Deliberated all week and made sure that Jethro's attorneys knew that I offered for him to have son on Father's day with a pickup at 9 am and return to son's school next day as Jethro isn't allowed within 1/3 of a mile of me (he was convicted of breaking into our home).

Mother's Day was really hard this year. He wouldn't let me see my boy as it was his weekend. He said only way to get son was to go to his home and get him with mistress, Ms. Family Values there as well. Being he broke into our home less than a week prior, my attorneys said no to that as it was not safe plus I would not allow myself to be placed in a position where some kind of confrontation would occur in front of my boy.

Asked that he instead bring son to guard shack at front of subdivision but he refused. He changed his mind anyway and didn't let me have my son on Mother's day. And I am the primary parent.

So with regard to this being my weekend I had to think. What would God do. What would my faith say to do? Would my son respect me one day if I played dirty tricks like his dad has? Nope. Am I being the best mom I could be and honoring my faith if I have contempt in my heart and really wish an eye for an eye?

So I let my son go to his dad's today and have an overnight visit. Sure, Jethro is not a good dad. Not living the way he is. And he's not done anything to change his life ever. Worst part is if this business thing goes through, he's gonna make more money which will make him spiral downward faster and faster and pretty much cement the golddigging Ms. family Values for a while as the live in shack up Maxxim mistress.

Like we need any of that.

So his attorney, the one who's his little friend, calls me up and I already had son dressed and ready. His attorney arrives 30 minutes early and first thing I ask him is "do you have a good carseat for him because if not, I will let you use mine and make sure that Jethro returns it to son's school tomorrow." Attorney came to pick up my son WITHOUT A CARSEAT.

He was very nice and even pet my dog. He isn't too bad of a guy. Funny thing is, this attonrey, isn't the bad one. It's Jethro's other one who's the ahole. We were pleasant to one another and he said "thanks alot for doing this...you didn't have to."

And I kissed my boy goodbye and let him go off to see Jethro.

I went downstairs and cried after he left. Holidays are somewhat a reminder to me of the destruction of divorce. I hate them really. Unless I am visiting away somewhere or outta my usual environment.

I hate the holiday trade offs too. I wonder. I just wonder sometimes if there could be any relationship so "foggy well" good that it can make the split schedules and holidays all that. I believe most of us here didn't want a divorce and for whatever reason...adultery, abuse, whatever, we had to get one although it was not our first option. Guess we tried. And that's good.

I guess I feel somewhat like Formerly Confused right now. Wondering if it ever gets better having to hand off our kids to someone we once made a sacred vow to.

And I am still scared financially. Worried because I don't know if we are having to move in 2 weeks or not. I haven't even gotten a moving company yet. How can you secure one if you don't know if you're moving.

And once again, Jethro hasn't paid this month.

And there's the thing about my computer, their requesting it, and the hilarious vet records, etc.

Discovery ended months ago but some stupid state clause says they can attempt to reopen it now and we're trying to quash it period.

Pressure is mounting and all the while I am still praying.

Last night we went to a dinner

Pressure is mounting, but you are growing stronger. Thinking about WWJD is a great start.
And I loved your comments to the OW on another thread.

You are healing, and there are rough times, but as you grow stronger, you'll be able to weather them better.

I'm in "letting go" mode. I have no control over anything or anyone but myself. So I choose to be happy.

May God bless you and your family Peachy.

Hi Peachy,

Sorry to hear you are spending the day alone. I dread the day when my husband starts parading his bimbos in front of my daughters. Part of me is worried they'll react really negatively and then he'll go berserk on them or he & she will say something really hurtful to my daughters. My husband can be extremely emotionally and verbally abusive. Another part of me is scared they'll stuff their true feelings deep inside and pretend to like the bimbo du jour - because they'll be too afraid to express how they really feel. My daughters frequently rant to me, each other, and their friends about how disgusted and disappointed they are with their father... but they admit they're afraid to let him know.

Well at least your ex wanted to see his child on Father's Day. My husband didn't say anything about it. He just had visitation with them yesterday and majorly did the disney dad thing - guilt. They took him a card. Since he lied last year and said we did nothing for him for his birthday and Father's Day (got him cards and presents) we figured why bother this year.

Sorry you didn't get to see your son on Mother's Day. I have a similar situation where I have to arrange visitation thru mutual friend because my husband is violent with me. As in your case, the work is left up to me to make visitation arrangements. At times my husband refuses to cooperate with visitation arrangements by demanding to see me too. The court system needs some serious education on spotting how these guys manipulate visitation with their children to harrass, threaten and control.

Peachy,

Well done! I have a lot of respect for you in how in so many instances you are able to put the issues aside and do the right thing. I know it isnt easy.

Its almost kind of ironic that in our situation, in essence we end up being both father and mother - yet we acquiesce the day and the honor to others. It reminds me of how the mother offers her child to another woman so that Solomon will not have the baby cut in half to settle the dispute. You would rather do what is best for the child despite your sacrifice.

My kids have kind of caught on. At times they have gotten into the car and started to tell me something only to slip and call me mom, then say oh well you are mom and dad anyway. (I suppose its kind of how grandma had to run through the list of 10 grandkids before she hit on the right name. I seem to have a few grandma moments myself)

I dreaded the same thing on mothers day that you just went through. Unfortunately or fortunately (maybe both) my WWEx didnt bother to show up for mothers day or call or let me know she wouldn't be there - she instead was on her honeymoon in HI.

I hope the rest of your week goes well, drop me a note if you want to talk.

John

(((((((((PEACHY)))))))))))))
Lots of hugs to you!

You are such a strong person and someone that I look up to! You have given me a lot of strength I didn't even know I had! You've help me in ways that you can't even imagine. And I thank you!

You know, I was in church yesterday and just started thinking about my WH as I was sitting there listening to the father.

And I had this huge pain in my chest and my eyes welled up with tears thinking about him.

But you know what gave me comfort at that moment?
My trust in God that he has something very special planned for me and my future! I know he does!

Don't worry Peachy, God has something VERY SPECIAL planned for you too. I know it! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Ditto what STBXW said. Your dignity, faith and belief in yourself are great examples to all of us. Perhaps you can find more strenght in the fact that God is using you in a great way, and you will find peace and happiness after all this turmoil is over!!

I have to move in the next two weeks from a spacious lovely home to a small two bedroom place downtown. But you know what? Despite the heartache and the packing and the scariness of it all, God has watched over me and my D. It's a cozy place we can afford with careful budgeting, it has a tiny backyard, and they let me bring my beloved cats and dog. Now THATS God's hand at work. And I know you will find the same very soon. Take care!! Be happy.