Thanks S&C for adding me. I really need this right now. I'm working through a lot, and I thought a few weeks ago I had it beat! You never know when you will start feeling the hurt all over again.

The discussion about God's time vs. our time comes at me at just he "right time" ha ha. I am seeking Him right now, and the more I seek Him, the more I want to seek Him more. However, I have to surpress this longing of wanting to know how this will all work out. I'm really scared to be out in the single world, as I've never really been in it since XWH was my only boyfriend. And, I don't know if I can ever truly trust another man again. This makes me scared. So, knowing that God has things in his hands comforts me, but I'm struggling with wanting to know "how it will all work out".

Please continue to remember me, and I will remember you all.

Thanks,
Kim

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by kimmy2:
<strong> knowing that God has things in his hands comforts me, but I'm struggling with wanting to know "how it will all work out".
</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Kimmy,

this is one of my biggest weaknesses! I HAVE to have all the facts, know exactly how everything is going to turn out ahead of time......and God has had to work with me BIG TIME to get me to give this up!

In fact, during one of my many searches to pray through and KNOW how God was going to work things out, God spoke to me through II Sam. 14:14. The story is when King David's son Absalom ran away after murduring his brother Ammon (cause HE found out Absalom had raped his sister!). Anyway, the part of the story that spoke to me was when the quote: "God....devises his own way so that a banished person may not remain estranged from him."

This reminded me that NO MATTER what I could think up in my head, God was sooooo much more creative, so much wiser, He could devise ways my H would not remain estranged (from Him OR me!), that I could not even imagine it in my puny brain!! So why bother trying?? I would probably be wrong anyway!

Joyce Meyer often says "We are not really trusting God if WE have to know how everything is lined up and going to work out. Having some UNanswered questions IS trusting God!" OUCH!

BTW - if you don't know her, have never heard of her, or listened to her, I HIGHLY recommend you find her on a cable station and watch! She's GREAT!

God Bless you my dear sister. We will all lift each other up in continued prayer, and we WILL make it through this "wilderness."

Lupolady, thank you for you advice. YOu always seem to speak to me in a way you will never know, and by using God's word, I know you are speaking truth. Please continue to respond to me as you have helped me lots.

Yes, I have some of Joyce Meyer's books, as in September when this first hit me, I went to the store and searched for Christian books on how to handle discouragement and disappointment. I got a couple of her books, and they really spoke to me. I felt really close to God during that time, then around February (after my last appeal to my WH for us to work things out and he ignored me) I feel I kind of went my own way. I guess it was dealing with work and disappointment, that I didn't remain as close to God as I should have. Now I am wanting to seek to be closer to Him. I enjoyed that closeness I felt back in September/October.

Thanks for the words from Joyce M about trusting God. That hits me. I have got to pray about that and realize that it is not my concern what is in the future if I trust God. I was reading scripture last night, and came across (not by accident, I'm sure) the passage in (I believe in Matthew) about not worrying about tomorrow. That God takes care of the birds and He will surely take care of me. (The Eye is on the Sparrow verse). That provides so much comfort.

Anyway, thanks again for your prayers and support. I am blessed to find this board with so many knowledgeable and wonderful people.

Lupo is so right. I think we all want to know what God has planned for our lives right now but think about it. If we knew, we wouldn't rely on God. God wants us to rely on him in the first place. I will admit it is hard to wait when you want something so bad and you are wondering if God is going to give it to you.

I started watching some of Joyce Meyers on television about a year ago and I got so much out of her program. She is such a true believer that God does everything for our good.

Kimmy....I found another verse that had to do with worry.

Matthew 7:34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Someone once told me this "Let go and let God"

Love in Christ
cajunky

<small>[ June 14, 2003, 09:07 AM: Message edited by: cajunky ]</small>

I would love to be added to your prayer list. I have filed for D feeling as if I had no other options. Please pray for the reconciliation of my marriage BEFORE the D is finalized, and pray for my 5 children. Thank you!

Cajunky,
Thanks for the verse. I had actually just reread it the other day. Worrying is probably the hardest thing for me not to do. I think it comes naturally for me! But, we aren't to worry if we trust in Him, so please everyone, pray for me to trust more. I need Him to take control, and I am trying to listen to Him more often. As a matter of fact, I am going to go to a revival tonight at a church I've never been to. I think I'm being led to attend, so I'm going to follow.

Thanks for all of your support and prayers,
Kim

I would like to join the prayer group. What do you do? Do you pray on a certain day at a certain time? Do you have particular prayers that you say? I would like to ask prayers for my children ( 8 yrs D, 6 yrs Twins b/g, 1 yr old baby B) that they may be more peaceful with each other (two are adhd and quite a handful and the third is so needy for attention that she stirs it up quite a bit! to say the least!) I believe God sent me this baby boy to get me through this time in my life - he is a love and pure pleasure. My older children are also my loves but they are a handful...and drain me of so much of my energy and patience. I pray for God to fill me with what I need to care for them all. And, for my H. I pray that God enlightens his soul, and lets him see ow for what she truly was - pure evil in my opinion - although I know I'm not to judge but she pursued to no extent and he was weak. I pray he finishes coming out of the fog - as his mind and heart are so hesitant and he is filled with guilt and is unable to truly forgive himself so that we can move forward. I pray that I stop thinking our M could be over at any moment, that I feel security that my H will be by my side and in love with me for our lifetime. I pray for our marriage and family healing. And I pray for all of those who have been hurt, all the children who are so innocent , that God holds them in the palm of His hand. This experience of betrayal has shown me Jesus' love for us. I am Catholic, and always had been taught what Jesus had done - but this made it real. My words to WH after I had kicked him out for a week were " I am not turning my back on you - why I don't know - but these words are coming not from me. You have hurt me more than anyone ever in my life, and the cut is through my heart and soul, you have shattered me, but I am not turning my back on you." I allowed him to come home. Of course, demanding NC. But the point being I understood Jesus' love at that point. What we humans had done to him - and all He had was love and forgiveness for us. I know this post is long - I just can't stop when I get started. I hope this helps someone - I felt drawn to post this so maybe someone will get something from it. Thank you. I am letting Him guide me.

Weezy, your post brought tears to my eyes. You are so right. We cannot turn our backs, we have to still love and forgive.

I'm in the process of forgiving, although we have signed DV papers (he filed, not me, as he wants to pursue this "love" he has with OW). I also still love him, unconditionally it seems because I, too, have had my heart shattered, but I still love him....yes I'm angry at his choices, but I still love the man I married.

And those innocent children of all of us, they are certainly in God's hands. Often I will take my boys, one at a time, and hold them and pray for them as I touch their arms, heads, backs, whatever. I've done this while they sleep, and while they are awake, and they know I pray for them. I was so happy the other night--it was 9 pm and we were riding home (late for the boys) and I heard my 7 year old talking in the backseat. I asked him "What, son?" He said, "Oh, nothing mom, I'm just praying in case I fall asleep in the car." !!!!! I thought that was AWESOME!!!

Anyway, little ones need our prayers, and so do the adults, too. We are all his children, and we need to pray for one another. I, personally, am sick and tired of Satan having his fun by tearing apart families. Let's bond together and take this fun away from the evil one.

Sorry so long, but I had to get it off my chest.

Kim

lady,

I think you are really an angel that posts here just for those of us who get discouraged and have no one left to talk to and desperately need to know that God has a word and a plan for all of us. Again, thanks for your word. There is no way you could know how much it meant to me.

Kimmy,

I too have been struggling the past few weeks, but something happened to me starting Friday, and I began to stop being so full of anger at my WH, and to believe that there was a hope for us in God's time. It was a peace I have not know for a very long time. I think it might be all the prayers here. I want you to know that I am praying for your and your children.

Weezy,

There are some powerful prayer warriors here - you are in a safe and loving place. We will all pray for you and your children. I almost had tears in my eyes when I read your prayer. I am learning so much here from others. We pray every Wed., but some of us more often. The women are using Stormie Omartian "The Power of a Praying Wife". I bought a copy at Walmart for about $7.00, and use it. I had stopped praying for my WH because I felt angry at the world for the past two weeks, but I have started again and I even wrote my WH a letter tonight and will mail it off Monday. It was a love letter, well sort of, it was as close as I could get to one. I can't explain why I did it, but I felt moved to write it. I'm just going with the feeling.

Cajunky,

I always get so much from you, thanks for letting me eavesdrop on your posts. May God Bless you for sharing so much with us.

WGTT,

Thanks. I really appreciated your reply.

Love to all, and especially the new posters.
cajeanie

HI everyone,

I would also like to be added to your prayer list. I am desparately needing God's direction in my life.

I need to forgive my exH and his OW. I need to let go and let God deal with him.

Please pray for me and my four kids. My older girls are in need of God's will for their lives and my two little ones miss their dad and their whole family.

I would love to have my family back...even after all the hurt and heartache. I would love for a miracle to happen. Even if that is not God's will, I need help to move on with this mess and be a good parent to my children. I need to learn how to forgive...and I really don't know how this time. Thanks Pat