It's taking me quite a long time to finally realize that there is no hope for my marriage. I have tried both A & B approaches and he just doesn't budge. We have been together for 21 years total and it has been very difficult for me to finally say it's done. He starting having an affair about 18 months ago and filed for divorce in April. He is going through money like there is no tomorrow. He is like a train without a conductor. He tried to swat me away like a fly and has become increasingly angry because I didn't go when he told me that he didn't love me any more. The OW is controlling and bold. He seems to enjoy the irresponsible life style that they lead. Drinking and God only knows what else on weekends. He returns home Sunday night - Thursday night and then stays at OW house Friday and Saturday. He only comes home to take care of our daughter who is just 4. He has made the OW known to my daughter on a regular basis and I can not stop it by law. I tried. Today became the day that I finally came to grips that it is over and whatever my lawyer suggests to do I will do. I actually feel bad that I may have to file a comtempt of court order against him next week. But when I got home from work today I realized if he had to he would file one against me. We are over and let the chips fall where they may. But, mark my words I will FIGHT for everything that I feel that I deserve. He has screwed me over during our marriage he WILL not during our Divorce. Please excuse my spelling I am very upset tonight and can't seem to remember how to spell the simplest words.

I am sorry that you are having to go through this!!! It sucks when we realize that the one that we love does not love us. That is harder!!! You will survive!!!!

I would say that you need to stop allowing H to be in the home during the week, this cannot be good for you or your daughter. Get to a lawyer and see how it is that you need to do this.

You need to protect yourself financially from what it is your H is doing at this time, get your name off everything that you can. Make sure that H is not getting any new CC's that include your name, this could happen without you knowing it. Make sure that your lawyer protrects you from H filing for bankrupcy.

Keep coming here and venting, crying, seeking help what ever it is there are people here that will help you with it!!!!

Take care of yourself!!! You have to stay strong for you and your daughter!!!

Dawn <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I'm so sorry for what you've been through. I can only say that you will better off without someone who seems to be so selfish! For you to put up with him as long as you did only proves you are a very patient person and deserve to be happy. You can walk away knowing you tried.....Good luck to you and may the future bring you much happiness..

When I came to the end of my first marriage, it was very hard. For a long time it was as though I was trying to keep a loved one alive on live support when they were really already dead.
It sounds like you have gone through a large part of the greiving process that comes with divorce.
I waited until I felt nothing for him anymore. Then when I threw him out , I never looked back. My friends warned me that it would hit me later-never did. I went through the pain while we were still living in the same house and that was it.
Maybe it won't be so hard for you once he's gone. I dreaded the day that I would actually make him leave and kept on putting it off, hoping we would get our marriage on the right track(we had 6 chldren together) never happened.
Do prepare yourself for the divorce crazies that you could go through. I was very mature in my first marriage-then I went dancing and even moter cycling. I had a blast! I don't regret it. I got married young and had fun later.
I wish you the best. Maybe you are more prepared for this than you think-like the shot that you cringe for and don't even feel. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Thanks everyone. Today was a rather strange day for me. It is like having a loved one on life support. I have supported him emotionally for years and as I look back now (the light went on) I realize he did not do the same for me for many years now. I was more like his mother then his wife the last few years. My H and the OW are in constant contact through out the day. Oh, the glory of the cell phone. Today he started to put his paperwork together for his lawyer. The cell phone bills, credit card statements, tax returns. Then there is what they call the discovery package. I am not sure if he has look through the entire package but his is going to have to answer specific very embarassing questions regarding his sexual activity with his GF. If he lies and says there is no one the cell phone bills will tell the story. He is such an inconsiderate [censored] when it comes to me though. He went to the cell phone store today to I am guessing to order the copies of his bills and they had free phones for children. Toys but real phones. One of the phones my daughter brought home had a battery still in it and it basically works. Just for the heck of it I looked to see if the previous owner had phone numbers in the "phone book" and to my shock my H had programed his GF's phone number in it. I look at two ways one to upset me and two he is most likely hoping that I take the number and call his GF and then she can report me to the police and stir up trouble for me in that way. I am not taking the bait. The fool doesn't realize I already have it cell phone number her house number where she lives and works, blah, blah, blah. Both my H and OW think that I am like a lame duck waiting for him to make all of the decisions little do they both know that I plan to get my revenge in court. Oh and by the way I had to fill out the same discovery paperwork and my is quite boring. I did have the opportunity to put her full name on the court records. I found a lot of pleasure in naming her by name. Any women that knowing and willing has an affair with a married man with a two year old should be more then ashamed of themselves. If anything she should have told him to leave me before they started the affair. And him I was just fine until he deceided something better came along. Well both of them will be in for a quick and stunning awaking in the next couple of weeks. My lawyer has carte blanche on what to do. I will no longer feel sorry for my H for what is going to happen in the next couple of weeks now that the court is involved. I didn't want this to be a mess divorce but he is causing it to be.