Hey well I have posted about being divorced, being angry - fighting with my ex - --I have come to a conclusion about alot of issues - 1- I cannot make him into the father that I want him to be - 2- I need to get along with him to a certain extent to make life easier on my girls - So things have been pretty calm - I have been seeing someone and I am feeling pretty good about it ---But my questions start now - Am I ever going to get over the pit in my stomach when I find something out about my ex?? Am I ever truly gonna wake up and feel totally happy and ready to face the world??? I have two beautiful daughters - lots of friends, I am in therapy - and I guess I somewhat have a boyfriend?? But still there are days like today for instance - when I am just sad?? For no reason other than all of the crap I have gone through for 2 years -??? I just wonder will it really ever truly be over??? Will I ever be able to trust someone??? Will I ever not be insecure about myself??? I guess the question is when do I become normal again?????

maw,

Where you ever normal? Just kiddin'

Will you ever be the same? No! look at what you have went through, what you have learned, what you have endured, those things change you!!!

It's ok to be sad, somedays are just that way, say a prayer and hope that the next day will be better.

Will hearing things about your H still effect you? Only if you let them!

God's blessings to you as you face life!!!

Dawn <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Daybreak - OK good point - maybe I never was normal - maybe I am going to be normal once I feel ok about things - I don't know ---!!!! But how do you control the feelings about the ex - why can't I just wake up one day and not give a crap about him at all - ever again... Granted it definately does not deserve me to care what so ever.... Who knows - maybe with time all of those feelings will fade away.....

maw,

My thought is why should I let him have that much control over my life, he chose for me not to be a part of his life any longer and as much as that hurt, I could dwell on it or get over it. I still think of him and what my life should be like now if we were still together, but then I wake up!!! I guess it is all a mind overr matter!!!

I've passed this around recently it makes you really stop and think about your life and who is in control. "he who angers you, controls you" I am not letting anyone control me, this is my life!!! If I dwell on him, that angers me and then he is in control!!!UGH!!!!

Just my way of getting over it, will I ever be the samae or normal!!! No! I wasn't normal before and I've grown to much from the experience to be who I was!!! I am no longer a part of a duo, I am now intorduced as Dawn or Miss Dawn, not Dawn and gerry or Gerry's wife Dawn!!!

Have a marvelous Monday!!! I am on my way to sign the papers to buy my house!!!

Dawn <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Dawn - Congratulations on your house !!! Good for you - it is a wonderful feeling - owning the home on your own - I own mine - I just have a little buy out to give my ex - in 8 years - so I am not worried about it... It can be overwhelming but then again - being a single mom can be also - I will try the mind over matter thing??? It definately ticks me off that - he can have such control over me - and it is the last thing I want - I didn't want this - but this is what I have been dealt and I have to deal with it - and I am --- And thank you Miss Dawn - for helping me - I wish you great luck with your home... Thanks again....