My WH has asked me to move out. He says he doesn't feel anything towards me and he doesn't think he ever will. Should we get a legal seperation? I'm not sure how all this works. I am hoping that he will change his mind but I also would like to protect myself and my kids. We own a business together of which I legally own half. As of right now we are still friends but I don't know what the future holds for us, especially if he ends up with the OW. I don't know how I'll feel. I'm in total shock right now so sorry if this makes no sense. I could just really use some advice. Thanks.

Do not move out under any circumstances!

Don't suggest that he do it, but simply that you do not feel separaton would be helpful at all (it isn't helpful.)

Also, you do have a very young child and it would only put more pressure on you to have a new place to live.

you do need to protect yourself..
seeing as he has OW in his life
and he has stated he doesn't feel anything for you.
If he leaves then lock the doors change the locks..do not let him back till he leaves other women or breaks it off..or he will continue to play the head game.

your kids are so young..please take care of them and also you..it sounds like your in for a rough ride..this should be a time of bonding with you and the children they are soo young

Is there a way to split what is in the checking and savings now..he will not consult you when he cleans them out..
maybe go and take half..now open your own account..because when they do it..they will wipe it out totally.

if he has ow then you DO need to protect yourself and file for legal separation with maintnance support for you and the children..first thing to do is make sure you will not end up on the street.
so get a lawyer from legal aid you might qualify if you have no income of your own..but..do not wait on this one..my husband moved on this one real fast..

get a temporay order stating you remain in the home..and he continues to pay as he has historically been doing..
I had no kids and the judge had him do that..so I know it can be done..

actually some of these things are not expensive if you know what to tell your lawyer you need right now..
then just sit and wait on what he does..

if he moves out do not let him back in till he has no contact with her..tell him he cannot have the both of you..otherwise you will make yourself sick..I think the best thing for you to do..is
get a legal separation custody of the kids..and spousal maintnace he is not a good parent he is fornicating and would not be able to take care of the children he probably has no parenting skills..

please get a lawyer to advise you so you are safe financially because if you think he won't screw you over..he already has..by getting another women..
I will pray for you..get a lawyer..monday..
also call the bank and see how much money is in all the accounts.. and watch them alert the bank..that you are having marriage problems and ask them to alert you if he makes any large cash witdrals because once he takes his name off the account he makes it that you will be responsible for out standing debt..and could go t o jail...do not trust him to do that right thing because he won't..hugsssss <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

alicia,
Sorry to hear what you're going through. DO NOT move out of the house. If he wants to leave, let him, but right now, while you're both sharing the house, there are more opportunities to work on your marriage (and work on yourself while he is there to notice).

The legal separation and divorce laws vary from state to state. I suggest that you do some homework, checking online at these sites:
Divorce Info Divorce Source and Divorce Net (hopefully links provided)

By looking at these sites, and even privately contacting a lawyer (to see what your options are, not to initiate anything) it does NOT mean you are promoting or wanting a divorce. It means you are wanting to educate yourself so you can make sound, rational decisions, which are difficult to do when one is in a personal crisis of this nature. I'm sure your emotions and hormones are still on a roller coaster from childbirth.

With young children and a business, you have extra things to be looking out for. So those are my suggestions - don't move, read up on your state's laws, and contact a lawyer without telling your husband. Keep us posted as to what's going on and how you're doing! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

<small>[ June 28, 2003, 09:21 AM: Message edited by: avondale25 ]</small>