Im divorcing H... He and i moved to 'paradise' and now im deciding whether to stay in this new area or return home a 1000 miles away. I know that the advise is to be around family and friends but what if you don't see them much and nothing seems to inspire you there? I know i may be somewhat jaded right now and that my happier attitudes will come back.... (as they are ready are in waves) but im needing to make a decision.

Hi...could you post more of your sitch?

Hyper,

If you and your h are divorcing, and you feel comfortable living in the city or town your in away from your family, there is nothing wrong with staying there--nothing says you have to live in the same town or city as your family..

If you are working and can support yourself where you are...why move??

Do you have a friendship base where you are? They can be just as if not more so supportive then blood family..

Hyper, how odd that you post this! My H and I moved to paradise a little more than two years ago. (for us, a 5000 mile move)

Our D should be final at the end of this month. I, too, struggle with the need to redesign my life as a single person, and figure out where to live. Our plan had never been to stay here-- it's too remote, too expensive. But, I don't want to rush a decision. Our old home was sold, and while we lived there 15 years, friends and support system were mostly related to my job there, and folks who shared our hobby/interest.
I'm not sure it's realistic to go back there. I only have two family members with whom I am close, and both live in different parts of the country-- neither in a place I'd want to live.

For now, I negotiated to stay in our home in paradise for up to 9 months-- to give me time to figure out what to do. I have to cover all the expenses, but at least it buys me time to decide.

So it seems that we are facing similar situations! I don't know how to figure it out, but I knew that I needed time to make a good decision. Maybe you do too.

I think you need to be where you can keep yourself stable and if thats where you are away from everyone then you might need that..
or if you are safe where you are.

do you have the support you need now to make a life for yourself?
what is it you want in life? what is it that makes you happy? have you reached your destination in life where things are good for you if you stay there? CAN you live comfortably and be safe?

it's going to be a big decision but you can always change your mind later.if it don't work you can always move..but don't go backwards..move foward..God bless you..remember He will be there with you no matter where you are at..Keep on keeping on!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

It is a big decision. Thanks for the input! I thought it is kinda neat to hear of another's experience with being in paradise. I too, do not want to go back. I do have a family member and a couple of dear, long time friends there... I also know that family and friends are really important at the rebuilding stage after divorce. I did move from the island 'Paradise' to check out a program which would give me emotional, and practical support for up to two years. Its a little closer to 'home' but still beautiful and captivating although small and limited. In theory, the program sounds good but in reality it is limited in what it has to offer me simply because of its setting. I will need to make things happen for myself through engaging the community. Classes, volunteer, church, recreational activities... and of course councelling and work. The place im at now has very little to offer in the avenues mentioned above. I guess i keep coming back to the reality of needing to be in a bigger city. Yet, i don't want to go back to where we originally moved from. So as it is now, i think i will go back to my little paradise, if to do nothing else than collect my things and take a month to ponder my possibilities. I am praying everyday for direction as to where to be. I know that i need to 'time' to discover this ... I am afraid of committing to being somewhere too soon. I know that i can get fantasy thinking going.... so i made a practical decision; left 'paradise' and checked out this two-year program. I want so to act in my best interest... and realize that i times i need to protect me from me.... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Embarrassed]" src="images/icons/blush.gif" />

Sometimes a change of scenery is nice. As much as I love my family, I sometimes wonder if they would smother me with wondering if I'm ok.