So, I thought I'd post an update here. Some interesting things have happened.
- I always suspected it, but she finally admitted that there was more than just the one A that I knew about. She wouldn't go into details. I don't think she intended to admit it. When she realized she had, she started cussing at me and I hung up.
- Dating again and trying to be social "that way" again is challenging. A good friend of mine has been encouraging me to be a bit more risky and ask people out, etc... with mixed results.
- It finally stopped raining in Maryland. Yay! All mid-atlantic peoples rejoice.
- I'm particularly struggling with the distinctions some people make between exclusive and non-exclusive dating. Discussed, it makes good sense... in practice, it doesn't really work for me. I'm so paranoid about becoming an OM even in just dating... that once I find out about another boyfriend (and this has happened once) I just drop from the scene ninja style and dissappear.
- Not much else is going on. LOL.

The multi-A confirmation is pretty meaningless at this point too. It was something I was like 90% certain about and had already accepted as truth in spite of repeated denials.

Lyxa,

I wouldn't worry about whether or not there were 1 or many A's. Bottom line this, and just accept that the relationship is over. If you continue to dwell on it, it will bring you down.

I've also found that dating is challenging. I'm trying to find out where to even meet people. It's not so easy anymore, as last time I was single, I was in college and there were girls everywhere. I'm very picky by nature, and I usually hesitate before making moves.

Can definitely relate on the exclusive vs. non-exclusive dating thing. I think that a lot of people are not confident with themselves and they need another relationship lined up before they will exit the one they are currently in. These kind of people should probably be avoided anyways.

To be honest, I sort of enjoy being single right now. While I do miss the frequent companionship, it is nice to not have to report to anyone and be able to do what I want, whenever I want. I'm happier now than I was in well over a year, and life is very enjoyable right now.

My viewpoint on a lot of things has changed. Being alone has its advantages, and being "attached" has its advantages too. Most people associate being alone as the worst possible thing, but it is a lot better than being in a bad relationship.

L,
You don't seem to be ready for any kind of dating.
Exclusive or non. Someday, you won't care what she says or does. When that day comes you will be ready to move forward with other people.
I wish you could let go, even just for a while, to your cloud of doom. Let your hair down and stop second guessing yourself.
Fun is out there. You are young and deserve to have a good time.
Have a great trip. You know where I am. I will always be your friend.

love ya, Aly

I feel your pain Lyxa.

After dealing with 3 years of poo, it seems we need some down time I think.

I am wanting to date, really, but know that I am not ready because I have some more healing to do and other more pressing matters on my plate...job...moving...son...transition...

I understand how you feel with her telling of new boyfriends and her perceived need to "confess". However, I don't want anything to do whatsoever with JEthro as he is now.

Now if he and God have a good long talk and some changes take place, maybe. But Jehtro has to stand in line...There's gonna be a long, long line of good guys out there for me and a terribly long line of girls out there for you. Good ones are hard to come by.

Don't sweat it. When the time comes, we'll know it. Just keep on working on you. That's what I am doing. And trying to rediscover the old Peach inside of me that's laid dormant for almost a decade.