Stupid question, I know but it's been 20+ years since I dated. (Not as long for my xH though!!!)

Anyways, there is this guy that I would like to get to know a little better. But am not sure how to go about letting him know that I would be interested!

Thought, suggestions!!! Pleeeeeeeeeeeease!!!

Dawn <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Dawn, Well, I'm 10+ years older than you, hadn't dated in 20 years, I wasn't that good at it 20 years ago, but I've been dating for almost a year now. I'm not sure what I did, in fact, he now says he was chasing me, though I didn't know it at the time... We became friends because we'd both recently had our hearts broken.

At first I just wanted to feel desirable to somebody, but after a year of being treated decently, respectfully, and lovingly, not being screamed at, lied to, or cheated on, I'm in danger of falling in love...

I guess my only advice is be friendly and avialable, don't try too hard, if it's meant to be, it'll happen.

Actually it's a guy from church, I've known him since we were in HS he is a couple years older then me and I think we had probably spoken 10 times, he went to a different HS and lived out in the country.

Since I have been home, almost 2 years now. I think that he has noticed me. We go to different services on Sunday, he early me late, but he would stay for SS. Sometimes he would sit near me but never close! Hasn't really tried to make contact, but the eye thing has occurred, he hasn't been in SS for awhile.

Last Sunday I had to go to church before the early service was out so was there when fellowship time began, and I think that he was headed in my direction, but some one else came up and was talking to me, the eye thing happened, but when the other person was done speaking he was gone!! I looked in the parking lot and his truck was gone! I've seen him twice already this week, he works for a sign company and was putting up big signs. I was pumping gas, am not sure if he seen me or not.

It's kind of like a dance, but not!!! I am not looking for anything more then a friendship at this time. Just not sure how to let it be known that I am ready to date.

Dawn <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

OK daybreak here ya go. A year ago I had a girlfriend, and this other young lady that I met through a friend was interested in me. I was attracted to her from the first time I layed eyes on her and spoke to her. She kinda had a boyfriend at the time, but neither one of us really were committed to the other people. Well, to make an extremely long, crazy story short.....this woman basically approached me and let me know how she felt after about 3wks of me constantly running into her. She knew I had a somewhat g/f.....so she didnt push things, but waited until she knew that I wasnt really committed before she talked to me. I guess, what Im saying is that maybe this other guy you are talking about at church does like you, but is not sure of your feelings towards him. That is how I felt about this other woman that I met. I thought she was beautiful and had a wonderful personality, but wasnt real convinced if she wanted to talk to me......the hints were there, but she was still a bit vague. She eventually just let me know her feelings, and whaaaaalaaaah!! We became a couple, dated for a year now and are engaged to be married. Soooo, what Im telling you is to be the agressor.....if the OM does not really know your intentions he could be just shy or holding off. Just make small talk with him and go from there. He will get the picture I guarantee you and will ask you out. It worked in my case. Good luck and god bless ya!!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

<small>[ June 10, 2003, 08:03 AM: Message edited by: ITSOVER ]</small>

I'll let you know when I find out. When I first got d., I simply called up this guy I like and said, "hey I'm divorced, want to come over and talk?" He came over, and we've been friends, but neither of us know what to do now. My thought, just call him up, or when you see him, say "hey, want to get together sometime?" Let it go from there. I know, it's more fun if the guy asks you out, but he may not know if you're ready. You could also say "maybe you could call sometime" either way. Best of LUCK!!!

OK here's what we'll do, have you seen "Back to the Future". We'll find out the exact moment that he shows up at church. Then right in front of him I'll pretend to steal your purse, he can be the hero and beat me up. He'll hand you your purse, gaze deeply into you eyes, and ask you to run away with him.....

Of course if that's too complicated, you could always ask him out for a lunch after church or something.

It's funny you posted this, I've started experimenting with asking people out. For the longest time I was, shall we say insecure, and the thought of rejection just floored me. I'm not looking for anything serious or sexual. I just enjoy meeting people and making friends.

So I'm buying beer yesterday at the Kwik Shop and I notice the cute YOUNG gal behind the desk. She starts up some conversation. Doesn't believe my age (32) and asks to see my ID which leads to more conversation and I simply said "I bet we could have some fun going out some time". BOOM, I've got a date.

Daybreak,

Next time you see him...make the eye contact,
smile and hello, if your at a distance from him
and can't speak, without shouting, then smile and slightly nod your head in acknowledgement that you see him..as a hello..

And then let things go from there, if he's interested...he'll seek you out..

Also, could you possibly make the earlier services
on Sunday's?? Or show up earlier on Sunday before sunday school for the between services time??

<small>[ June 10, 2003, 10:02 AM: Message edited by: ThornedRose ]</small>

I agree with not worrying about rejection. The very worst thing that can happen is they say no. End of story. Good Luck

Okay, here's a coupla suggestions:

* Go to the early service a few times. Come a few minutes late and park as close as possible to where his truck is. Then once inside, see where he's sitting. Sit in a place where he can notice you, on the same side of the church, maybe one or two row ahead of him....who knows? Maybe he'll ask you out for brunch afterwards. :-) At the very least, he'll probably "bump" into you on the way out to the fellowship afterwords....

* Volunteer to be a server at the fellowship between services. Or make the coffee or something like that. Then he might come up to your table and start talking with you. Or you could go around to people (him) asking if they want a refil....

* Volunteer to be a greeter at the early service. That way, you'll probably "have to" introduce yourself! HA! (And if he doesn't work out, maybe you'll meet another nice fella.)

* Do you or the place you work for need a big sign? Maybe you can get his company to do it and then you'll "accidentally" run into him while he's doing work for you....

Just a coupla of suggestions. If you're anything like me (I'm 46), I don't think I could ask a guy out...it's just not me. But I think I could think of some pretty ingenious ways to get him to at least notice me.

Good luck!
Aloha,
Ms.O

Thank you all for the suggestions!!! I had planned on going to early church again this week. So will see where that leads me.

Thought about hosting a picnic for the divorce support group and invite all single people along, but don't know if I am up to the work that would entail right now. But it would put all of the single people who might be looking in the same place.

I am not up to asking anyone out. So being bold doesn't work for me. I also kind of want someone to want me. If that makes sense!!!

Will let you know if I get asked out!!! My 21 yo son made the comment that it would just be weird if I was to date!!!! Where does he get that from? His dad is already re-married!!!

Dawn <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Ok that is just too weird, I posted and had a pop up come up for dating singles!!!!

Too Funny!!!!!
Dawn <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Dawn,

I like Thorned Roses suggestion, very subtle!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Hmm, for something safe, maybe ask him out for a coffee? That is pretty easy going, and doesn't have to be a long encounter, but could lead up to wherever things go.

Maybe along those same lines, have a meeting of the church singles at a coffee place, then no real work involved, but whoever shows up can begin thinking of other stuff to do in the future?

LOL, oh the tangled web we weave. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Lori

oops, had a thought on why your son made his remark. It is cause you're his MOM, there will never be a man good enough for you in his eyes, and it is going to give him a lot to think about. Just too weird for a 21 year old, lol.

Lori <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Lori,

I don't know if it that son thinks that no one other then dad is good enough. My kids are happy for their dad, and I think blame me in someways, that they think I pushed him into having an affair.

For the majority of the time in our lives it's been just the kids and I as dad traveled so much, he was gone 2-3 weeks out of each month. So the situation doesn't seem that abnormal to them, it's us most of the time and then dad comes and visits. So I think adding someone would be wierd for them. It was ok for dad to re marry as they don't see him that often anyways.

Besides the kids have made the comment that I would be a cheap date since my stomach surgery, I can only eat 4 oz of food at a time!!!

The whole dating thing is wierd, and somedays I think that I am really ready and then the next I am doubting myself. So we will see what day I am on on Sunday!!!

Dawn <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Can you imagine the massive 'yuck' reaction a 21yo would have at the very thought of his mom and some man kissing. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

Would it be the same as my yuck of him and his girlfriend or different do you think!!!!

Dawn <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Dawn,

Good luck at early service tomorrow. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

say walk up to him , bat your eyelashes, smile a big smile, and say, "Hey big feela, howa about a cup of coffee and sandwich for lunch sometime?" <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Embarrassed]" src="images/icons/blush.gif" />

Wellllllllllllllllllllllllll, I went to church early this morning so that I would be there when fellowship started. Anddddddddddddddddd again, the eyes connected I smiled and nodded. Nothing!!!

Watched him walk outside throwing his keys up in the air and catching them, I hadn't seen his truck when I came so was curious as to what he was driving, should've said riding, he was on an old retro motorcycle. I did wave as he pulled out of the parking lot. Sooooooooooooo til next Sunday, unless I see him working on a sign somewhere this week!!! You never know!!!

Dawn <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Get a small group together, include him, and meet at a local breakfast for Sunday brunch. Or get a group together for a movie.