Here is one problem that I am facing. My X is in a bad habit of finding all the losers she can find since I couldn't go back to her after the affair was over.

I don't like it one bit because my children are subjected to it. I have told each and every one of her live in's that if they touch my children that the undertaker would be wiping their @$$.

Is there a way that I could maybe help her out?
She is living with a jobless petty criminal right now. It is killing me that my X has no more self respect for herself and my kids.

Maybe I just wanted to be heard.

Thanks

Steve

Alot of WW do that crap. My EX called me a loser.....Im a college grad with a fantastic career, and she dumped me for a married guy who is just now going to school. YET!! Im the loser....whatever. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

Rough,
The best thing you can do right now is take care of your children. I am afraid your obligation to your X is DONE!
Perhaps you could be thinking of how it would be best to your children that they need to be strong, stay level headed, stay safe. DO NOT DISS THE X to your children. It is not up to you to put your 'feelings' about the matter apon them. They need to form their own opinions.
Perhaps you could suggest to the X that until her life is settled, visits with the kiddos should be at a grandparents house, a "safe" friends house, at a park, etc, prefably just her. I do not think that there is really anything you can do about whether or not she drags along a "friend" for the visits. Get legal advice on this last paragraph...
But all in all, there is NOTHING you can do for the X. You may find your self tangled in a web that is difficult to get out of and nothing urks a female companion more than a man who is somehow attached to an X.

By the way, Im NOT mad......I was just using the mad face as an expression. I dont wanna sabotage this thread and have people start analyzing me. Anyhow, I think WW latch on to just about anything for companionship after the breakup. JMHO!

I don't how it you propose helping her to find a better guy, sounds like her self esteem is pretty low and this is all she feels she is worth having around. She needs some IC, is she up to that?

In my decree it is written that there is no co-habiatation by either parent when children are present. X had to marry blimpo ASAP!!!

Are you paying enough support that along with her job she and the kids could live on their own without having a roomate? I'm just asking that would be one way that she could lose the loser!!!

I heard you!!! and that is what you said you wanted, so don't know if my suggestions are wanted or not. I can hear the aggreaviation in your voice.

Take care, Dawn <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Wayward spouses act in bizarre actions. Yes, most of us betrayed spouses are inadequate in someway. And the other person (mine is bimbo) is extraordinary in many ways. Yes, I heard it, was told to my face how inadequate I was sexually, and more.

Your wife is just reaching her hand out and whomever grasps her hand she takes them in. Like the others posted, her self-esteem is quite low. Interesting enough, many wayward spouses self-esteem is low. They may not realize that they ruined their life, ruined their family, and have destroyed the unite. But their reactions are telling them so.

I would be kind to her, and loving in some way. Set the boundaries though. Tell her as long as someone else is living in the house with her that is not a spouse, the kids will not be there. That is also a guideline set by the government. If your kids are old enough, don't know how old they are, if there is someone else spending the night, they can call to tell you to come pick them up. With them seeing mom with whomever grasps her hand, they are confused, hurting inside, and subjected to this immoral life. Explain that mommy is under extreme stress, and that for their safety, state that both mommy and daddy have decided it better that if mommy has an overnight guest, that they are to come back home.

Also, you don't know who these people are, and that they could harm them. But that doesn't have to be exactly explained to them in that way. Just state, they are not family, and until things are more settled, this is the appropraiate way to conduct the family situation.

Hard, being the one betrayed and watching your spouse commit adultery, and go down. I am watching my x-husband, and I don't like it either. I do care about him a lot. I don't like his actions, and don't want to be entered into his unthoughtful words and actions.

Have you suggested to her that she needs counseling. And maybe you two could counsel togehter for maybe 3 sessions. This will show the kids that you are going to work out some of the details, and that you two are trying to be nice to each other. Just a suggestions. But many wayward spouses feel they have everything under control. That is why things are such a mess <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> .

One thing I have to say is that I work overseas and not home but 6 months out of the year working 35 and 35. The time that I am home the children stay with me. It's the time that I am gone that bothers me.

As far as counseling, I haven't offered it but I have thought about it. I was sending her to counceling through out our divorce but she quit going. I don't know if she would go now.

To my child support, I pay every month the amount the courts require and then some on the side. She doesn't work, why would she? 2000 a month is a pretty good paycheck even though she lost the car because she wouldn't pay for it. I don't know if you read the part "jobless" but he doesn't have a job, he is living off her.....

Self-esteem and self-worth is a major problem...