My son, 14, and i get to referee the XW's BF's daughter's tournament games in soccer this weekend. . .

isn't that special? i get to see XW and BF and daughter as a family on the sidelines. . .

i will assign son to assistant linesman on the coach's sideline, not the parent's sideline.

oh joy!

wiftty

Where is that 'Throwing Up' icon when you need it?

I've been thinking about this.

Given what you have described as your x's need to have some man around, the odds are good that someday she will marry again and this will be something you have to deal with on a daily basis.

As tough as it is, you need to just cope. My x married again and never told me or introduced me to her. They've been married two years and he's never demonstrated those courtesies. We introduced ourselves - after the wedding - at a major function for my daughter.

It's not fun but you are going to have to just get through it. You don't have to schmooze with them. As an official it would be unwise, I would think, to acknowledge them lest you be thought to officiate unfairly. Don't worry about it. Don't stew over it. You have known this day would come. Besides, given how long her boyfriends have lasted, this one may not be around forever.

Wifft,

Think of it as having the perfect opportunity to show your son how honest, fair and professional you are as an ump.

ANNA

Anna,

UMP?? baseball is an icky sport, if standing around waiting for something to come your way can be considered a sport. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

actually, i told X that the possibility existed, due to the fact that we would be refereeing games if XW's BF's daughters team won, and if the game was assigned to our field. . .

and she knew that already. . . and i prepared both son and daughter about that fact, and have a way of dealing with the potential such as to minimize any potential conflict. . . and since X respects my refereeing style, she does not see any problem there. . . but again, daughter does not say that she is going, but wants to invite "her friends" over, not just playing with XW's BF's daughter.

if anything, that was the result of my daughter blaming me for not being able to have friends over at her mom's house. . . until i just asked questions of daughter, and let her speak her truth. . . which XW heard, and I heard. . which i promptly pointed out to XW, and in one conversation, told her respectfully, what her mistake was . . and for her to draw her own conclusion. . . again, the H whom she claimed was only a child in her eyes, etc, is the one who can lead her in a healthy direction, except that she is blind to the wants of a immediate gratification. . .

Princess. . . .

i can do all of it. . . with stoicism, its just the presentation of XW and BF "acting as a family" as better than what we had for our kids is what really, really irks me. . . and I defend myself, try to trick my mind and keep the emotions at bay by reminding myself, its was her decision, not mine, and that i am now far better off with my GF than i ever was with her. . .

wiftty

If I could type the word that vomit sounds like it might be...Auuuuguuuublahhhh.

Ok. its a typed vomit for you because there's no darn icon.

If I were the ump, I'd become an omnicient ump. Maybe decide that I could throw everybody outta the game if I wanted to. Like look at the guy in the too tight sansabelt pants. You're out! Because your pants are cuttin' off circulation to your brain. To the XW and BF...You're out! Why? Because I said so. Because you're a certificed wackaloon and this guy supports it.

Then you could throw out the entire other team so your kids' team wins. Wouldn't this be fun?

I've been reading too much George Carlin lately that i've started to think (much cleaner of course) somewhat like him.

I personally think it'd be hilarious if I went to a Braves' game and saw some really drunk guy think he was the umpire and stand up and attempt to throw the entire stadium out...

hee hee heee

[QUOTE]Originally posted by notpeachyinga:
<strong>
If I were the ump, I'd become an omnicient ump. Maybe decide that I could throw everybody outta the game if I wanted to. Like look at the guy in the too tight sansabelt pants. You're out! Because your pants are cuttin' off circulation to your brain. To the XW and BF...You're out! Why? Because I said so. Because you're a certificed wackaloon and this guy supports it.

Then you could throw out the entire other team so your kids' team wins. Wouldn't this be fun?</strong>

originally posted by WhenIfindthetime:
My son, 14, and i get to referee the XW's BF's daughter's tournament games in soccer this weekend. . .

It's not Wiftty's childs game. It's the x's bf's child. And as for the comment about the really drunk guy at the Braves' game - I don't see the fun of seeing a really drunk person anywhere.

originally posted by WhenIfindthetime:i can do all of it. . . with stoicism, its just the presentation of XW and BF "acting as a family" as better than what we had for our kids is what really, really irks me. . . and I defend myself, try to trick my mind and keep the emotions at bay by reminding myself, its was her decision, not mine, and that i am now far better off with my GF than i ever was with her. . .

I know you can do a fair and impartial job. I bet this alleged family won't be any better than what your children could have had with their biological parents. You know, it seems like you are still struggling with it all. And, from what you've posted about your x, I don't know that I would feel so flattered if I were your girlfriend. I think you would be better off with a pet fish than you were with the x.

<small>[ June 14, 2003, 06:29 PM: Message edited by: cinderella ]</small>

Well, I messed that up. Nevermind.

<small>[ June 14, 2003, 06:47 PM: Message edited by: cinderella ]</small>

Hey Wifft,

I hope the Ump job went well. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Snickering!

ANNA

BARFFFFFF is the officiallword for vomit, is it not?

Not that Clicketty Clack has any kids, but I HAVE wondered what will happen when I am asked to anything that The Tall One's Kids are doing....I think I won't go. SHE sees me as the OW, and that is enough for me.

Love and light,

Jacky

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">but I HAVE wondered what will happen when I am asked to anything that The Tall One's Kids are doing....I think I won't go. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">well, seriously, i would not use her as the reason as long as SHE was the reason for the divorce. .. and that you both have been divorced for quite awhile. . .

in other words, watching kids, and going out as a couple sort of is different than visiting alone. . . you do not want to PUSH the tall one on your kids.. . my X tried that and got lots of difficulties as a result, because the kids do not feel the same way as you do. . .

my GF and I kave known each other for two years. . and only at this one time did i bring my GF to see him at a lacrosse game, and his only requirement was to say hi her and talk with her for one moment. . . and he did, and off he went. . . and when he came to dinner, he only had to say hi when he showed up and bye when he left. . . that was my only requirement. . . and he is 14, so he is not very interested in her. . AT ALL. . . .

however, interestingly, X and the BF sat away from everyone else, not along the sidelines in chairs, etc, but in the bleachers. . . by themselves. . . so i would wait until you can comfortably be called a couple so that you are comfortable being seen together and accepted by anyone and everyone in any situation. . . that is the key. . . how you feel about being more than a date when on public display. . .

wiftty

I deal with this three times a week. I coach my daughters softball team and I am the vice president of the league. When we are the in the first base dug out I get to stare at the entire x family for the entire game. They feel that they need to sit as close as possible so they can give the girls instructions. A lot of the time this can really screw things up for me. My signal is to take a pitch. X-inlaws, x-wife, new BF (hey, that can stand for boy friend or butt f***) yelling swing swing swing. I will say that all parents do that, not just my x-family. Here is the kicker. My XW had affairs with at least two guys (up to six). My X-inlaws have no idea that there little angel did any of this. They think I'm the bad apple. They don't know and I'm not going to tell them. It is much better when the xw sweats wondering if I'm going to toss that skelleton out of the closet at the next confrontation.

Here is my advice, let it go. As long as your kids love you what do you care what the x thinks about you. Do your thing and never let your x prevent you from doing anything you want to do just because she will be there. Do not let the kids suffer, be the bigger person. It will pay off in the long run.