Five months ago, my WW had affair and wanted a divorce so fast from me that I did not get a chance to blink. Now, I try and have her call my lawyerand she does not seem too much in a hurry in getting that done. why is she just taking her time for this to be final. We both agree to everything and all she has to do is get a hold of my lawyer to confirm it.

We talked a few times last week and it sounds like things are not rosey as it use to be, yet when I ask her what's bugging her, she would tell me, she says that she will work it out on her own. Is this one of her depression moods, she has done it a couple times, only to have me fooled into thinking that she indeed regrets doing what she did.

AAA

I don't know why they do this. Mine did the same thing. She was actually upset that she had to wait 60 days for the law. Then after a couple months, she just quite doing anything. Finally, I started writing on this board, that I know that she reads, that I was going to push it through. That finally got her moving. Then when we finally got the final papers completed 10 months after her filing. Come to find out, she had not even gone to the 'Child Cope with Divorce' lecture that we were to go to within 30 days of filing. So not only did my boys not have the benefit of her learning anything about what to do with them, but the final signing got put off another month or so until she finally got her act together and went to the lecture. We were REQUIRED to have gone withing 30 days, and she knew because she brought the filing papers to me along with a pamphlet about the lecture the day she filed.

I never wanted it, but I decided that I didn't want the limbo that I was living in. I had been working on things with my counselor and we both thought that the waiting was detrimental. My ex, being the type of person who lived by the creed "Do unto others before they have a chance to do it to you." Finally decided to get things moving again.

But in the beginning, had there been a vending machine with divorces inside, she would have been shoving quarters into it faster than she could drop her pants for one of her bar 'friends'.

Heh heh heh... couldn't think of anything else that would happen quickly.....

Who knows why WSs do anything. I think that the least knowledgeable person concerning their behavior is that person who has such low moral character that they can repeatedly do this. They are selfish and believe that there is nothing wrong with their behavior. Or maybe they do see something wrong, but want to have it 'done' so they don't have to think about it. I don't know. I wish I did, because I would have it on a web page in big bold letters.

Mine was intitially running from herself I believe. She wanted it done so she could 'live her life' God didn't want her to be 'unhappy' therefore, she had to get going on "God's will"... heh heh heh... I have thought so much about her saying this. Among everything else... this was one of the most telling things about her character. Blaming God for her actions. Relieving her responsibility for her choices and saying essentially "This is what God wants for me."

<small>[ July 06, 2003, 10:24 PM: Message edited by: Formerly Confused ]</small>

As long as she is married to you there is a possibility that you would take her back if she finds that she cannot replace you with a new stud.

HI, I'm really sorry for what you're going through. I don't know if it makes it easier knowing there are others going through the same thing, or if it just makes it sadder to think there are so many hurt people in the world. My husband left me for someone he met in a chat room. This is the second time. You'd think it gets to be less shocking, but it doesn't. Anyway, he's calling me again. Wants to work things out. She doesn't know he's calling. He's living with her in Canada. She's 7 years older than he is. I think he's only calling because he's not that impressed with what he found when he got there. He knows I still love him, so he knows what to say to make me feel bad if I say I don't think I can do this again. So, I guess it's not only us women that are mixed up. Hope your life works out well.

AAA
Don't usually post in this forum, but boy would I like to see a good answer to this question. My WW was asking for at least a legal seperation two and three times a week (she wanted an annulment but I told her she would have to do that on her own). I finally went to a lawyer and had the papers drawn up and gave them to her. That was over eight weeks ago, and she has not signed them or mentioned them since.
Is it that the WW finally understands the full consequences of her actions? Is it that the idea of ending the M, on top of having the A, is just too much guilt? Or should we hope that they are still uncertain? There seems to be no desire on WW's part to work on our R. Yet several MBs have advised that asking could be a major LB if WW is still undecided. I would very much like to save my M so I have avoided asking WW why, but it is hard waiting for her to make her move.