Well I guess I need to move over here to the Divorce forum since it's now going to happen. Seems to incredibly quick. D-Day end of April 2003. WW affair started December 02. Now I'm filing for divorce next week. My head is spinning. WW walking away from home, business everything. Living with friend without a care in the world. Very defensive when I bring up all the affairs. Seems to have an excuse for each one.

I am also incredibly relieved and sad. Pretty much what she says in her emails. I cannot meet with her and don't when I could. Now I just want it over with. I want all her stuff out of the house and I want to move on with my life.

She says I'm such a nice intelligent guy but can't communicate who I am to her and don't know how to get to know her. This after 24 years of marriage. She has been so unbelievably cruel the past 6 months I can't believe she is the same person I married.

Now my thoughts have to go to my survival and well being. Could be a financial mess her being so involved with the business. But she walked away a month ago and I've been able to keep it going. We have so many clients that were friends and have known us for so long I'm afraid they will pick sides and just dump me and the business connection.

So my heart and mind shift from what could have been saved to what was to what will become of me. I am in IC and joined a divorce support group last week. I can't even imagine how to get out and meet new people other than joining a church or actually do something and have fun. Not used to that.

I could really use a friend who is going through this or has gone through it to share the experience, good & bad.
-------------------------------------------------
Me BS 51
WW 47
married 24 years
Son 22, Daughter 20
D-Day #1 1980
D-Day #2 1981
D-Day #3 1987
D-Day #4 April 2003
Plan B 6/1/03
Asked WS to move out
Filing for divorce end of June 03.

<small>[ June 21, 2003, 12:31 PM: Message edited by: Joquin1 ]</small>

Joquin... I am here. I know the feelings that you are having right now. Just go with them. Don't feel that you have to be strong or a 'man'. It hurts... and it should. There is no way that you can go through this without alot of pain. I guess I would only say to you... even though you are ready to move on... what if you don't file for a while and move on anyway... I mean. If you are tired of this, and I can understand why you would be, perhaps you need to get your life in order on your own. Be separated... but think about not filing for a little while until you have more energy to deal with the actual divorce part. The separation part is hard enough. The repeated betrayal is enough... but to add the divorce proceedings and hassles right now might NOT be in your best interests.

I know it would be nice to just be done with her. That is something that would be great, however it will not be that easy regardless of what happens. Give yourself a few months time to get things in order... not necessarily for reconciliation... but to just let yourself take things at a pace that can be more easily handled. The divorce can be there in a couple months if needed. Perhaps she will realize things and change. Perhaps you won't care if she does, but that doesn't mean that it all has to happen RIGHT NOW. You can tell her to move out. You can file the preliminary separation agreement. But you don't have to file the divorce right now.

Regardless, we are here for you. I know... my wife left me and my boys as well. She just decided that everything bad in her life was my fault, and that to be rid of me and to be involved with someone else would make her whole and happy. Well she is rid of me, she has broken up with her other man or so she told me... I didn't care one way or the other. I don't want to know ANYTHING about her. But I know that letting things go for a while allowed me to take things as they came. And then when I was ready to move more, I was able. Deal with the separation and loss first... don't worry about the actual divorce for a while. It might only add to your problems rather than help them.

<small>[ June 21, 2003, 12:53 PM: Message edited by: Formerly Confused ]</small>

Formerly Confused,

Thanks so much for your reply. It really helps having someone to share all this stuff with. I feel I need to be 'strong' so I can function and keep my business afloat. I have 10 employees, some of whom have been with us for 10 years. They see us falling apart and get nervous about their future. I don't want to loose my business over this. WW doesn't care. Doesn't even see the financial repercusions of her actions. Just dumps the thing on me during our busiest time of the year. Incredible. Leaves me 5 animals 4 acres of land to take care of. How selfish can someone be?

Your advice to me is good. I'm in such a tizzy and rush to be done with her. To push the pain away as far as I can get it. She has no place to live yet, just staying with a friend, and I don't want her stuff here. I am pushy, frustrated, angry, incredibly sad, but somehow relieved that she will be out of my life. I keep thinking that somehow she will get hit with a lightning bolt and see how incredibly selfish and weird her behavior is. But she only says that 25 years of our life has been a waste. A mistake, and that I did nothing but accept the status quo and would'nt work on us.

So maybe if I don't file for divorce and take a breather like you suggest, I still move on. Take the time to get other things like my life in order. I just don't want her to file for D before I do. Does it matter? Is it just an ego trip I am on to be the first one to file for D? I can see where the actual divorce would add to my problems, especially since we own a business together. Geez what a mess.
-------------------------------------------------
Me BS 51
WW 47
married 24 years
Son 22, Daughter 20
D-Day #1 1980
D-Day #2 1981
D-Day #3 1987
D-Day #4 April 2003
Plan B 6/1/03
Asked WS to move out
Filing for divorce end of June 03.

<small>[ June 21, 2003, 02:24 PM: Message edited by: Joquin1 ]</small>

Joquin,

I just wanted to add that you're not alone. Many of us here are struggling with the same issues, although we've arrived here in different ways.

I know how you feel about not wanting to go out alone, and meet people. I feel the same way, although thus far I don't even have the need to meet anyone new. I still love my exhusband. I do go out with some single, younger friends--but I do so for fun, not for meeting anyone. When I do feel ready to really move on with my life, I plan on joining a church that has a large 'older singles' group. I married at age 22, and was married 21 years. I'm used to being part of a couple,not used to being a single person.

One thing I wanted to say about something you said. You said, </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I keep thinking that somehow she will get hit with a lightning bolt and see how incredibly selfish and weird her behavior is. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">As a former WS, I can only say that this day probably will come. It did for me, when it was too late. I must add though that I see in your signature line that your wife had multiple affairs over the years. Perhaps in her case the lightning bolt won't hit her. If it doesn't it's okay. You sound strong, though overwhelmed, and you deserve to not have a wife who does this. One time is bad enough, but over and over must be very hard to take.

That's great you've joined a divorce support group. I still haven't done that. I think part of me is still in denial that I'm truly divorced. Even worse yet is accepting the fact that my exhusband doesn't want me at all.

Take care, and know that MB can be a great support during the coming months/years.

H_P

Hello H_P

Being alone is tuff. I do have my 20 year old D living with me. She also works as a crew leader of the crew my WW deserted. My relationship with D has grown alot. I don't keep much from her and WW won't talk to her much about anything except to say she's had enough. Not fulfilled etc. I try very hard not to get D in the middle of anything.

My first meeting a divorce support was very good. After a brief talk by some physc, we split into groups and discussed our situation. It is so good to share and understand that other people are going through what we are. Some stories were heartbreaking and make my situation look like a cake walk. One guy has lost his business and lawyers are everywhere and he hasn't smiled in a year. I'm going to invite him over for dinner and invest some time in him. So sad.

One thing you said H_S,

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> As a former WS, I can only say that this day probably will come. It did for me, when it was too late. I must add though that I see in your signature line that your wife had multiple affairs over the years. Perhaps in her case the lightning bolt won't hit her. If it doesn't it's okay. You sound strong, though overwhelmed, and you deserve to not have a wife who does this. One time is bad enough, but over and over must be very hard to take.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">As a former WS, when did you realize what you did was wrong? What made you realize it?

Also you mention you're having a hard time accepting the fact that your ex doesn't want you at all. If you've truly acknowledge to yourself that you were wrong in what you did and have changed from that behavior then you can hold your head up high and be comforted with the knowledge that you have integrity and honor.

You are still young and have a long time to find out what you want in your life. I too am trying to find a church where I feel comfortable.
-------------------------------------------------
Me BS 51
WW 47
married 24 years
Son 22, Daughter 20
D-Day #1 1980
D-Day #2 1981
D-Day #3 1987
D-Day #4 April 2003
Plan B 6/1/03
Asked WS to move out
Filing for divorce end of June 03.

<small>[ June 21, 2003, 03:07 PM: Message edited by: Joquin1 ]</small>

Joquin,

Glad that you've gotten closer to your daughter. I certainly am close to all my children now, but it has gotten much closer and intense since I ended A with OM last July. They met OM about a year after I separated. The children know I knew him online before separation, but they don't know I met him in person, etc.

You were smart to go to a divorce support group. That's great you're reaching out to the man who's lonely instead of thinking only of yourself.

You asked me when did I realize what I was doing was wrong. I realized it right away, when I first began the EA over the internet. I knew it was a huge mistake all along, and yet I selfishly continued on my horrendous course of destruction. Quite honestly, I think it was some sort of a midlife crisis. Although I'm not bipolar or mentally ill, this illness runs in my family. My brother thinks I had a 'manic break' and went off the deep end for awhile by getting into this affair. He could be right, although I see it more as an extreme case of selfishness and wanting to be 'free' after years of caretaking. I must say that in contrast to my guilty feelings, all the way to the end OM never thought we were doing wrong. He felt justified as his wife had 'ignored' him for years. The guilt and pain made me sick. I honestly had stomachaches the whole time.

I did finally realize how wrong it was when I saw everything I was losing. I'd lost the respect of my husband. I think prior to that, I thought he'd love me no matter what I did. Once he'd told me, "I'd rather you cheat, than us divorce." I took that to mean he didn't care. I was wrong. It was just something dumb he said without thinking much.

All I can add is that an affair is like an addiction. I knew it was so wrong, so self-destructive, and yet it had a tremendous pull. OM and I had a bond of secrecy, and he was my only emotional comfort for years. I'd pulled away from friends and family. I've said this here before, but when I ended it (over the phone-couldn't do it face to face) I literally fell on my knees and prayed for strength to not call him. It was very hard at first, in many ways he and I were closer 'talking wise' than my exH and I ever were. He was more talkative, and exH hardly ever said a word. But, I ended it, and he moved back near his wife. (He's still married, to my knowledge)

Thanks for the kind words. Yes, I acknowledge how wrong I was--I 've cried and begged my exhusband for forgiveness for a long, long time now. I've forgiven myself, to a degree, and I know the Lord forgives me. My other loved ones (parents, siblings) have forgiven me, and they understand I'm a human being. (Prior to this I was the 'perfect', wonderful one in the family)

Yes, I am only 43 so that's relatively young. I'm concentrating on my children for now. At least I have a good career and I can afford life on my own.

Take care, and again know that you aren't alone as far as experiencing this awful pain. We can only learn from it, I suppose, and do our best to not repeat past mistakes.

H_P

I just want you to know you are not alone.
It's taken me a long time to realize the whole idea of my STBXH and I together is not a reality to me anymore.
It's been a few months since I filed and I am doing better everyday. I see now he was not going to change and I deserve better than abuse and a WH.
It doesn't matter if it's on paper or not.
My advice to you is don't get involved with another woman until you know in your heart you aren't waiting for your WW to "get it."
It could take a minute or it could take a year.
Don't risk hurting another person.

your friend,

Aly

H_P

It is really good for me to hear your story. I keep thinking of WW's motivation for her infidelity. I did get an explanation for some of them only recently. Amazing how the truth comes out of her now that she wants to leave me.

You said:

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> All I can add is that an affair is like an addiction. I knew it was so wrong, so self-destructive, and yet it had a tremendous pull. OM and I had a bond of secrecy, and he was my only emotional comfort for years. I'd pulled away from friends and family. I've said this here before, but when I ended it (over the phone-couldn't do it face to face) I literally fell on my knees and prayed for strength to not call him. It was very hard at first, in many ways he and I were closer 'talking wise' than my exH and I ever were. He was more talkative, and exH hardly ever said a word. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">That is what WW is doing. She has pulled completely away from my family and alot of her friends that don't agree with what she is doing. But she has alot of support from other life-long friends and new friends who share her view on the necessity for her to "find herself". It is interesting how you say you found your OM to be more communicative and new you better than your exH. This is what WW tells me of her OM, who is an old boyfriend of 30 years ago and is married. He was her "first love". I too was withdrawn and not very talkative. It's my part in all this that is also very hard to take. How could I have been so uncaring and stupid and not realize what I was doing damaging our relationship? And now that the light bulb is on, she wants no part of me, and I am emotionally exhausted and can't take her affairs and her inability to see how damaging her behavior is anymore.
H_P why did you end your affair if OM was so good at meeting your emotional needs that your exH could not or would not fulfill? Did you always know that OM would not leave his wife? Or was is it just the knowledge that it would really never work for you? Thanks so much for sharing this part of your life with me. It just really helps so much to know how other people are coping with the feelings and are picking up the pieces and moving on with their lives and finding inner peace and happiness.
-------------------------------------------------
Me BS 51
WW 47
married 24 years
Son 22, Daughter 20
D-Day #1 1980
D-Day #2 1981
D-Day #3 1987
D-Day #4 April 2003
Plan B 6/1/03
Asked WS to move out
Filing for divorce end of June 03

Thanks Aly, I am starting to feel I am not alone because my of my friends old and new like you.

Your advice about not getting involved with another woman is right on for sure. I really can't imagine my WW "getting it" after all the affairs and emotional abuse the last 6 months. I have already been thinking about the possibilty of meeting other women but it seems to be for the wrong reasons. I feel lonely and fear being alone for the rest of my life, not having someone to talk to or care about or care about me. But if I proceed on that basis I think too many of my old habits and junk would end up in a new relationship and I want anything new to be completely different than what I had. I want it to be totally open and honest and knowing that it has to be worked on and selfless to a point.

Jo
-------------------------------------------------
Me BS 51
WW 47
married 24 years
Son 22, Daughter 20
D-Day #1 1980
D-Day #2 1981
D-Day #3 1987
D-Day #4 April 2003
Plan B 6/1/03
Asked WS to move out
Filing for divorce end of June 03

Joquin,
I'm glad that somehow I've been able to give you some insight into your WW. If through my own misery I can help any other person in a similar situation, then at least I can feel okay about that.

Much like your WW, as you mentioned, lifelong friends tended to support me. Not all of them though.

Here's what I learned about the communicative thing, really. In the end, it's true when they say "Talk is cheap." OM talked a lot, but he never showed me love the way exH did. He also said insulting things. I thought I needed more conversation, and really, in the end his over-talkativeness was annoying. (Talk about poetic justice..the old saying. "Be careful what you wish for")

Don't blame yourself. You said, </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> How could I have been so uncaring and stupid and not realize what I was doing damaging our relationship? </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">For one thing, no one's perfect. YOu are who you are, and I'm sure you were quiet when she married you. For years I'd accepted exH's quiet ways. The problem started when he worked nights, and I was getting on the internet IMing with people. The curiosity to meet OM was overwhelming. I never would have said in person the things I told this complete stranger over the internet. So it wasn't his quietness that led to the affair. It was a combination of things, but most of all it was my own crazy selfishness. Again, don't blame yourself. You were simply being you, and instead of her working on things with you, she turned to someone else. I made the same dumb mistake.

So I ended my affair as I saw that I'd lost so much. I truly loved my exH, not OM. I also learned that OM didn't have the traits I wanted in a marriage or man. My exH did. OM was controlling, domineering, a bit lazy, and also a bit too blunt with everyone. He was downright insulting at times towards me. I'd fallen in love with a fantasy, not the man who he truly was.

OM did leave his wife and move locally. His wife had filed for divorce before my husband did, and OM lived in a spare room for a year after she filed before he ended up moving here. However, he refused to call her in front of me and ask what the status of their divorce was. I'd asked him to do this for six months, every month, before I ended it. He also refused to hire an attorney to handle it. I could see that he was stringing me along, so to speak. I was near the final days of my divorce, and he refused to call the woman in front of me. On top of all this, I began to suspect that he was heavily looking into internet porn and singles websites. I'm no dummy, and he seemed to think he could fool me. Once he said he'd looked at a woman's picture on a singles website (I found it saved on his computer)just to see if she was pretty, as she'd said she was. Again, I'd think about myself.."You fool. You left a very nice man to be with a rat like this. He's already setting up his next conquest." The day before I broke up with him I'd caught him in a huge lie. He said he was just 'joking' with me. Finally, after knowing him better I found him to be immature, and also I found out he'd had a few other affairs. He'd also had many female friends and needed constant attention from women everywhere. He flirted in front of me shamelessly. I was eight years younger than him, and looked even younger---and I wouldn't put up with this at all.

So you're right. All these things told me it would never work for me. One more story, if I may. OM was different than my exH in that exH could repair anything and was masculine in the way he got things done. OM was a bit of a 'sissy'. One time we got locked out, and I had to climb the ladder and go through a window. FOr someone like me, this was very odd. I had a dad who never would have had my mom do this, nor would my exH. Another time we rented a truck to move some stuff. He said, "YOu'll drive it, right." No way would I drive a truck, unless I had to. Finally, he even refused to drive his car, or clean it. It was a mess. I had to drive everywhere. YOu can see now why I ended this relationship. TAlk is cheap!!!

I know I went on far too long here. I guess it's stuff I haven't thought about much, and forgive the length of it. As I look back now and read what I went through, I see what a complete fool I was.

YOur wife is probably really into a romantic fantasy, especially if it's someone she knew years ago. PErhaps she's trying to recapture her youth. Has he left his wife yet?

Joquin, I think you should still treat her well, as it sounds like you still love her. I think someday she may wake up and see what she's lost. IN the meantime, take care of you. She may find out, as I did, that OM wasn't what I thought he was at all. I was with him for quite a while before that happened. The nicer you are to her, the better you will look to her. My exH was very nice to me, all things considered, UNTIL he knew that I wanted to reconcile. Then he withdrew, perhaps due to self-protection.

Hang in there, things will be better down the road no matter what happens. You're right, it helps to know that we're not alone in all this.

H_P

H_P

I did'nt think your post was over long at all. You are very good at expressing in detail what you went through and felt. This is important. It's the experience of doing what you did and then the realization of how wrong it was and what you did to change. That is what I keep hoping for WW.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> YOur wife is probably really into a romantic fantasy, especially if it's someone she knew years ago. PErhaps she's trying to recapture her youth. Has he left his wife yet? </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Yes quite a fantasy I think after quiet me for so long. No I don't think OM has left his wife yet. OM's wife is 10 years older than he is. My WW is 4 years younger than OM is and she is beautiful so you can see where he is coming from. OM and wife own a big well known business together and it would be messy for them to get a D but who knows what'll happen.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Joquin, I think you should still treat her well, as it sounds like you still love her. I think someday she may wake up and see what she's lost. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">This is very hard to do now. I feel such anger towards the way she has treated me. I will probably always love her to some degree. Two great kids and 24 years of life together. Breaking up was never anything that I would have initiated before her current affair and inability to get out of the fog.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> IN the meantime, take care of you. She may find out, as I did, that OM wasn't what I thought he was at all. I was with him for quite a while before that happened. The nicer you are to her, the better you will look to her. My exH was very nice to me, all things considered, UNTIL he knew that I wanted to reconcile. Then he withdrew, perhaps due to self-protection. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I am most definately taking care of me. It is a strange feeling though. Like I'm being selfish. You say again to be nice to her and that I will look better to her. I was so nice to her for 2 months after D-Day and was emotionally battered by her ongoing A and lies about it. It was cruel. I know revenge and outright hostility are not good for me so I have no contact except email. Even that is tuff not to get vindictive. I think I'll take a break from emails for awhile and just go dark.

jo

<small>[ June 21, 2003, 08:55 PM: Message edited by: Joquin1 ]</small>

I'm trying to make everything as amicable as possible and get this over with. If the divorce is uncontested how long does it usually take to go through?
-------------------------------------------------
Me BS 51
WW 47
married 24 years
Son 22, Daughter 20
D-Day #1 1980
D-Day #2 1981
D-Day #3 1987
D-Day #4 April 2003
Plan B 6/1/03
Asked WS to move out
Filing for divorce end of June 03.

Depends on the laws of the state where you file.
In a few states, it can happen in 60 days. Others you have to be separated for a year before you can even file.

Checked out the laws here and it's 60 days, if there are no minor children involved and all the details of asset division are worked out. Viola divorce in 61 days. How could it be possible to go from life trauma of loosing the love of my life to seeing that she's an habitual cheater and probably always will be to an aniticipated date of freedom from it all. Unreal.
-------------------------------------------------
Me BS 51
WW 47
married 24 years
Son 22, Daughter 20
D-Day #1 1980
D-Day #2 1981
D-Day #3 1987
D-Day #4 April 2003
Plan B 6/1/03
Asked WS to move out
Filing for divorce end of June 03.

<small>[ June 25, 2003, 10:06 PM: Message edited by: Joquin1 ]</small>

Hi-- I'm in a similar boat. Last Wed my H finally laid it out clearly, that he wants out. (we'd been doing MC since March).

We're going with an uncontested divorce. He is filing (I want him to own his decision) but I will not fight it. We've already talked about the settlement issues, and seem to be in agreement. I think we'll be divorced by the end of July. It's very odd, in a way, that you can be divorced so quickly. All signs are that ours will be amicable, I sure hope it stays that way. I don't want to have to fight.

I have not been successful finding a divorce support group. There was one, but they are not meeting over the summer, will start back in Sept. Well, I really could use support NOW while I'm all raw and bleeding!

At any rate, I'm sorry for what you are going through, and I can relate, as I'm doing the same thing. Now that I accept it's inevitable, I want to get it done asap.

The part that scares me, is what to do afterwards? I feel kind of old to try to rebuild a life, and I'm used to being part of "we". I am not very outgoing... and will not find it easy to meet folks.

Joquin1,
I have been married 25 years and with my husband for almost 30 - we married very young. Last year my ys left the house and he started an e/a with a young co-worker - he never got over it. He is now living with his parents and I am in the home. It was like he was waiting for the kids to be gone to dump me. I am so sad and feel very alone - but am getting stronger every day.
It seems to be harder since we have been together so long and I thought my life was set. Just wanted you to know there are quite a few of us out there. Take care.
TTHO

Sorry to hear about your situation Joquin1.

Your situation is quite similar to mine in several instances (W several affairs from fairly early on, a few revealed to me over a period of years, don't think I will ever know about them all)and quite different in a few - I'll spare the details as it is quite complicated. We are slightly older, married slightly longer, kids grown. It gets very tough waking up everyday and asking yourself "Who is this other person?" Certainly no one I thought I knew. So many lies. No trust left at all. After months of thought and much counselling, I will finally separate and file for divorce as soon as possible. I wish it wasn't this way. Counsellors/doctor questioned in the past and currently why I hung in these many years and advised me not to. I had my reasons but it sure affected my mental and physical health - now improving. I will continue for a while with the counselling and medical support.

I am fairly concerned about the future (mainly kids reactions), but finally concluded it would even be better to end up completely alone, if it ends up that way, than continue this painful charade. Its going to be a very tough next few weeks and months but will also lift a huge weight off. I am determined to get through this.

So there are others with similar situations. I'm not sure it really helps to hear similar stories but very much can appreciate your situation. Hang in there.

How could this be happening, I don't understand. WW never seems to want to be married to me, many affairs. Affair since December 02, she shuts me out. Now that I want a divorce and am willing to be amicable she STALLS. "I want to think about and absorb your ideas on asset division etc. I can't believe it. She emotional torutures me and now won't LET ME GO!. What's going on?
-------------------------------------------------
Me BS 51
WW 47
married 24 years
Son 22, Daughter 20
D-Day #1 1980
D-Day #2 1981
D-Day #3 1987
D-Day #4 April 2003
Plan B 6/1/03
Asked WS to move out
Filing for divorce end of June 03.

Joquin,
She's in the 'fog'. Maybe she's starting to realize what she's going to lose. IT's A LOT!

You forgave her other affairs way back, right? Now she sees that you've had enough.

I clearly feel that someone needs to hit rock bottom, at times, before they wake up. She may be more or less nearing this point, but she's nowhere near there yet.

I wish I had advice, but I don't. That's just how I see her behavior now.

H_P

H_P,

I think you may be right. She's acting very strangly. I did ask her point blank, just for old times sake if she's going to make a go of with OM, married of course, she likes that kind, two peas in a pod I guess, and she said yes. But not right away. Duh.. think she'd want to get this over with. Mush brains. Please, I need peace in my life.
-------------------------------------------------
Me BS 51
WW 47
married 24 years
Son 22, Daughter 20
D-Day #1 1980
D-Day #2 1981
D-Day #3 1987
D-Day #4 April 2003
Plan B 6/1/03
Asked WS to move out
Filing for divorce end of June 03.