My YD left Sunday morning with my parents to meet up with her dad, for her first visit. I didn't cry when she left!! I was proud of me, I know that this visit is something that has to happen.

My S moved out Sat. finally!! Am not pleased that he moved in with his girldriend, I have a real problem with people living together, he knows this and we talked about it a little, he said that he was amazed that I was as calm as I was, Thanks to things that I learned here at MB!!! Said that I did not approve but that he would have to make his own decisions, and that he would have to work it out with God, to look in the bible and see what it says there in regards to living together without marriage. In no way is he ready to married!!!

My OD has been around alot more this week after work and stuff.

I've had been busy the last 3 weeks helping a disabled friend paint a house and garage and VBS at church. This week, I have been working on crafts for a new shop that I signed a contract with, so have been busy but have been home!!! Kind of bumming, it's been real cool here and rainy all day today, amazing how the weather can get you down!!!

Talked with YD tonight said that things are ok, but she is going to tell me that. I am a little miffed tho as her stepmom took the day off yesterday and took her to the movie, mmmmmmm trying to buy her way in!!! I was hurt! I won't say anything to D about the step mom as she needs to do this on her own and form her own opinions.

Seen my guy friend at church on Sunday and blew a chance, so perhaps that just isn't meant to be!!!

Must find something to do this weekend so that I am not bumming around here all weekend long!! My house is so quite with just me in it!!!

Take care all,
Dawn <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

<small>[ June 24, 2003, 10:48 PM: Message edited by: daybreak ]</small>

Dawn - you saw the guy at church but you haven't blown anything - talk to him !!! Ask him to a movie or something - very platonic - just something to do this weekend so you are not hanging around the house all day by yourself....I am glad you didn't say anythihg about the stepmother you are right - she does have to form her own opinions - and I am thinking that if she has to be in her life - it would probably be easier on all of you if they got along - I know that will kill you - but I am thinking in the long run it will be better - just remember you are her only mother and no one can take your place - but as for the man in church - take a chance.... I hope the sun is shining now...

I know how you feel!

I was alone here for two weeks while my children travelled with their dad. Actually, I did have extended family stay with me for three of those days, but it was odd being alone.

It sounds like you're keeping busy. I am too.

Still hoping you get up the nerve to talk to the man at church!

H_P

The sun is out but is still cool!!!

Have been working on mini signboards all morning, they are so inspirational.

Sorrow looks back,
worry looks around,
faith looks up,

He who angers you,
controls you!

1 cross
3 nails
4 given

Have a great day for it is what the Lord wants!

Time spent teaching is time never lost!

God grades on the cross not the curve.

Just a few of the boards that I have been working on today!!

I am thinking of what to say to the church guy, so I will be ready this week!!! Have plans to go see a water ski show on Saturday night!!!

Dawn <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Hey Dawn,

Yep--those first few times alone can be killers. Especially when the weather isn't good.

I am starting finally to look forward to a few days to myself. I usually just sit and do nothing the first day and night. Sometimes I even take the phone off the hook. The quiet is great. I usually try to get a good night's sleep--and then I get busy with a house project.

It is still unsettling with the kids at their apt. I hate it--that probably won't ever change. I am doing better at trying not to think about it much tho. I am even doing better on not asking what they do while they are there. (That's tough for me.)

Anyway, I think you are doing a good job with your kids. I am struggling with a lot of issues with my oldest daughter also--wish she wouldn't make some of the decisions she has chosen either. Guess they have to learn by themselves--would love to save them from some of the heartache--but at this point there is not much we can do except advise when asked.

My ex is spiraling downhill quickly. He just got back from his family anniversary gathering in Maine. None of my kids went--the only ones that didn't attend. He called my oldest daughter yesterday about 5 times. Left messages that said that everyone missed my kids and that "Miss Leslie taped the whole thing". Yuck. He said he really needed to talk to my oldest daughter--he left messages 5 times yesterday. When I got home from my son's baseball game the house was full of kids--she had got the messages and hadn't called. She sold one of her horses the other day--somehow, my husband had been told about that.

About 11 last night I told my daughter she should call him to find out what he wanted--we both thought he wanted his Bronco back (he has been letting her use it for the last couple of months). She called and what he really wanted was to borrow money from her--he said for just a couple of days--so that he can make his child support!!!!!!

This whole mess is so sad....sure wish things were different. I spoke to him this morning and said that my daughter shouldn't lend him the money. Of course he was irrate. I told him that she would need every penny for college--and maybe he should have asked his family. He told me he wouldn't do that--and then hung up the phone. It did not go well.

I do feel sorry for him--if only he hadn't made the choices he has.

Without child support--I may have to get out of my house. That would be a loss for all of us. I will have to put my faith in God for this one--we need a miracle.

Take care Dawn! Pat

Well Pat, I am sorry that your X is still a [censored]!!! Borrowing from your oldest to pay child support!!! That is just stupid, how did he think he would get away with that? It just blows my mind sometimes.

I know that I am doing way better then x is, and he hasn't retired yet!!! Lots more money for us then!!!! He just found out that he can stay for 30 and I am sure he will so that I won't get the retirement, alimony and child support.

I am having OD call YD tonight to check on her, she will tell her if anything is up before she would tell me.

It is so hard to watch our kids make some of the mistakes they do when if they would've only listend they would have been saved the heartache!!! But I have learned that natural consequences are such a better teacher then I am!!!

Went and worked out at curves, tanned and bowled tonight, so have been busy. YD will call or IM me at 9, so should get going!!! Take care Pat!!!

Dawn <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

HUGS to you daybreak! and to mnm!

YOU BOTH sound really good. Taking charge of your life and living! I know you have sad times... but I wanted you to know that the overall tenor of your posts is one of GROWTH!

stay strong!

Cali

Thanks Cali, I do feel good!!! I feel strong!! I can do anything I set my mind to!!!

Would you e mail me, I have a gift for your new house. notinsd2001@yahoo.com

Dawn <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Hi Dawn
Just checking in..havent been here in so long. I dont know if that is good or not.

You sound like you are doing good!!!Let us know how your weekend was...and did you talk to guy at church???

Smiles,
Dawn

Hey Dawn,

Haved missed you!! I know that this is marriage builders and this the the divorce forum, but I like the friends I 've made here and I miss not talking with them in this manner and finding out what is up with their lives and such!! Kind of like the christmas cards we send out once a year!!!

I did talk to church guy this morning!!! I was going to be early for fellowship and as I got out of car, church guy was walking towards me with a cup of coffee, said I was late!!! And asked how I was. That was pretty much the jest of it all, I see this taking a very long time!!!!

Another single friend and I were goofing around this morning and wanted to see the list of those going on the Big Horn triip to see if we still wanted to go, cause if there weren't going to be any hot guys we might change our minds!!! Vicar said, I don't know if church guy is going or not I should ask him and my friend just starts cracking up, so I guess things are out of the bag now!!! As this Vicar doesn't know how to keep his mouth shut!!!

I had a good weekend went to ski show and went bar hopping with friend, pretty fun to do, drink water and watch the drunks!!! Pretty cheap too!!! Had dinner with my folks and my friend out on the deck, very nice evening!!!

How are things going for you? Give us an update!!!

Take care,
Dawn <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Ladies,

I just popped in to say "Hi!" I only check in every week or so these days. I hardly know anyone any more.

Anyway, I think of you quite often. I know that as time passes the pain will diminish and you will be stronger and stronger, but goodness, what a terrible ordeal to go through to gain strentgth. {{Hugs}}

I got back a few hours ago from Albuquerque, a visit with S and GS. I love those guys so much.
S is going to have to sell his new house because he cannot deal with the payments and upkeep and still make CS payments. It is so sad. Ex DIL is supposedly engaged to OM#2 and was able to buy a new house with S's CS payments. It's very depressing to see him continue suffer, but in time, he will be stronger like you.

A thunderstorm is approaching and since I lost a computer three weeks ago from lightning, I must sign off and unplug.

Bye for now. Take care,
Estes

well..sounds like vicar will speed things up! LOL

find me on AOL instant messenger..... dkmarro

hope to chat with you
smiles,
Dawn

Hi Dawn, Glad to hear you are doing so well! Hopefully your son will make out OK in his new home. It is so hard when your kids make decisions that are so opposite from your belief system! All we can do as parents is guide them the best we can and be there when they need us. Your youngest daughter sounds like my middle one. She will do anything to please her dad. Even if she doesn't enjoy being there, she will make herself go to his house and endure the tirades. Hopefully, your daughter will be able to talk to you about the good and bad stuff. Trust me it is really awful to hear both!!

I know just how you are feeling too. My kids are all at STBX's house w/ OW and her kids. Actually, there have been some major issues we have been trying to deal with. H doesn't spend any time w/ our kids alone. They might watch a movie together, but ALL of them watch it together. No quality time is spent w/ just them. My son, especially, is being hurt by this. He does't want to go there anymore as OW because of that and because OW likes to swear at him and about him (usually the "F" word). He has had it. So I had to call my H and tell him son wouldn't be coming there and if he wanted to see him he had to step up to the plate and make arrangements to take him to the movies, play miniature golf or something. He is 17 and can make the decision not to go there, so if H doesn't take the initiative, he is going to lose the relationship all together. It took him two days but he finally talked to my son and they are going to the movies today.

Hope you don't mind the mini-update here! Didnt' mean to go into so much! Take care Dawn! Keep up your strength and good luck with your new crafts contract!! I think that it is so awesome and the plagues you are creating sound wonderful! Maybe the Vicar can do some matchmaking!!
BH