Ok. Things have been really busy and I am almost scared to post about really good things happening but I am. Have had nothing but yucky stuff for about 4 years now but am hoping this will be a lesson that there is always hope for us. Hope in times of uncertainty. Hope in the strangest of forms. Oh, and angels exist.

Ok. Job front. I wanted to leave clinical arena for sales and mkg. The night before the interview with the drug co., got a call from the prez elect of my state society saying there was a company that wanted me as prez bad. They wanted to see me the next day. I went in after the drug company interview (went well and they offered me about the same as what I was making before). I went into the other office and felt at home. Met their CEO and president. They offered me a base of 60 plus definite bonus of five and then a solid christmas bonus of 1k. So 66 firt year total. I was giddy. They want me to build a new cardiology practice in a very cool area of town (not too far btw...about 45 min commute which is tiny for Atlanta) and then once it builds, work to expand me into marketing and then get me to recruit docs into contracts. They are largest ultrasound imaging co. in southeast and are getting into nuclear now, thus why they wanted me. They also informed me they'd become a huge sponsor for my state society. And the prez has family and friends I know back home in TN and he is a wonderful person.

Here's the wierd part..They said that they were expanding operations throughout the south and within 2 years will be in Birmingham and Memphis (my hometown) and wanted to know if possibly in that time period with my being from Memphis if I would consider then starting things up for them in Memphis? That made me teary. The opportunity to maybe be able to move home. And legally that's the one answer to this custody situation. If I move and have valid offer from company, then legally he can't fight me very much. So I was just sitting there listening to them with tears in my eyes.

Ok...So follow this now...A few weeks ago because I had to get off so much from court appearances, I get fired from old job. Huge crushing blow since Jethro hasn't paid us well. Within 3 weeks I get a new job making alot more than the old one...At least 15k more. Can we say prayer works? That we aren't forgotten people?

And then I went on the hunt for a new home for my son and I. Found a couple and then on a last minute hunch yesterday made an appointment the night before and yesterday morning went to see three houses that this very nice couple owned (relators). They specialize in immediate relocations. It was gorgeous. Much nicer than the one I live in but a bit smaller so thats good. The master even has a sitting room in it. And it's 700 a month cheaper! And in an awesome area and puts me 20 min. away from Jethro further and close to life as I know it.

Jethro ruined my credit from 7 mos. of non payments and all the heck I went through. And allowed the hummer to be repo'd. Thus, I stink on paper. After seeing the home, I believed I couldn't afford it. I wanted to cry. It was less than 2 years old and only one guy had lived there for 6 mos. before getting transferred so it's like a brand new home. Nice lovely landscaped gated small backyard and lovely landscaped front. The subdivision has a nice new pool and lighted tennis courts and a playground. Lots of kids my son's age. And met a very nice woman and she gave me her number. They even have a community book club for the ladies and a babysitting coop for that night. I thought it was too good to be true. But the realtor told me the price (700 less than now) and I almost passed out. And I have option to buy. I was honest with her and told her about my almost having to go bankrupt 2 mos. ago. I almost cried as I told her about the divorce. She was foreign but very very much an American. Nice, cute lady.

She listened and then told me "it's yours". The next call on her cell was from a man who was going to come by that evening to bring a check to her for this very house. I got it just in time. Later yesterday when I signed the papers, she told me something very unusual. And it made me rethink how this society views divorce. I also, btw, had a bad taste in my mouth about Muslims after 9/11 and all. She told me this as I was signing the papers.." Divorce is wrong and if a man casts his wife aside so he can marry another, then it is wrong. I am a muslim and we are very clear about this. When I moved here to this country, I lived in Boston. I got married adn was very happy. But he left me and wanted to see other women and here I was in a strange country facing something of shame. I was so ashamed I couldn't even tell my family back home So I got a divorce and moved to GA and didn't tell anybody. Then 2 years later at a BBQ, I met the man who is now my husband. We've been married 1 years and you can be happy again.. I got a second chance for happiness and you deserve one too." So she gave me the chance and it's mine. We will move in at the end of August or first of Sept. It's soooo pretty. And then she said "I am just curious...Are you Catholic? I said no. She said then "I thought all Christians were pretty much Catholics." And then I said to her, "That's funny, I thought all muslim women wear burkas." We both laughed and it was so great to break down walls of religion.

So I found God in the eyes of someone who seems HIm a bit differently than I do. But I learned something. That as Christians we are far too tolerant of divorce. It rips apart families and hurts children and scars both children and parents too. And that we've made something that's clearly wrong into something acceptable and able to be rationalized as ok. We can even rationalize why we would leave our wife or husband for another person in this society. Well maybe it's time to just be clear on things.

I am not going to enable Jethro at all. No sir. He forwarded via my attorney this stupid spiritual message/inspirational story. I don't know why. He actually said he felt sorry for me. Sorry? Jethro doesn't even know what's coming in store for him. Me, the xwife now, is getting on with life. I made my first home purchase as a single mother and without any help from him. Jethro had emailed to attorneys about his desire to "help" me and use some of his "special contacts" to get me into a home and all I had to do was "ask for his help". I didn't. I did it on my own. And I got a better job. And I am taking care of me. And it's not easy digging yourself out from under a financial landslide, but I am beginning and trying.

I will not lie. This is the hardest thing you'll ever do. But you can do it and I am starting each day by making baby steps. You will still cry. Sometimes you'll feel as though you will never love again and that your heart has been burned beyond recognition but you will endure somehow. And how? You will endure when you know friends here are loving you and praying for you. Just remember each day to make one baby step. Just one. And over a year, you will make over 300 baby steps toward a new life.

Jethro is in for a huge surprise. I didn't crack. I didn't lose my mind. I am not (well sometimes I do cry) usually crying and wishing him back at all. I look good. I am together. I am living. Life did not end when Jethro wanted out and wanted another woman.

Just remember this girls and guys: A good woman (or guy if you want to) is like a tea bag...She gets really strong when placed in hot water. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

peachy-

WOW! What great update! I'm so happy for you. Is there a graemlin for a happy tear? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

You are definately the strong one. I knew you were. Look what you put up with for a few years. You kept the faith and true to yourself. This is just wonderful.

Despite the fact that the final hearing for my Dv was last week, it could re-open soon because of new evidence. I'm happy about this but scared at the same time because of the evidence that has surfaced. I'll tell you about it later.

Best to you and your little one. I can't say enough how happy I am for you and your little boy! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

HoFS

Sounds like God closed a few windows and opened a few doors. Big, beautiful doors! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

peachy,

Praise God. You deserve this blessing peachy.

Would you mind if I made a link to this thread from the Restoration of Marriages thread under answered prayer?

S&C

Just like I thought...The negativity and stuff he's done still comes back to bite me. The first lump sum payment isn't due for 3 mos. and I just found out that the amount the cc consolidator had shown me after negotiating isn't the amount we originally decided upon with my budget. So I freaked out.

I cried and cried. My head is aching. I do so good for so long and then whammo. Something comes up and scares me totally again.

I am doing my best to just keep that good attitude and keep rejoicing. He still hasn't paid us this month and I am angrier than ever at that but I am just trying to get on with things. Keep praying. I am trying ok?

And I am overall much better still get sucked in to his crap. Angry about the stuff he left me with and the fact I didn't have enough money to fight him the way I should have in court.

But I am praying for tomorrow. That's why I was afraid to post about something good happening...Like I am cursed or something. But overall things are getting somewhat better.

And you can link this. I want others to have hope, but remember, there is always something to have to deal with when it comes to x's. He left us in horrible financial status...One inch from bankruptcy and he has no conscience even about that. The man could have at least left us in good shape if he couldn't honor his vows as a husband...he could have just been a man about things and did right by us. But when you deal with a sociopath you should just say all bets on him doing the right things are off.

Peachy, I'm SOOOOO GLAD for ya!! I rejoiced when I just read this post - you go girl. The wheels of justice roll slowly, but they DO roll. Just keep hangin' in there - you will get even more than you expected. Way 2 go!!!
Congrats on the new job!!!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />
Stay strong and keep the faith, my friend.
Harold

Congrats on the new job, new home. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Hi Peachy!

I just had to log in to tell you I have been lurking for al this time, keeping up with you and a few others. God is working in your life, so anything Jethro throws at you will not pass the shiels He put in front of you.

Your new home and job sound fantastic, and just what you deserve. May everything go smoothly with your move and new job!

Part of my recovery from the divorce was getting things done on my own, without the X's input. It empowered me and gave me confidence to be single in the big old world again. It sounds like this is what is happening to you. I am so pleased for you!

Love and light,

Jacky

{{{Peachy}}}

Am so glad to hear how things worked out for you! The job sounds fabulous and the new house is wonderful!

Lori <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Peach,

Wow, soo good to hear such great news!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Lady, you are 1 special lady! Your accomplishments are just beginning for you.

Take care and we will chat laters. ok? I have your # and may call tonight.
L.

Hey Nina, Lori, Harold and Orchid!

I had a better day. I am still reeling I guess from fact that Jethro hadn't paid us yet and tomorrow is the deadline. HE is to pay 1st half of the monies by the fifth of the month and the last half by the twentieth. So guess he thinks he is immune to the law. I just cannot imagine having to once more take him back to court.

This is insane. I am scared silly and worried the man won't pay us. I got a better job and am afraid he will try to go and get an immediate modification on the spousal support side of things. I am just doing my best here, that's all. So it's frightening.

I would have maybe fifty bucks left over at end of the month if Jethro didn't pay us. And I am scared silly I guess.

We do depend on his paying us for us to survive. He left me with incredible debt and I depend on that money also to pay off the credit consolidator. So it's not like he's paying me and I am socking away all this money...However, when the lump sum comes in (if it ever does)then I will use that to sock away.

He's just doing the same old same old thing...Stall, not pay, and then try to spin his way outta doing the right thing. What kind of man on this planet can do that? I think we should nominate him for the all time MB'er WS of the Millenium.

PLEASE pray that everything goes ok and he complies with the agreement he pushed for. Hey, it was his stupid idea to pay me less and is this his new strategy? To just not pay at all or try to pay us even far less than that amount? Iguess that I am scared b/c I don't have extra monies to fight this guy anymore.

But Nina you're right about the part about feeling good when you do it on your own. In his last email forwarded to me via attorneys, it said how he wanted me to contact his "friends" to help me get a place. And that's ok, but I'd rather do it myself. That way he doesn't have chance to get an extra key from a relator friend or a builder friend. Plus the fact I did it is important. I am cutting the cord. And it's wierd. Sometimes I feel so dad gum happy. And had two guys be really nice to me today when I was out just browsing at an antique mall...They were cute and I am starting to again take notice and believe my pulse is coming back....Feel like I've been clinically dead for about 2 years now. Re entering the world of the living is strange when you've been sequestered like this. It's like waking up from a coma or something. You just somehow wake up and really take notice of the sun and everything around you. I am beginning to want to do the little things again and this is the third day this week I have worked out.

My revenge is I guess, just to live well and look my best now. Be the best mom I can be and be a good role model for him. I just want things to go good for my son and I now. And I am wondering with him not paying us, it's like he really DOESN'T want me to get a place of my own for our child. It's like he keeps on wanting to punish me for something. What I ask? All I am guilty of is trying to make him do the right thing. And he's fought, kicked, and resisted every bit of the way. He probably is angry that I am not allowing him to help (like you call what he's done to me help) get a new place.

I try to not focus at all on him whatsoever. It is like he's dead now. I have enjoyed the peace and no contact. If he cannot be the man I once knew, then I want no part of him. I will after the RO is lifted (hope that will be months away), I will have only minimal contact and for child only. He will one day have to be accountable and it may be coming next week when his trial happens for his stupidity and breaking into my home. The county has sent me a bunch of papers and wants me to fill out a victim's impact statement and other things. I am going to take the high road and tell them to be kind to the father of my child, but that I request that because of his changes in behavior he be given therapy with a court appointed psychologist. That he needs help as his personal life has spun out of control and that my son loves him very much and needs his daddy back.

That's what I am gonna do. I thought long and hard. I don't want him in jail. He already wore orange and spent the night. Unless of course, the judge does sentence him for the evading arrest. I want instead for him to get some kind of help and for once and for all him to have to sit for a psychologist and find out who is the real head case here. They may find out he is indeed a sociopath as I suspect and may be able to help him. That's all I can do. I don't mean anything malicious by doing this or writing the letter, just would like to do that for my son. Know that going to anger management classes for him wouldn't work as he's immune to believing he's done anything wrong whatsoever, including being abusive to me which is also documented and the magistrate court is going to pull the papers showing the abuse that was documented a year and a half ago.

So that's what's going on now. I am trying to focus and stay positive and focus on beginning anew. I just joined ATL Young Rep. and they are awesome! I am going to first meeting this wed. night. They are so nice. Plus when son is away on visitation, I need to find something I believe in to work on. They also raise money for a battered women's shelter and I think that would be more than therapy for me. Last week they went to the Braves' game and they invited me but I didn't open the email until the day after. Between that and going to the new "God Talks" series for singles, I think I am starting nicely. Who knows...Maybe in the next half of the year I will get a date. But I am just focusing on making new friends. And strengthening ties with old ones.

On a good note, just found out my lifelong best friend back home is preggo with her second. It is somewhat sad for me because we got married within six mos. of each other, had our boys within six mos. of each other and I know without a doubt I would have probably had my second child had my marriage not gone south and wrecked by Jethro's skirt chasing. So it is very happy for me yet bittersweet. She is so kind and lovely and I am praying for the very best. It's wierd now...Everybody says that I am still young. Even she said, "you are still young. you've got time to start everything over." But I don't feel I have that time. I just want life to start finally making some sense here. Making good sense. Making financial sense. Other than the financial part, I am finding peace. And that is good. I understand that I do not need Jethro there. I do not just need a warm somebody there to make me happy.

That's the key. For anybody reading this who is clinging on to somebody that doesn't want them, or desperately trying to bring back home their wayward spouse who's involved in affairs or destructive behaviors, remember that YOU CAN ONLY FIX YOU. You CAN'T FIX THEM UNLESS THEY WANT TO BE FIXED. And that's important. After 2 years of being alone I have come to a point where I want somebody who will treat me like the Peach Princess not the Peach Pit. (Ironically in college, my sorority put me up for Miss TN Peach Festival and I got first runner up so guess I am really Ms. Peach)...You have to sit and think "why do I want him/her back?" and are you really desiring them back, really desiring them back and fully understanding that sometimes they come back and never fix themselves and we've gone to all these lengths to shoulder the blame and everything that goes along with the marriage on our own shoulders. I can honestly say 100% that I DO NOT WANT JETHRO BACK AT ALL THE WAY HE IS. AND THAT MAY BE THE WAY I FEEL FOREVER. Sure, it would be nice to see the guy wanna change like Jacky's xh did when he finally woke up and realized he screwed up his life and wrecked the family he once had. I can attest to this...My vow to live well, be an awesome mom, grow my job, and work on me will definitely make him KICK HIMSELF IN THE PANTS. Ouch. I don't want real revenge. It will come in time and through living well.

I've never had a relationship so when it happens that will be another kick in the pants too. I was faithful and I am glad I was. I was a good wife to him. And I will be an even better girlfriend or hopefully someday wife to some incredible guy.

There's not enough emphasis imho, in plan A, to truly work on yourself. Because if you do not fully embrace the concept that you can ONLY CHANGE YOU, you will set yourself up for a huge letdown if the WS is not willing to change. I mistakenly thought that maybe I hadn't changed myself enough or just personalized it too much and that was wrong. Also not being harsh enough in plan B at first was another mistake I made. So the next guy better watch out...As my good buddy Orchid says "I keep plan B in my back pocket" and I will too. Whip that puppy out if need be and in the future...This peach won't tolerate any male pits ok? Just call me the official ATL Male Peach inspector. lmaorotf.

Oh, Orchid, do call tonight...I am at home and just relaxing and doing a whole buncha nothing and it feels GOOOOOOOOD.

Again, please everybody pray about our finances. Pray he pays us. We need some help and closure to this end to the most horrible chapter of my life.

Hi JustPeachy! You're too kind to the MORON. Why don't you file a Motion To Show Cause because he (probably) didn't pay you tomorrow and also file bankruptcy. Believe me, your credit is already screwed anyway, so what diff will it make now?
JMHO.
Harold
PS - Keep on keeping on, but don't crucify yourself doing it!

Peachy,

Sorry I was not able to call at a decent hour. Had a massive allergy attack today, took some medicine and basically knocked out for a few hours. Such a draining thing!!!

Will try tomorrow.

Hugz,
L.

Peachy,

Have you checked into selling the settlement note to an investor/collection agent for a discounted lump sum? That way, Jethro no longer has to pay you - so it's not about you. It's about him having to deal with a collection agent who might just be able to seize all his a**-ets and shut down his party-hardy ways.

Have you checked into that option?

Peachy,

Doing it on your own is what it is all about. It shows that you've grown considerably and will survive. When Jethro doesn't pay, somehow things will get taken care of. The doors open up somehow. I've learned that lesson; but I do remember the days of constant panicking when the check didn't come in from Dippy. He hasn't paid at all this month, and hope the DCSS finally will get him. He's never been held accountable for any of his behaviors, either.

Don't think of the timing of things... YOU ARE YOUNG, YOU DO HAVE YOUR LIFE AHEAD OF YOU! I try to forget how old I am, lol, and I know I still have a lot of life ahead of me.

You're doing good! Things will get better, but it comes in small spurts. If it was to all come at once you'd be so overwhelemed it would make things worse.

Lori

Peachy - you are moving ahead. The setbacks are NORMAL!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> Been counseling and going to group therapy, and it is normal. I hate them,, wishing that they would disappear. But the wayward spouse doens't feel anything. They are so into themselves, that is the way life is.

I am so proud to hear of the new house. It sounds wonderful, and the realtor knew this house was meant for you with Gods help. Congratulations.

And to think that maybe in a few years you can go back to your hometown. Wonderful, wonderful news. To be with family and know this is where your life began.

The new job, sounds great. You are an articulate smart woman. I am so proud of your accomplishments. And this was done by you, and God. Your a good mommy to your son, and you are providing for him in each and every way.

Chin up girl, keep it up and when it falls, strap it up with a towel. Hard to do, I know, but am trying like you. Atta girl,Gods love to you and your son.

Though I have lurked on this board for months, I have only just recently began posting. I have followed your story and I just have to tell you what an inspiration you have been to me. Your strength and determination amazes me and I have no doubt that you will survive no matter what Jethro does or doesn't do. He is the one who has lost the most... just too bad he is too stupid to realize it. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

Thanks faith and one day. Glad to hear you're hear one day!

I am trying. Really trying and it's scary. He hasn't paid us and today is the deadline for this month. Can we say "contempt" all together now?

But I am frightened to death that he will only use another court appearance to "modify" the amounts given to us. I just don't know what to do so I will call attorney in am and get them on it asap.

It is tough, but when you don't focus on them and try like heck to focus on you life is better. And simply by getting outside and working out (been working out 4 days so far this week), you feel totally different. Trust me, the old Peach is on the way back.

And faith I am so glad you've started taking these new steps! That's awesome. You are on the road too. And One day, it's hard. So dad gum hard to walk in these shoes we walk in. But you have friends here and we are pretty cool.

I am praying that he pays us and softens his hardened heart at least when it comes to his obligations legally. Not as a wayward, but just as a person legally obligated to do something.

Am really excited about going to the meeting for the young repub. this week. They are a cool group of people my age and used to be involved with them in TN. So this is very big. I am going to make a 100% effort to get out there and make new friends. That's what's important. To NOT be alone. To surround yourself with people who love you.

And I love and pray for you guys here. One day, I can remember a year ago when my eyes were constantly swollen from crying and all I could do was post here late at night when I couldn't sleep because the whole Jethro thing almost literally drove me insane. But I didn't go there. Stopped. And look who's the insane one (but remember here that he's the one with the money ok?). Maybe this week he will finally get some court ordered psych help. That's what I am praying for. I really don't want jail time for him. Just for him to find out what is really inside of him and to get this stuff out of him. Almost like he's posessed or something because literally in the last 3 years he's become somebody I don't know and so counter to the man I once loved.

And One Day, you like us may feel that love for the man lost, but it will be distant love. That's what I feel. Like when I remember how happy my college bf and I were. Except that I have to see this guy every once in a while but trust me...Boundaries, healthy boundaries will exist.

Today I went to the pool and to the gym. Two ladies at the pool whom I know came up and asked if I had been working out. I actually lost four pounds this week. I am getting closer to babedom again. And that's gonna be my revenge. Living well. Taking care of my son and of me and my dog and house. And taking good care of my patients too.

As of today, I don't care if the man ever tries to come back as I am growing and it's cool. Unless you've walked here in our shoes, you will never understand or know what I am talking about. The light is there. You gotta go through the darkness for a while until you can reach it. And I am still somewhat in darkness though. When the financial problems end, then I will truly be free of this whole horrible situation. Please pray for that liberation for us.

I want to start life anew. God knows I didn't want this divorce. God knows I loved my husband and family. God knows this whole thing is wrong. And I am seeking HIM to help me sort this out and just stay strong enough until my financial liberation day happens. Please pray the man pays us soon. That he realizes he got a good deal and that he just goes away quietly with Ms. Family Values and lives in the fog as long as he wants to or until his soul hurts so bad...But that he feels just enough guilt to write the check my child and I need. Trust me, I am not going to get in the way of them. God says to "be not unequally yoked" and they in my honest opinion, are perfectly "Yoked" for each other the way he's living now. But the Christian in me knows that he will not live this way forever and one can run from God for only so long. But that's not MY problem now and I am ok with everything.

I just won't allow her on my property or release my child to her. That's all. And I will have no confrontations or contact with either her or my xh period. I want peace in my life and new happiness.

Heard a really good song today by Good Charlotte called "Girls and Boys". Perfect song for my situation...Describes how some girls are golddiggers and see the money and cars only. And that boys just don't get it. Well, we shall see how long the gold diggin' ho makes it and how long his new "soulmate" lasts. Meanwhile, this peach is going to soon probably want to start looking for her equal. And that could take a while because MAN WHEN YOU ARE IN PLAN A, YOU GET TO REALLY WORKING ON YOURSELF AND IT'S GONNA BE HARD TO FIND A GUY WHO MEASURES UP TO ME AFTER PLAN A.

And think on that. Although I am also in plan B and a strict NC with xh, I am renewing my plan A with MYSELF. That is important. If we are to start over with ourselves, we need to have a positive outlook, not LB when we start to date (premature lb'ing is not good) and be the best we can be ever, it will amaze you how you are much more pickier when it comes to the opposite sex.

Gotta go. I am going to condition my hair. It's gone way too blonde in the sun. Feel like Pam A or Madonna or something now.

Peachy,

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">And One day, it's hard. So dad gum hard to walk in these shoes we walk in.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">You are so right, and that's why you and others here at MB are what got me through those first horrible months after my heart was ripped out and stomped on. My friends and family have been there for me and are supportive but they just don't understand how bad it hurts, how much you want to hate someone for what they have done, but you can't stop loving them. They can't understand why I can't just accept the fact that he is a jerk and get over it. I don't even talk about it anymore with any of them, as there is no point.

But the people here at MB do understand and I know how hard this has been for you. I said a prayer and will continue to pray that God will give you the financial peace you need so badly.

It is so frustrating and painful when it is you who hurts and suffers because the person you fell in love with decided that those vows you spoke to each other didn't mean anything. They, on the other hand, seem to go on with life with no pain, no struggles and no guilt either.

I just keep telling myself that I only have to get through one day at a timetoday and I try to not think about tomorrow. I am still hurting and I still love and miss him very much, even though I know he doesn't deserve it. But I believe that the day will come when I am happy again whether it is with or without him, and I know you will too.

Take care and don't give up! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Peachy - your words are encouraging, and the workout is doing you good, physically and mentally. Endorphins causes lift in spirit and mind.

So your working out, and lost 4 pounds this week. Good for you. I lost all the weight I had to during the affair, and all. Then after my surgery, I have put it almost all back on. I find that this depression is different than the other one. The other one I was really nervous, and couldn't sit. This one I can sleep more.

I have started working out, what I can do. Just not much with rotator cuff surgery, and whiplash condiitons.

Your little body is coming back, and your youth is coming back. Take good care of your little guy, and keep the boundaries. The no contact, is great. I never had the chance with my x-husband. But now we can talk once in awhile. Just no deep conversations, cause they cause too much pain, for either of us.

I haven't gotten alimony or childsupport yet. The system stinks, and once again SNL will probably get his way. He talked to me a little about the courts and how they don't care. So he said he would pay me directly. I am thinking about it, and needing to get some advice tomorrow from a free lawyer.

Waiting for food stamps too. Life stinks when I am this low on money. But hey, SNL can save, and is actually planning on a vacation with the kids. Yep, he has been hoarding the money, and now he can pay for all the kids to go with him and I have to sit here wondering where I am going to get the money to put food on the table. Does it seem fair, nope, but hey the wayward spouse showed from a long time ago, that they were not going to be fair, and put us down.

Your post is uplifting, and it is good to see you in the state of moving along. Hope you have a good day tomorrow, and get some money from x.