Went to divorce court yesterday, tried to make it easy on everyone and settled before going in.
I think I could have won, my wife wanted sole custody, I wanted joint custody, I ended up with her having sole custody and me having shared physical custody, with getting to see the kids almost everyday but with only 1 weekday overnight per week and everyother weekend overnights.
Now take into account that I raised my daughters from birth, I was stay at home dad for 8 years, 7 of it while working part time.
She currently makes almost $5,000 a month, I lost my job in this mess, I was kicked out of house 6 months ago, though she is the one who was having affair (found out 2 weeks after being kicked out)
I gave her the house, she pays the debts, and I declined alimony.
If I had gone to court, I would have got alimony for several years, would have got half of everything, may have even got custody.
But I did not want to go thru the court proceedings, putting what has been my family (ex-wife) for half my life (18years) thru this mess.
She made me look bad thru this whole experiance, but I did not choose the same path as anger and vengance and self-gain that she did.
I just wanted to see my kids, and thought by not going to trial my kids would get to stay in their own house and own bedroom and go to their own school.
Now my ex is saying she is going to have to sell the house so she can pay off bills and buy cheaper house.
So did I screw up, or will I get to see my kids like I want (realize for 8 years my kids were with me almost all the time).
Of course my wife says I was not a good parent, that all I did was sleep and lay around,
(she forgot about all her laundry, cleaning house, doing everything around the house for years I did)

I took the high road, I just wonder if I took the right road

Is it too late to do anything to change it? If it is, then there really is no point in wondering, and you'll drive yourself crazy. If there is a possibility to change it, then you should think about if it would be a good idea.

rufus,
What state are u in? Sure sounds as if u got the short end of the stick. If you do not get to see the kids as you want you have the right to go back to court for a modification in visitation - usually every 2 years or so unless there is a material change in circumstance that affects the child/ren.

The stories I read about here at MB amaze me. My FMM divorced his XW (pro se w/ my help) w/out benefit of counsel. Yet we have the baby 3 days per week and now every M - F while her mom works or is in school. We had court yesterday also and had the right of first refusal added w/ a specific time and drop off location that is closer to our home as well as an injunction to keep her and her live-in from smoking in the house around the baby.

It makes me wonder what the real attorneys are doing. Her motion to have him pay her legal fees was also DENIED.

Are you working now? Is she flexible w/ your visitation? Either way, research your rights and go after them. Good luck to you. tew