The wife and i are splitting up , I stopped sleeping in our room about 4 weeks ago, since then she has allowed our 7 yr old daughter to sleep in bed with her and she's moved all the childs Barbies into the bed room, this woman allowed her son to sleep with her when he was young and it was hard to get them to stop, I have a big problem with kids her age sleeping in an adult's bed unless they are sick, my wife thinks nothing of it, I think my daughrer should be sleeping in her own room, my wife ruined her son by babying him, i dont want my daughter regressing now that we are seperated. any thoughts or experiences with this type of issue??

Your marriage is falling apart. Certainly, it has to be affecting your daughter in more ways than you can possibly imagine. Right now, this would NOT concern me because your daughter needs comforting, too.

My Wh no longer lives in our home because he refuses to cut off contact w/ OW. On a daily basis, I see the negative affect that my WH's absence has on our 20 month old son. Our previously happy go lucky little boy is now biting, hitting, refusing to share with and snatching toys away from the other kids at daycare, throwing tantrums, etc. The other morning, he was walking around repeatedly saying, "Dada, where are you?" When I dressed him for daycare, he looked up at me and said, "Dada go bye bye." Do you have any idea how heartbreaking that was for me to hear?

I commend your wife for nurturing your daughter and making her safe and secure during this time of turmoil and upheaval.

<small>[ June 26, 2003, 02:50 PM: Message edited by: Brit's Brat ]</small>

No. This is you being nitpicky. Let it go. Children need their parents and sometimes vice versa.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> my wife ruined her son by babying him </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">How did she "ruin" him? I think you may be exagerating a bit. I don't find anything wrong with this. I think your wife is just being a mother. There's nothing wrong with that.

Two nights ago H told the boys we were getting a divorce. Last night my youngest needed comforting with all of his emotions. Needless to say both of the boys slept in my room last night. Your W is being a mother and recognizing the childrens needs...to know that they are still loved, it is not their fault and they are important.

I agree, you are being too picky,

All three of my children have slept with H and I at some point or another. Our oldest (9), sometimes comes in our room in the middle of the night wanting comforting. Over time, he gradually wanted to sleep in his own bed, the moments he sleeps with us is very rare now. Usually when he has a nightmare. He is not a baby. I would never call him a baby, and he is not ruined.

I have a good friend who's oldest spent most of his first 5 years sleeping with her, I would not call him a baby. He is a grown adult, who is secure in who is he.

Some cultures, a child sleeps with the mother or both parents until the child reaches age 5. If another child is born before that child reaches age 5, then the older child either sleep with both mother and new child or the older child sleeps with another adult family member or much older sibling.

I read somewhere that seperating children from the mother at bedtime is a culture that is typically followed by western type civilizations. (I don't recall where I read it).

My theory is, if my children are still sleeping with me on a regular basis by the time they are 13, then I need to put a stop to it.

I don't think there is anything wrong with it..
now if your daughter was sleeping alone with
YOU that would be another story..

but most kids in times past all slept in the same bed..bathed together..(today getting back to that by hot tubs..)

but there are some places where people cannot afford the luxury of a home with more then one bedroom and all sleep together..

but then they are loving and have bible reading and teach their children about God..while they have only a bible no tv nor radio..
and that is even in america..think about that one.

anyway when I was little I thought it was weird I couldn't sleep with mom..when daddy did..I slept alone and it got scarey sometimes..
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> I STILL remember wanting mom as bad as she treated us..was all I knew..
everyone had someone to sleep with except me..

I thought that was not fair. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

I am curious, I have two daughters, twin 10 year olds. Me and my wife are divorced. While married they very seldom slept with us. Now that we are divorced one of my daughters sleeps with me at least one night of the week while she is with me. I don't think this is normal so I've gotten them TV's for there rooms so they can watch TV and fall asleep. So is this normal or not for a 10 year old girl?

Thanks for all your replies, although i'm concerned i was not going to make a fuss over it,There is no fighting going on in the house, but there is clear division, I dont go places with my wife anymore and i dont answer to her,my daughter has not been told her world will soon change,I've made it a mission to end this in peace and without fighting and arguing,I'm hoping the slow and easy pace of all the changes will make it easier for my daughter to deal with.My wife is still her nasty, spitefull, depressed miserable self,NOW she refuses to lift a finger in the house, she selected two bath towels for her self and I wash all the rest and clean the house because she refuses to, I cook for my kids every night, most nights she eats out, i offer to cook for her also but she refuses,kids make a lot of dishes, and she refuses to help out,if the wife makes dishes she pushes anything she didnt use aside and only does hers,when i do dishes i just do them all, I dont understand how someone can be so spitefull and not care about their home and its neatness even if things are going down hill, why allow it all to crumble into a pig sty?? Her bitterness no doubt is sending a bad message to our daughter, My thing was i wanted our daughter to take our divorce as a new beginning instead of a life altering disaster, because honestly the life she's losing wasnt normal, happy or productive, I know without my wife and her son and all their mental issues my daughter would have a more normal and happy home environment, I would not have brought a new puppy into my house because it was so disfunctional.I dont want my daughter to grow up like this. I'm fighting with all i have for SHARED custody so my daughter gets to live with sane people at least some of the time. I had my wife's son removed from our home for violating parole and I'm pushing to NEVER allow him to live under the same roof with my daughter again,he has mental issues that are being hidden from his case workers by him and his mom, and the kids father has mental problems, his dad is in jail for molesting HIS 8 yr old daughter, his son is just like him, I DO NOT WANT MY 7 yr old to be his first victom. I really have my hands full with all these nut cases.
My wife passed HEr depression on to her son, this was confirmed by a professional, and i'm scared she will do the same to my daughter, thats why i'm concerned about her clinging to my daughter so tight, BEFORE it was anounce the marriage was done my daughter spent a lot more time with me, now my wife does all she can to keep my daughter under her wing,I clearly see and know why, I dont make a fuss and just roll with it, but i dont like it, my daughter has a good bond with me, my wife was always envious of it and she always brought it up. I'm not forcing my D to "pick sides" and I fear that my wive has plans to make that her next mission, i sure hope she's not that desperate.