I have been married for 9 years and have been verbally and physically abused for 8. i finally got up enough nerve to ask him to leave and he did. Now he has started to go to church and wants to give himself to god and make our marriage work. He just went to church, as i and recommited ourselves to God. He has changed many times before and it lasts for a short period. I just do not feel like a wife should feel about a husband. Every time I am around him I am angry and do not want him to touch me or talk to me. I know God can heal all and I do believe that but right know I feel numb for him and do not want to be with him anymore. we have two kids and the anger has come out in my son. my daughter at five years old has told me that daddy is so mean to mommy and it just hurts me. Will God be angry if I decide to get a divorce?

hi, I am sorry your having problems.
check this out..
no God would not want you to stay in a marriage where someone is using you as a human punching bag.

you can perhaps separate and see if his behaviour has changed and if God has given him a heart of flesh for one of stone.

sometimes people pretend so you will see if it last longer then the days..there is a cycle they have I am sure you know they fight with us and make up then after a few days or week..it is on to the nasties again. here is a place that has a lot of booklets on abuse marriage etc..your questions will be answered there go through the list of the councelling ones..heres a couple to start with..click on the topic..urls will take you there...
Let me know how your doing God bless you..
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When violence comes home

transformed lives

I wanted to give you another link to check out. You can contact this organization to see if they have a counseling center near you. Besides regular counseling, they provide separate classes for men and women that are in abusive relationships. The men have an opportunity to get to the bottom of their anger issues and learn how to change (if they desire to) and women can learn how they ended up in these relationships, and how to make changes in their lives and draw appropriate boundaries so they can go on to lead healthier lives. You will find information on Paul Hegstrom's books there too; both are full of good information. www.lifeskillsintl.org Best of luck! Let me know if you have more questions.

Thank-you for the sites to look at and one of them showed me the signs of abuse and i said yes to all of them. It has taken me a long time to get here and finally tell him to leave. He came over to visit our daughter and started to say that he does not want to live if he cant have me. He says he has changed but i do not believe him. I do not have husband/wife feelings for him anymore and I feel so free and happy when he is not here. He thinks that in a week he is going to move back in and I am upset about that. I told him I don't know what my feelings will end up being, only God knows and I need to heal. Some people say if he changes and he stays on Gods path I will want him back and be upset if I let him go. Right now I do not want this marriage and feel like I am horrible just like I have felt for so long. I do not know if I should seek legal seperation or wait to see what he does. He says he is going to commit himself to God and become a better person, but I have heard that before. I don't know even if I get past the hurt I can give him another chance because right now I do not want to.

well I think that you got your answer if you answered yes to them..I looked at the site they gave to you too and it was really a good one.

it is like the one they use in our state and I also did the wheel to see a long time ago about my husband and he fit it to a t..I cannot believe all I did put up with thinking it was normal mostly because some of it was also done by my dad and uncles..shrug..oh well live and learn..

so you know he won't change as you said he changes for a bit then goes back again..
I really think they are not capable of changing..at least I read in an article awhile back they are incapabe of loving or changing..
my husband use to tell me he will change and went back same ole same ole..made excuses..I was his slave before he even got sick..put me down abused pushed, shoved, hit, ridiculed told me I was pathetic.for no reason I would walk in the kitchen he would look at me and say that also
"you are as co-ordinated as a wet noodle" when I was pregnant I heard that one every day.

I use to have to get after him for what he said to the kids all the time..oh well

I just hope you can see that your in for probably really getting hurt someday..after a women got her nose cut off by her husband out here after she called 911 cause he pushed her down the stairs..before they got there he threw it in the fireplace and told her to tell them she did it when she fell ya right she cut her nose OFF falling shish..what a jerk/they did not treat him well putting him in the van from what I heard..lol

well you take care of you..and get a lawyer and do it before you get killed..hugs keep us posted and you have my e-mail..
what state do you live in ..
keep on keeping on