Received this in my email. Inspiring story of getting on with your life. Sounded almost like someone from MB. It is an out of the box publication.
Free
Tell me the truth!" she said angrily.
"You keep telling me I can have a new life, that I can
get 'out of my box'...but how can I possibly do it?
Look at the choices I've made! There's no way! Could
we get *real* here?"
So I did...and told her about "Paula" (not her real
name)...in her own words...
"My prior career was business management - many long
and irregular hours making money for someone else. My
divorce last fall ended a marriage that while I was
never actually hit, was filled with control,
intimidation, and clear threats of violence, which
my ex still denies.
"Domestic violence is not easy to rise above - for me,
the unseen scars were the most insidious and toughest
to overcome. We separated just a few months after I
returned to school in my late thirties.
"I was a stay at home Mom - still am because our young
child needed me here while adjusting. My ex initially
cut off ALL of our access to any funds, and until I
could get him into court I did something I thought
I'd never do in a million years - apply for assistance -
humiliating. The only help I receive from my ex in
caring for our child is when I am in school two
evenings a week and every other weekend (yes, I am at
school both days of those weekends also), which
means I am either in school or being a Mom - 24/7.
"I won't get into all the details of running a house
alone and handling the bulk of parenting a young
child alone. I study when I can during the Mom job -
sometimes staying awake all night long to get it done.
I took 20 credit hours this semester, though I was
sick with bronchitis and asthma flare-ups for two
months this winter. Six of those hours are distance
courses where I am responsible for teaching myself
the material - one of those is a particularly tough
course. During this semester, I also completed my
self-application process to graduate school and
applied for a job in my new career.
"I've been a busy gal.
"Although I did everything I could think of and held
countless open houses, the beautiful home we built
foreclosed because he refused to sign papers to list
and sell it - said he'd rather let it foreclose.
"Although I had good credit and owned my own home
before we met, I now am unable to qualify to buy one
- I'll change that ASAP. My attorney died suddenly
as we completed the property settlement several
months ago. The property settlement gave me ALL the
marital debts in exchange for a settlement from my
ex so now I'm paying all the debts as I wait for
the settlement funds - delayed due to my attorney's
death and re-assignment of his caseload.
"The past few years have been some of the most
difficult of my life; they included much soul
searching and increased self-awareness and growth.
There were so many times I questioned whether I'd
lost my mind taking on more than I could handle...
days I thought I might collapse I was so drained.
(Yes, you did tell me a few months ago that if I
didn't take care of the chicken, it would stop
laying eggs - lol - probably almost did a couple
times.)
"I try to do something fun for a couple hours each
week to keep balance. "Just keep walking" became
my motto - the paperweight on my desk reminds me
'NEVER QUIT! There is nothing LESS important than
the score at half-time.'
"I'd be lying if I said anger initially had nothing
to do with my motivation, but I truly believe that
God wants me doing what I am doing and has a plan
for me because He's helping me get there - now that
I'm open to it.
"That and the knowledge of what my life and my
child's life will be if I don't change it, keeps
me walking.
"I want a stable and happy life in a peaceful home
for us both. I made some poor choices and lived
through abuse. I accept that, but it's my option
now and in the future to change it.
"I am incredibly blessed with a wonderful, loving,
healthy, and happy child. I have an inspired church
home. I have wonderful friends who love me enough
to be honest with me, even if it's initially hard
to hear.
"My initial education program ends this week, I
received my offer of admission to graduate school
last week and this morning, received an offer for a
position with the organization where I most want to
work!!! How exciting - and rewarding to finally be
getting there!!
"So, you ask what keeps me going when I'd just as
soon give up. What's stronger than my fear?
"Fear. Determination. Fear that if I don't change
it myself, it won't happen! Determination to do
exactly that! :-)"
Is there a new life out there waiting for *you*?
Count on it. Can you have it? Yes, if you want it
badly enough to make it happen. Will it be easy? No...
...but as "Paula" will tell you, it's worth it! You
just have to keep walking.
© Pat Lynch, 2003. All Rights Reserved.
Please feel free to forward this on.
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Patrick Lynch
patlynch@potential.com
Phone: (602) 689-7904
