It appears that our kids will have to be involved during the our final hearing for our divorce. Any experiences preparing kids for talking with the judge about custody issues? No, I'm not looking to coach the kids. Rather, how do we break the news to them? What do we tell them about what they are gong to talk with the judge about?

We've already been through this once with the court ordered custody evaluator (a psychologist) and the kids told me they didn't want to do that again. Now my STBXW is requesting that they testify in court. Actually that means they sit alone in chambers with the judge, no records of any kind.

I am so angry that their mom is making them do this, especially when it involves pulling one of them out of camp to testify. My STBXW says that we should just tell the kids that this is their opportunity to tell the judge which parent they want to live with and and how often they want to visit the other parent. I can't believe she's making them do this.

I really want my STBXW to be the one to break this news to the kids and to tell them that it was her idea to have them sit with the judge and be pulled out of camp and away from their friends for part of a day. I have a feeling that she won't do this though.

Thanks for any advice. The kids are the oldest of ours, 13 and 10. Thankfully, she's not requesting the youngest do the same thing.

HoFS

<small>[ June 25, 2003, 03:10 PM: Message edited by: HofFenceSitter ]</small>

My FMM's son had to talk w/ judge in chambers also. He is 11. We did not get a chance to tell him before hand as we were unable to talk to him. It was filmed. The judge was very nice. He let FMM's son sit behind his desk. He really didn't interrogate him. He just asked him to talk of his favorite times he had spent w/ his daddy. He then would ask "and that was when"? Basically it established to the judge's satisfaction that FMM had always visited and been a part of his son's life. We had to do this as the child's mother was stating FMM had not bonded w/ his son. Needless to say the judge chewed her out and we have visitation. However, she is cutrrently in Contempt of the last order and we go to court again on July 22.

Good luck to you and your kids. It is a shame she is making them testify. Are you going for physical custody or joint? The judges are very careful not to intimidate the kids, so don't worry too much. I'd just explain that there is a nice man that wants to talk w/ them and leave it at that. tew

I agree, just tell them that he wants to talk to them. I would not tell them he wants to know which parent they want to live with. I cannot say from experience, I have heard that asking children to choose is very stressful on them, regardless of their age.

Tell them how sorry you are that they had to be pulled out of camp for this, but you did not have any say in this.