My husband and I have been married two years. Loving him isn't the problem. His ex and two children are. He has been divorced four years and has been broke ever sence. They divorced and he made min. wage but signed an agreement for child support higher than his income. Now what. We haven't been able to make the "real" payments and yesturday we were served with papers. He started his own company a year ago but we still can't keep our heads above water. Let me tell you we don't have anything. It isn't like we don't pay the child support amount to live in luxary. He has a truck from 1986. Parked because the motor blew up and we can not afford to pay to get it fixed and I drive a car dated from 1991. A four seater. Neither cars are in real safe shape. And we have two children in this house to support. His ex is remarried and they both drive brand new cars and live in a house they own. We rent. Help me! I do not work as I run the office for the business. But as sad as it may be. We could live better if we divorced and I was written a pay check from him. She can not come get my money. I love him but I feel like we will never get ahead with this on our shoulders. One more thing we never see the kids. They are not the best behaved and we can not give them everything so they don't want to come. She allows them to do this. Before we married she asked him to sign off his rights. How is that in the best interest of these chilren? But what about the children in this house? Some one help me before I loose control.

Anger,

I don't know much about this, but from what I have gathered, your H can't just not pay - even if his X says he doesn't have to pay. He has to go back to court and get the CS adjusted - which means he has to pay the lawyer (probably) - even though he has no money. It's a difficult situation to live with, but if he just doesn't pay - no matter what the reason, he can be reported as a "deadbeat dad" and all kinds of bad stuff happens (as you are beginning to see).

If you face the thing squarely, go and have the CS adjusted, he should be paying less.

-AD

Oh don't get me wrong. He is not a dead beat dad. He pays. He will go without eating to feed his children. We send her every dollar and penney we can find. We just do not have to amount he agreed upon years ago. I have talked with a lot of people about this and no one is asked to pay this amount. It is more than 50% of what he makes. How does the court even allow this to happen? I know he is a big part of the problem but now we are lost with no money and no way to pick up the pieces. A lawyer well like you said with what money. All I can think is to send her the amount the state says we need to pay and use the rest to get a lawyer. Not that that will be easy because the kids will call us and ask us why we don't send them enough money to live. Can you even begin to understand that. She will tell the kids we didn't send them enough money and she will set them up to call. I am just sick.

Has he ever approached her and explained the situation to see if she would be willing to reduce the payment?

Have the child support modified! There is definite cause. It doesn't matter what was AGREED upon or even signed at the divorce judgement, it is about amount of custody and amount of income. Because he has no custody, he is going to get a higher support payment, but it should still go on his actual INCOME, not some fantasy number that he was made to sign.

I know this for a fact, my ex and his slime ball of an attorney made the original CS set up with me making a fictitious salary, and him getting some custody. He also moaned enough that spousal support isn't even considered. I just had a CS modification hearing done and ex will have to pay more CS, just unsure of numbers yet.

You and your husband and children in the house deserve to have money to live on. You should be able to check into a Family Law Help Center and get the information you need to have CS modified without having to pay attorney fees. It is a simple calculation of ACTUAL INCOME and CUSTODY time. I imagine the ex-wife will also have to claim actual income of her household (yes, will include her new husband), too.

Quit being angry and go do something about this!

Lori

On another note, if ex-wife has kids calling and complaining about the lack of CS, then that should also be brought up in the hearings. that is manipulation through the children and it is WRONG!

My ex owes a month of back CS, and I will say to the kids something to the effect that there isn't any extra money at the moment because CS is late. They understand that. I'm a single mom who was dragged through hell and back the past 3 years; they know I will try and make things right when I can, but none of us will contact Dippy to tell him it is causing us problems, because that is exactly what he intended.

The ex-wife is using her kids and not teaching them very good manners or life skills. Manipulation and the Give-me Syndrome are not something that needs to be encouraged.

Lori

Hello, I'm not sure what the laws are in your state, but in NY the max cs for 2 c is 25% also they figure in a min surivial amount for the payee and who they support ie new spouse, more children etc. You don't need a lawyer to get this reduced his income is fact and can't be disputed. Just make sure all the dependants including the ones he pays cs for are listed on paperwork. The court may even discontinue cs completely and make his x support the c by herself if you are living below the poverty level. Also make sure you receive a paycheck, any money you make cannot be touched. Smiaj