Its been over a year since my divorce and my EX is still seeing the OM that was around 3wks after we seperated. Im sure they had at least an EA while I was still at home. Anyhow, Im remarried and my EX has met her and also my EXs entire family. My kids love my new wife and seem to really like my EXs man......problem is......I havent met the guy. My EX doesnt discuss anything about him or mention him or anything. The only time I hear about him is from my two young children. I dont want to press or seem aggressive, so I have only politely asked my EX to introduce us. Its been long enough now and its time I have me the guy who is around my children all the time. What do yall think???? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

Noone has advise on what I should do??? Keep saying we need to meet, or just leave them alone? Dude is around my kids. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

Startin Over - I think if he is around your kids, you have every right to meet him. My H is divorced and the agreement has always been that when the significant other begins to be brought around the child, it's time to make the intros.

This has worked for us, but we are an unusual case. Are you and the ex on good terms?

Thanks for responding......but, YES...that is the weird part. My EX and I talk about the kids all the time. My EX actually talks to my wife also. Its like she is hiding this guy from me or something. I have begun to wonder if he is still married, or is someone I know already or something??? I really could care less, because Im remarried and am very happy.

Startin over.....well, since you are all on good terms, maybe you could ask her? Hey, maybe the whole extended family (your new W, her new man, the kids) can all go to dinner together? I know, sounds odd, but it's an idea and I bet the kids would love it <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I have asked her.....that is the problem. She doesnt say anything. She says nothing. I even asked why?...........no response. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

Startinover,
Is this OM, the reason why you two divorced?

I think you are right, she should introduce you to him. Or if she doesn't want to, find a way that you can introduce yourself to him. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

If this OM is the reason why you two divorced she may be feeling guilty about the whole thing and trying to keep OM at a distance. Don't know really, just my opinion.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by STBXWife:
<strong>Startinover,
Is this OM, the reason why you two divorced?

I think you are right, she should introduce you to him. Or if she doesn't want to, find a way that you can introduce yourself to him. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

If this OM is the reason why you two divorced she may be feeling guilty about the whole thing and trying to keep OM at a distance. Don't know really, just my opinion.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Im pretty sure, but the EX denies it. When we seperated he was just a "friend" going through the same problems we were. I guess I could try and meet him, but I do not know how to run into him. He is only around my children every now and then and I do not know his last name. Its like dude is a ghost.

Startin - Would she be more willing to listen if you axplained your concerns?

As in "X, I would really like to meet JOEBLOW because the kids are around him and speak of him, and I would just feel more comfortable if I knew this man that was spending time around my children. "

I phoned her and said those exact words, and then I emailed the exact same thing to her......NO response. I guess there isnt much I can do at this point. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

Startin - Well, what more can you do? What happens when you ask her face to face? Does she just ignore you?

you do not need her cooperation (though it would be nice, and is strange she is not cooperateing). You have every right, even an obligation to know everyone who has access to your children. Since she will not cooperate, investigate yourself until you uncover the truth. If necesaary hire a PI to find out this info....my guess is he is married.

I guess I will find out today when I watch my son at basketball practice. She will be there.

you do not need her cooperation (though it would be nice, and is strange she is not cooperateing). You have every right, even an obligation to know everyone who has access to your children. Since she will not cooperate, investigate yourself until you uncover the truth. If necesaary hire a PI to find out this info....my guess is he is married. If so, inform his wife, this is a dangerous situation for your kids..do so annonymously if necessary, but do it. If he is not married, then arrange to meet him and find out what is going on.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by sufdb:
<strong>....my guess is he is married.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Good observation, I do know that she was seeing this guy while he was still married....heck both married (includes me). My EXs brother saw this guy out with his wife, the day after he went to dinner with my EX and ol dude. Anyhow, that is what Im guessing......this guy is still married and my EX is uncomfortable. What is really silly, my EX said not to bring anyone around the kids unless you are serious and plan on marrying them. Well, isnt it kinda hard to get serious with a married person??? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> Im guessiing this is the case.

I'm not sure how important it is to meet the guy. Seems like it would be a tense situation.

I have never formally introduced my ex and my boyfriend. There is a mutual hatred that would make that confrontation a bad idea. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> My kids are always around so I've asked Westley to stay back and let me deal with Humperdinck.

I have met Westley's daughter's mom; now she told him she wanted to meet me since I would be spending so much time with her daughter. I understand that. However I wasn't in the picture during her split with my boyfriend ... that was many years ago. Even then, it was a bit awkward that first time. Meeting the woman that my love had a child with, inbetween the times that we were a couple. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> Weird.