I've been married to my H for almost 5 years now, and I recognize that we got married too soon. We met in August 98, engaged in Nov 98 and married in Dec 98. there were so many things I didnt know, and upon finding out, I tried to accept him anyway and chalk it up to mistakes he made in the past. It hasn't worked quite frankly and I'm just plain tired of trying. Here's the problem:

He never invites his friends to our home. NEVER, not ever. In 5 years, I think I've met about 3, yet when I ask why, he treats me like I'm intruding on his 'personal space'. Could he be cheating?

He neglects me emotionally. I'm a few weeks pregnant with our 3rd, and I recently confided in him (7/5) that I think its going to be a miscarriage. He told me that he can't afford the ER copay, so for me to "tough it out" as long as I can. YET, he tells me that when his daughter comes this summer, he's going to rent a hotel room for just the two of them. Odd, but true.

Sex is terrible. He fumbles and is not really considerate of my needs. I've mentioned this subtly a few times and progressions have been slow, but I'm so frustrated about how it is when we do - that I dont even want to have sex anymore.

He doesnt support me emotionally - at least not the way I need him to. His emotional support consists of things like "dont worry about it" or "things will get better". Nothing more than a 3 second sentence and I've tried to explain how that seems more dismissive to me than supportive. He doesn't get it.

I really dont know what to do, but I know that I don't want THIS marriage anymore. I want him, but there are so many things (acts of violence, animal killings, hitting the kids, etc.), that I don't want to spend 5 more years trying to see if this can work.

He doesnt want this baby, and the dr. has already said that I will probably miscarry because we have the RH incompatibility.

Somebody please help me. I've prayed about it, but somebody up there isnt getting the message.

-C

hi!
sorry you married someone who seems incapable of loving you and appreciating you.

I am also sorry your having problems in your pregnancy. there are places to help you. go to a shelter and ask them for advice. Doctors are set up all over to have so many patients who cannot afford to pay..and if you have insurance then talk to your doctor and ask him to waive the co-pay most will do it if you ask..they also have to..give you meds they might prescribe if you tell them you cannot afford them..and if you get them paid for through insurance..I do on some..they send me..but it takes 3 weeks sometimes up to a month to get them started to send to me..and I cannot afford the $800.00 worth of meds I am on..so he supplys me with enough till I get mine.from med supply.

there are ways so don't give up..a womens care shelter would have a list of all the things you need to know to help you..utilize them..get on the wic program and let ss know you cannot afford food or what ever other needs your husband is denying you they will provide for you and the children..

if you are in danger and the children are also then get out go to a shelter..
don't stay in a dangerous situation..

He needs some phycological councelling if he is killing animals..and hurting the children..and you.
It's important for you to do something before you get hurt or sick from carrying the baby...
I will pray for you there are women who have delivered and the babies are ok..they carry full term I have two friends who carried with what you have the RH factor..they really need to keep on top of it is all..please get the medical care you need forget what hubby says..go to the shelter..that is a form of abuse also..denying you medical treatment..your not an animal honey
your a women caught in this evil mans grip..

take the kids and go ask for help..ok? please..
and know that way you and the kids will be safe..
my mail is
earthangel@telcomplus.net

if you want you can e-mail me and I will try to get you some help..you can also go to a church or look in the phone book for bethany services..and there is listings in phone books now for crisis and they will give you information..but please do not stay in a dangerous situation.if it escalates call the police..and have him talked to by the police dept..throw him out if you have to have him removed..if need be with a talking to by the police it works sometimes..if he knows you will sign a complaint if he comes around again..ok..hugs and prayers sent your way..take care of you..BE SAFE <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

I agree with Sad Eyes - you need to take care of yourself and your pregnancy and your other children. Also, there is help for the RH incompatibility. For you to bring this baby to the world. You need to find help in this area, and a lot depends on how far the pregnancy is. It may be costly, so therefore, you may need to be under government health.

Your husband has abusive traits, and this is not a sign of a stable person. I like SADEYES said, this man is in need of personal counseling.

Look for shelter, and also, turn him in whenever there is another hitting of you or children or animals. Look out after yourself, he seems to be quite lost in a life of abuse.