My wife and i decided to move back to our home state. we decided that it would be best if one of us went back first to get a job and have someone to stay here and sell the house. well I'm still here she is back there. we have five childern, mixed family, they are here with me. After she was back there about three weeks she was working and i still had not found work, a lot of pressure on both of us. we started fight alot on the phone, and we started to talk about us and what was going on. she had told me that she was not inlove with me anymore. I ask her what had happend she said that she from the outside of the marriage looking and realize she was not happy. we have only been married for three years and hardly ever fight or disagree. when i call her now her tone of voice sound as if i am bothering her and she never returns my calls. I have bought the book fall in love stay in love. shipped one to me and her, she says she want's to work things out now, but it sounds like it's just to please me. what can i do from 2000 miles away. i don't want her to fall inlove with someone else because i not there to talk and spend time with her to work things out. we have been apart for three months now. HELP!!!!

Oh, man, your screen name makes me shudder with horrible memories!

AZ was NOT a good place for our M. H wanted to do eveyrthing with his family, and I was shut out.... it continued downhill from there.......

Well, enough about me...........what can YOU do?

I think I would try to Plan A her, long distance. WHAT is Plan A? If you don't know, go to the Concepts page (follow the link above) and read all about it!

Send her cards, flowers, gifts, etc. ALWAYS telling her you love her, can't wait till you're together again. Listen: Know her needs and promise to meet them.

TALK TO HER DAILY. Talk to her as often as you can. KEEP the link, the lines of communication going. KNOW WHERE SHE IS. This "accountability" will not allow her to spend much time building another relationship in your absence.

bug, Get to her state asap!! You gotta reconncet as soon as it is possible in order to build up the LB$ and not allow anyone else to infiltrate and meet her EN's.

Keep reading and posting here. Week-ends are slow. Others will be here tomorrow.

God Bless,

bug,
i agree w/ the other poster, try to close the geographical distance ASAP. What are the ages of the childen? Are they children born of the M or yours or hers? Even though she is away you can still do a good Plan A. Good luck. tew

ok

I have been using plan A for about a week now and didn't even know it. but after alot of phone call to friends yesterday and your postings. the i made my mind up to go back in three weeks. she is staying at her mothers house. and thank the lord for good friends because they want us to get back together and said i can stay with them as long as it takes. I called my wife and told her i would be there in three weeks, the line was a little quite when i said that and she came back and said you are not going to give up are you. I said of course not you are my wife. she does not seam ver y happy about me coming back from the tone of her voice. I told her i don't want to throw our marriage away and we need to try and make it work. I told her i love her and would talk to her later and have agood night then she hung up. not a whole lot of excitement their i hope by doing this i don't push her away more.