I married my husband knowing he has at least 2 children with 2 different women. This didn't bother me until we had our child of our own, now i can help feeling resentment towards his kids. His son regularly visits but he has no contact with his eldest child. He seems to have too many skeletons in his closet and its affecting our relationship. When we argue, i bring up the fact that he has so many baby mothers. And there is the issue of child maintenance, i don't like the idea that what i earn will go to his babymothers. We don't have enough to feed ourselves? I need some advice.

Augieuk,<BR> I hate to sound harsh but......When you married this man you knew of his other children.So i really dont see what the problem is.All tho you and h have child together now he still has the other children.When you took the vows you knew that he paid child support and that the money coming into your household would in part go to these children (just like it should)Those other 2 will always be his responsability and this is something you will have to deal with?I certainly hope that when step son is there he is treated well by you,(but have my doubts since you are resentful).I have 2 children and my h has 2 children if he treated or showed open resent to mine he'd be gone in a flash because the kids will always come first and formost with me.I hope you can rethink your stand on this because i fear if you dont you will be over on the divorcing/divorced board next...Do the right thing<P>------------------<BR>Tracy<P>[This message has been edited by Traci493 (edited June 06, 2001).]<p>[This message has been edited by Traci493 (edited June 06, 2001).]

I know how you feel. My husband of just slightly less than 6 months has three kids -- 2 from his previous wife, and 1 with an old girlfriend. Obviously I knew about the child support issue before we were married, but what I didn't know was how far behind he was in his payments. We're currently having to make *triple* payments every month to keep him out of jail, and that monthly amount is more than his current income, so obviously the "extra" is coming out of mine. Ok, that keeps coming out wrong no matter how many times I try to re-word it. There is no "my" income vs. "his" income. We have our income and our bills, including a huge amount of child support to pay each month. If both "his" income as well as the child support obligations were to suddenly disappear we would still be in trouble, as "my" income alone is not enough to support the 2 of us. Does that make any sense at all?<P>The kids are over 200 miles away from us, and every time we get them for the weekend (or an extended weekend) we end up spending several hundred dollars (gasoline, extra food, showing them a "good time") which we simply don't have. I love the kids dearly, but I'm starting to get resentful too -- I'm 5 months pregnant myself right now, and eating ramen noodles more than anything else. We're bouncing checks left and right. Stress levels are exceedingly high. I have no idea how I'm going to be able to provide basic furniture or clothing for the baby. We'll have the kids here for the entire month of July, and I'm scared to death that we're all going to starve. <P>Ok, I know that was a long introduction, but I just wanted to show you that I really DO understand how you feel.<P>That being said, I think you're being unfair when you throw the "too many babymothers" in his face. He has a past, as do you and everyone else in this world.<P>Have you had an honest talk with him about the financial situation? Maybe it's time for him to take on a second job, so that he can do his duty by his kids, as well as helping you in supporting your current family.<P>I wish I could offer you a magic solution. Wish I had one for myself, too <BR>