Hello, Peachy, I have been readying your posts this past month. Your "name" caught my eye, having ties to Ga, my extended family lives in Ga & AL.
Anyway, You hang in there and beat this loser. It sounds like you are getting good advice.
Re: the joint cards if they were joint he still is responsible. I liked the suggestion that you request copies of bills to know what was purchased.
I don't have anymore to add, just wanted to give moral support. My heart went out to you when I started reading your posts.
I usually post on Other Child board. My H had A and we have moved past that, but he now has an OC. We deal with that situation.
Wish I could help you more, but don't give up you will prevail

Texasgirl

Not Peachy,

Sorry I didn't respond sooner - was out of pocket. Remember, I am not a family law attorney, so this is just my opinion as a mother - I think Jethro has taken DS to your former counselor in an effort to show 1) it is someone whose opinion you resect because you went to her at one time (therefore, you wouldn't dream of attacking her credibility) and, then, 2) to develop information that you are unfit and, therefore, should not be believed. I don't know whether he would go to this extreme - ask your attorneys whether he could also be doing this in an effort to get primary custody of DS. You should also ask your attorney whether, as DS' mother and custodial parent, whether you are entitled to all of the notes, file, etc. that the counselor made while seeing DS. Just my thoughts...

BB

dear peachy-i did what was told to you about cc. after i left exh-he ran up the bills in a matter of days. before i cancelled them. i got itemized records from the credit card company. brought them to court and proved they were his bills, not mine. (either i was lying or i became a transvestite-dressing in mens clothing!! lol) the judge slammed him for trying this. get the statements and prove they are his bills!

has mark spoken to you-if not be patient-he is going through some rough stuff right now. if he can do anything he will.

keep me posted

peachy,
along with BB's post above ... I work in the health/mental health profession. Ask your attorney to pull the HIPPA laws and get those notes from the counselor that your son was taken to. These are federal laws and you indeed do have a right to her notes.

Ahhh. The lovely HIPAA act that I know so well and use each day at work...Great idea!

And the funny part is the next counselor I saw, she totally said the opposite of the other counselor, the one lied to by Jethro. And I too, cried and was very sad in front of her. But I was honest about what I went through.

We will get her notes. But it is really A NON ISSUE.

I mean, he's ALLOWED me to have primary custody for two years without a fight on this and their first offer to us is for me to continue to be primary.

It is probably a negotiation tactic to make me fold. Or something to just be cruel to me again. But when all you have is straws to grab for, you could grab for straws.

Thanks Texas, Renee, and Brit. You guys are incredible. I love ya.

My lead attorney is back. He is now going to start today a little on the case and the other attorney is out of her other court appearances so they have time now to bear down on this.

And I am somehow making it. Last night before bed, my son, who goes through separation anxiety after coming back from his dad's for a few days. Crawled into bed last night. He turned on the light and asked me to "read him to sleep" again as I always do. We did. He fell right asleep. Bill called and said hi and offered support. Love ya..He's been a real prayer warrior for us along with so much of you. Thank for more than you could ever know.

Before sleeping, I got down on my knees. I do that when I am really needing to do the really serious praying. Just asked God to lead us out of this wilderness and into stability both financially and with regard to closure for my son and I. And to help me keep forgiveness in my heart to Jethro after his doing all this to me. I do not believe that any court or judge could find me an unfit mother. No phd would ever say that. Now a paid off fundamentalist christian attorney (supposedly pro family)who cannot identify an abused wife standing before her is another issue. Personally she's off. Way off and always was. She was just another victim of Jethro's lies.

And this is key...Sociopaths have the ability to bend the truth so much they can even allude some health professionals and psychs too. Create the persona of a sane and together person when they're anything but.

And here are the facts about me and what my attorneys know and everybody that knows me knows..
1)I have always been the primary caregiver for my son. My gosh..something would have already happened by now after two years of his approval of being primary.
2)I was hopelessly sad and depressed TWO YEARS AGO. But that was TWO YEARS AGO. I was never diagnosed medically with ANY MEDICAL CONDITION AND NEVER FORMALLY DX WITH DEPRESSION EITHER. My docs made sure of it. Good friends. Nothing in a chart that could indicate that.
Just a "menstrual problem". hee hee. And I am dealing very well now with the crap that Jethro keeps piling on me and still not crackin'. In fact I am doing well. Sure I cry sometimes and I get angry and sometimes still mourn for theloss of my family, but I am ready to grab the future period. God's been good to me and blessed me and my son and is going to bless us more soon! I feel it coming somehow despite this poop.
3)For the last year and a half, I've held down a job where critical thinking is key. Heck, in the last hour within a 5 minute window, I stuck 3 i.v.'s and was also elected state president of my medical society. Yea..Everybody in the medical specialty I am in (technologist) must think I am wacked out so they elected me prez. Enough people think good things about me professionally and personally so his arguements about anything 2 years ago just ARE NOT VALID ANYMORE.

What does continue to hurt is the constant attacks he makes on us and the financial onslaught from this man.

Ok..His facade is beginning to crack really now. He's convicted of criminal trespassing and evading an officer. Felony. He's guilty and it can be easily proved of his adultery and spousal abuse both mental and physical. He's been shacking up with more than one woman spending the night with son in same house/hotel. He's been found guilty of willfull contempt.

Now what kind of counselor, should she know the real facts and legalities concerning Jethro think anything about him? Hmmmm. A COUNSELOR WHO ISN'T INFORMED. And any judge or person off the street would say that it's obvious to see who needs the problem.

I am asking in the victim's statement that he be "given some help to aid in his extreme stress with good counseling with a PSYCHOLOGIST". I will be careful with the wording, but will make it clear he needs help. After all what sane guy would break into their x's home in broad daylight with a neighbor watching thirty feet away and run from an officer who was armed? Pleeeeeze.

Nikko. Sorry to hear Mark is having some difficulties too. You are soo sweet. I will do the cc thing also. And no, haven't heard from him but appreciate the help he is willing to give in my hunt. I really need some good news with regard to that..Part of my moving forward and forgetting that I even need Jethro at all. Am waiting for the day where I don't need a damn dime from the man.

Please pray guys that we get some money soon. I don't want to ask for it from friends as I am somebody that always tried to do things independently and on their own. Please keep praying that things move swiftly and that we are able to settle soon.

And despite my sanity, I don't want to ever have to relive this horror I've gone through in a trial. Nope. I've overcome so much and I don't ever want to look back. Done enough self reflection to know what I did and didn't do wrong in my marriage and I have a clean heart and conscience now.

God bless you guys.

The utter craziness continues.

Now Jethro's attorneys are trying to gain access and asking me to turn over my personal computer. And they want vet bills as well as vehicle maintenance bills/history.

Been communicating with attny's for over a year and a half so there's huge amount of attny/client privilege that could be violated plus my privacy to be violated.

Jerko has also requested my passwords to internet too.

I am utterly sickened by this. Plus if I have discussed patient data there would be HIPAA violations if it was not for anyone else's eyes but me and the other health provider.

I am only going to post at another computer via another internet connection.

He's not going to keep controlling me. We've not asked for this wierd stuff. No sir. But we are going to squash his ridiculous requests hopefully.

I just am at the end of my rope financially and emotionally having to deal with this person. I want to settle this without court and move on with my life.

I want to sleep good for once. Have an appetite somewhat...however the four poundslost last week is ok and did want to get about 10 off but not this way ok?

I just want to be happy. Have my son and I be happy.

Plus when Jethro broke in my home it was documented by detectives that he logged onto my personal computer via my internet connection more than once on that date. No telling what he could have done or planted that day.

Please pray for peace of mind, for this utter stupidity to end, for the negotiations to finally begin and for my son and I to have a good resolution. Something has to happen.

It is not fair what has happened to me over the last 3 years. I've done and coped well. But enough is enough. I am done and want to move on. Please, please pray that a miracle comes and that we deal with these issues. That we are are given a good settlement and blessed with just peace.

I never wanted to end a marriage ever. I never wanted any of this. I've spent a year trying to just keep my head above water. He left me with nothing. No savings. Nothing. I've had to be a mom full time and work full time with no family here to help me. It's worn me out. But nothing is more important than my boy. He's worth every bit of effort. He couldn't just bring the papers to the table last year and give a fair settlement because he's so foggy and such a selfish liar.

Pray we are given a good settlement and FAST...We need it now.

Notpeachy,

Does Jethro's attorney usually practice family law? Where in the world did he get his law degree> Please ask your attorneys how in the world the new requests re: computer and passwords are "reasonably caculated to lead to the discovery of relevant evidence." I am assuming they plan to file a Motion to Quash. If they aren't, they sure as h... better and, if for some god forsaken reason your judge denies the Motion to Quash, have them file the exact same request for all of Jethro's stuff. Also, the request re: computer stuff really sounds over the top to me - ask your attorneys if under GA Rules of Civil Procedure they have the equivalent of what under the Federal Rules of Civil Procedure is called a "Rule 11 violation." Is this "out there" enough to rise to that level? Probably not, but its a thought.

BB

BB:

Thanks! I will pass it along. However, we are already quashing away. It's basically a stupid Jethro thing. His attorney does practice family law and my attorney has said this was not relevant to me but this has happened before and she's heard of it.

And there are new revelations...

I don't know if they are heavensent or a curse.

Advice and thoughts please?

Our counsel called Jethro's lead hillbilly and was discussing deposition dates for Jethro. During the conversation which was reported as "friendly" the opposition offered this tidbit of information:

Another financial institution in the midwest that specialized in Jethro's investment he sells went belly up. Bankrupt. This co. wants to funnel the business into Jethro's company (stupid move but hey nobody asked me..stupid company)and the "bad attorney" told our side the whole deal and said that "there might be some money after all" saying that Jethro may not be "a broke man" anymore.

So this is a new possibility. They are saying Jethro will have to fly out to midwest and discuss this absorption of this other company. That means more fog for Jethro and a return to his days of "living like a rock star" and the increased adoration of the gold digging maxxim model, Ms. Family Values who may wanting to add soon an "r" to her title hence become a Mrs. Family Values. That means also that either there could be a slugfest in court of law if tons of money at stake or a settlement to end this quietly and hopefully somewhat fairly if Jethro's attorneys need him to save face.

Like how does one who's a convicted felon save face I'd like to know...

It's really sad. I am happy that there may be money for us, but nothing in the interim and I am as broke as ever. And it is exceedingly sad because it is as though Satan has a grip on Jethro and will do anything except let go of him. It's like giving cocaine to a drug addict. Money to Jethro is not what is needed. It will fuel fires already burning and only help him spiral further downward or make him dance deeper or else become more of a liar by pretending he is someone else again.

Then again, it may not happen. Who knows.

But please keep praying and praying. The game of the opposition is to 1)starve me 2)scare the heck out of me and 3)wear me down every way until I break.

I never played chess. Only connect four. Please pray for a miracle.

Why is it that just when you think someone's about to be brought to their knees and they have the chance to be down. REally down. And have the chance to be able to look up to God for help that satan comes back in and keeps them from having to hit rock bottom to look and find God once more?

Somehow his having or the opportunity for him to have money saddens me even more.

Keep praying for God to triumph in this. For God to bless us and protect us. For my son and I to get out from this as unscarred as possible.

I used to pray for a hedge of protection around Jethro. To keep satan and the temptations away. I mean it 100% when I say that I don't want him back. Never as the man he is now. And while all things are made new in Christ, that hasn't happened yet with him. I always prayed he'd find God one day, if not in time for his marriage, so he'd become a better person. A good dad.

I somehow feel defeated period. That sin will win in the end here...for a time...But please give me opinions on what you think opposition counsel will do. Fight or want to settle now that $$$ may come back into picture.

And the funny thing is this...If he did get alot of money and I was somehow awarded a good settlement, nothing would change how I would feel. I'd feel still like a lost princess with a broken heart. The money didn't matter at all. I just wanted enough to survive on day to day and meet our needs. I don't need to live like Jethro has. I grew up lower middle class. My dad worked 2 jobs to put my sister and I through 12 years of private Christian schools so we'd have a better future than he did. MOney was not end all with me.

Ok...I just now realized that I posted to STBX wife and told her to work on herself and only control what you can control. I will take my own advice now. I will never be able to control what my stbxh does. But I can control what and how I do things and live and can control how I raise my child. I will just pray about the rest and ask you guys to do that with me. Isn't it funny how sometimes we answer our own little questions? But still need advice about the possible legal battle ahead...Settlement on their side vs. trial.

God bless you.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I will take my own advice now. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I've noticed myself giving advice that I need to take also. This week my lesson is in "letting go". I'm watching your posts on other threads, and you are definitely coming out of your "down" period. You have been offering great advice.

I can't believe he wants your computer files! Yikes. I can't get my STBX to produce tax documents, much less computer files.

Stay strong. I see you getting better. We are all getting better.

Peach,

Is there any chance this new "information" is intended to get you to go easy on him on the breakin? Look for them to say next "A conviction on the breakin would look bad and may kill this deal. You would get a larger settlement if you make the breakin go away."

Just a thought.

-AD

Hey Peach,

How are you doing? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

L.

hey there sweet peachy
know we all love you and are praying for you and son..

asked God to protect you,
and put you in that special place that no one can
reach you..

you will have his boldness and you will be strong
because the Lord is going to hold you up and fight for you.

Jethro is not going to harm you anymore
something Bigger then Jethro is on the Throne..
That is our GOD..who is most powerful, honest
faithful and true..

All our eyes are watching and waiting to hear from you and I hope all others are praying holding you up during this most stressful time in your life..

Soon it will be over..the fat lady will sing and Jethros plan will go a wry and he will probably
held in contempt allong with lying in court to the judge and councel thought the word was purgery, but for some reason it doesn't look right..lol well we know what it is..IT's WRONG..
anything he does is wrong latley..

So know we your friends or at least I do..hold you highly in esteem..
and will continue to pray for you..and for the judge to make the right decision..
take care..He will Keep you in perfect peace, if your mind is stayed on HIM...

remember he is in you and around you..he is bigger then this problem..

think of him as your breastplate..because he is..
think of him as the armour he tells us to put on..

make sure you have this on before you leave the house..

the breast plate of righteousness
have your feet shod with the preperation of the gospel (his word
the sword of the spirit..
and the shield of faith..

you need to get the bible man tapes for your son.
and throw out old wicked harry potter..
we are not suppose to be reading about witchcraft and spell casting etc..
stop that now..ok?
or you open doors for satan to get a foothold..
I thought you knew that..Harry Potter is not nice..he is evil..very evil..he teaches children real chants..and spells..it is not pretend..ask any witch..they do some of those same things..

but you don't need your son learning that and get him the sword and shield and mask..he will love it to watch the videos with..you will enjoy it to they have them one on fear..and these are great I watch them..I got them for my grandkids..and believe me you will enjoy them too..lots of lights and excitement..like batman..stuff..but is bible..stuff.. he will learn scripture and how to use it to..it will amaze you..take care..
Praise God soon the rest and relaxation is going to come..hugs.to you and son.. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />