Ladies and gentlemen how are you? I know some of you and some of you I don't but by being here we have all been in the same boat.

I just popped in to give a little update.
I have been divorced now for a year and 2 months and I am just now coming to grips with everything. I am starting to see more clearly and I have moved on with my life.

My children have ajusted well and I have been in very good spirits.
I still haven't started dating seriously and don't plan to because I am having fun just the way things are now.

All the hurt, resentment and bad feelings towards my ex have subsided and I now kind of feel sorry for her. Well, kind of mad at her.
Her affair lasted up until September of last year and she dated a few guys and then tryed to come back to me. I thought that is what I wanted but turns out that I have lost lots of feelings for her that I thought I still had.
She is now dating a guy who has a criminal history and no job... I don't understand her till this day. I am mad at her because she wouldn't want me around trashy women so why would I settle for her having the kids around trashy men?

I feel bad for her because she is having money problems and she has lost her car but I am doing what the courts tell me to do and then some so I can't blame myself but the kids are suffering because of it.

Anyway, I am working in Saudi Arabia now and will be home in a few weeks and my birthday is coming up so I am ready to have a good time with my kids and a little fun for myself....

Regards to everyone....

Steve

P.S. All of you that are going through this, I feel for you and it hurts me to even think of the pain you are going through but I have been there myself and I have survived the worst of it. SO CAN YOU! And you will, I promise!

Glad to hear your kids are adjusting. Perhaps they will be able to talk some sense into their mom regarding the deadbeat boyfriends when they are old enough... You'll be surprised at the sensible things that come out of kids' mouths when it counts.

Good to hear you are moving on with your new life. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Roughneck - what an inspiration for those of us going through this pain. You did it, are doing well, and the kids are doing well. Good to hear, and will give us some future of light to look forward to.

Oh yeah, H A P P Y B I R T H D A Y <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> and have a good one with your kids. Kindness comes in many fashions, your fashion is being there for the kids, and loving them with all your heart. Take care. Keep telling your x-wife that she is a great person and that you love her if you do. Or that you care about her. Sounds like her self-esteem is really down. Know about that, am there and trying to get out of that big dead hole.

Thank you guys. This place does carry a lot of pain but it also carries a lot of hope and the friends you make here is worth it all. I didn't want everyone to think that everything has been peachy in the last year. I've have had to do something that was harder that everything else before the divorce. Tell the mother of my children and the love of my life so far that I could never go back to her for fear of not treating her the way she deserved to be treated and for fear of things getting violent if I had to go though this again with her. I have no more tolerance for infidelity and I am scared that I would lose it.

I am happy though. I enjoy my time with the kids, I enjoy my time and the time that I spend with my friends. I have done things that I wouldn't have been able to do in my marriage. I have found me again and I like the person that I am.
I still have my dark days that nobody sees, a situation or a calendar date or something of that sort will trigger a bad memory and it makes me sad but all in all it is pretty good and a thousand times better than it was two years ago.

Thanks again guys....

Steve