Went to divorce court yesterday, tried to make it easy on everyone and settled before going in.
I think I could have won, my wife wanted sole custody, I wanted joint custody, I ended up with her having sole custody and me having shared physical custody, with getting to see the kids almost everyday but with only 1 weekday overnight per week and everyother weekend overnights.
Now take into account that I raised my daughters from birth, I was stay at home dad for 8 years, 7 of it while working part time.
She currently makes almost $5,000 a month, I lost my job in this mess, I was kicked out of house 6 months ago, though she is the one who was having affair (found out 2 weeks after being kicked out)
I gave her the house, she pays the debts, and I declined alimony.
If I had gone to court, I would have got alimony for several years, would have got half of everything, may have even got custody.
But I did not want to go thru the court proceedings, putting what has been my family (ex-wife) for half my life (18years) thru this mess.
She made me look bad thru this whole experiance, but I did not choose the same path as anger and vengance and self-gain that she did.
I just wanted to see my kids, and thought by not going to trial my kids would get to stay in their own house and own bedroom and go to their own school.
Now my ex is saying she is going to have to sell the house so she can pay off bills and buy cheaper house.
So did I screw up, or will I get to see my kids like I want (realize for 8 years my kids were with me almost all the time).
Of course my wife says I was not a good parent, that all I did was sleep and lay around,
(she forgot about all her laundry, cleaning house, doing everything around the house for years I did)

I took the high road, I just wonder if I took the right road

It won't be apparent, immediately, whether you took the right road or not. The answer will come when your children look at you with incredible love and respect for making their lives easier and happier.

I know it seems unfair that your x ended up with "everything." In MY case, I, initially, thought my x got the better end of the deal. It's now been 13 years...and I can promise you...it is *I* who has lived the happiest life. It is *I* who has the love and respect of our 3 adult children. Two of our children won't even talk to him.

It is far too soon to determine how things will eventually turn out. My DS, who is 24, can be moved to tears by his appreciation for HIS life. He was raised by me and my DH (his stepfather). Whatever my x "thought" he was getting (at the time), bears no resemblence to what he actually ended up with. Time will tell (REALLY).

Hang in there. Be strong.

BTM