out of my mind. For me it worked - If you don't have religion in your life right now, well then tell yourself to "get these freaking pictures OUT of my mind"! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> ...)
Be strong. It all gets better - no matter what the outcome!
God Bless,
mike
