...and I'll cry if I want to....Well, cry I have and am. Today is my 3rd Anniversary and my attorney is filing a Petition for Dissolution of Marriage today - ironic, huh? STBXH won't even give reconciling our marriage a thought. OW must really be something - guess he doesn't give any credence to the old addage "if you'll do it with me, you'll do it to me."

Last night, I got out our wedding album and had a good look at the pictures. The love on our faces in those pictures is almost touchable. I still remember every detail as if it happened yesterday. I cried and cried and cried. Cried even harder when DS looked at a picture of STBXH, said "Dada" and kissed it. Looked at my wedding gown, which is still hanging in the closet of our guest bedroom - funny, only recently, STBXH told me what a pretty bride I was. am so very very very sad - technically, I am still a newlywed and, now, a petitioner in a divorce proceeding.

To add insult to injury, the brakes went on my car, so it is in the shop - needs new brakes, oil change, new tires and rear tail light replaced. Just add it to the money pit....

I want so much to have the opportunity to work on our marriage without OW around but that is not an option at this time because STBXH wants no parts of cutting off contact and moving away from OW. All STBXH would have to do is say the word and I would be ready....fat chance, I guess.

Took the day off of work so that I could implode....but first I'm getting my hair done to help make me feel better after I have imploded.

Sorry...just needed to vent....I am so so sad.

Regards,

Brit's Brat - BS-42
STBXH - 44
DS - 20 months
Status: Filing for Divorce 7-8-03 on 3rd Anniversary of Marriage

BritsBrat, OK Cry if you will but get it all out because tomorrow is a new day and you are going to pick yourself right back up and start living your new life... I know you don't want to hear this but it will get better in time - I promise - the good days will outweigh the bad eventually... And you have done everything in your power to save this marriage - it is not your fault... Remember that - and as for the other woman - Hell he doesn't even know her - she is a fantasy that lives in another country - they don't know each other very well - I mean I know he is in that country now - but that is his loss - he is basically leaving his son - and I know that must also be alot of your pain.... It is just the fact that we the BS's that end in divorce have to realize that we did nothing... And that there is nothing we can do to change this... We can only control ourselves... OK so you cry today - but promise tomorrow you will wake up with a new attitude and ready to face the brand new world...Today pack away your wedding dress and your wedding album - so you don't get the urge anymore -and start looking towards your future with your son.... Smile after today <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Hi BB,
I'm so sorry about your sadness, but your feelings are all good and normal, and will probably last for a while. I didn't believe people when they told me that I would eventually feel better, but it is true. Time helps heal the wound. BB, you are young, and you have a wonderful life ahead of you. It is hard right now to picture a life without your WH, but as time goes by, it will be clearer how you will be okay without him.
God bless. Email me if you need to talk.
KK

I have some Dove and Ghiradelli chocolates if you need for me to share.

The sun will come up tomorrow. You will find the edge of your bed and climb out. And you'll carry on. Then you'll do it the next day and the next. And, eventually, your heart will sing again.