hi..i'm broken hearted =*( Went through a bad breakup with my live-in boyfriend. We've lived together for about 8 months and known eachother for 2 years. I don't know what happened. He just started to change. He stopped spending quality time with me. He's a health freak..so he eats healthy and worksout almost everyday. If I put a piece of chocolate in my mouth he would shake his head. He used to tell me I was so beautiful but once we lived together he made me feel so ugly. He constantly criticized my hairstyle, clothes, what food I ate, etc etc. I love to bake, and I love chocolate too. One time I had bought a cake baking set so I could bake a cake and surprise him with it. Instead of him coming home to a smile that I had baked a cake, he gets upset as to why I would make such junk. He really hurt my feelings. There was this diary I would write in whenever things went bad between us and one day he read it, which was fine by me because finally he got to read what I've been going through and feeling, but when I ask him about what he thought about my feelings in the diary, he says "It's all not true." Also he would go out with his friends till the wee hours and he wouldn't give me a call or nothing while I'm at home worried sick to the point where I need to take sleeping pills to help me sleep. And when he finally does come home, he acts as if nothing's happened and gets upset because I'm upset. I had no friends and had no family where we lived but he did. But instead of him spending time with me, he would rather spend it with them...and would tell me "I'm sorry that you don't have friends but I do." I can also tell that he is very much influenced by his mother's thinking because he is so very materialistic. One day his mother came up to me and gave me this lecture saying "a woman must look beautiful for her man because if she doesn't, he will look at other women." Now what is your oppinion about that? I'm a very simple girl...I'm very casual and not at all high maintenance as they would call it. He is very much into brand name clothing and material things while I'm into the small things in life. One day we were out at the movie theatres and he commented on this couple in front of us, he said "look at that girl, she is dressed all bummy while her man is dressed up nice." I couldn't believe what he said. He broke it off with me a couple of months ago because he said he couldn't take it anymore. I don't know what he's talking about and would like some advice. I am so very broken hearted because I loved this man so much. I thought he was the one. But I don't know what happened. I don't know what I did wrong. Please give me some advice or suggestions. thankyou. <BR>

I sympathize with your problem and feel you deserve better<P>Look, girl<P>Take control here<P>You are with him and his number one<P>Try to spend much more time with him<P>Tell him you will go shopping together<P>And cook together<P>Even let him pick an outfit for you<BR>and earrings<P>So he can be more involved<P>Let him choose a CD or Video for the evening<BR>and let him pick a night out for the two of <BR>you alone<P>Keep his mom out of your life as much as possible<BR>and do not ask her advice<P>Who cares what she thinks anyway<P>If she cannot influence your life in a nice<BR>and positive way then you don't need her and<BR>keep as little contact with her as possible<P>Don't fall in the trap of sitting in her <BR>company for too long<P>Rather pay as little attention to what he<BR>says about her and do not give him a comment<BR>on what she says or does<P>Try not to answer him too much about his<BR>friends <P>Sometimes men see them as an army to turn to<BR>for advice and you don't want that so do not<BR>comment on them<P>Just close your eyes to them and focus on<BR>you and him and try to build a future for<BR>you two<P>Consider marriage because it is a more<BR>secure future for both of you<P>And read <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com" TARGET=_blank>www.marriagebuilders.com</A> <BR>and <A HREF="http://www.prayertoweronline.org" TARGET=_blank>www.prayertoweronline.org</A> <P>Try to live your life right<P>Then God will bless you<P>Good luck<P>Carol<BR>kidnpuppetshow@yahoo.com

hrbroken,<P>Without a long and lengthy discussion about this, I, on the otherhand, disagree with Carol. From what you have said, it seems to as though he is very self centered, and strongly concerned with how others judge him and those around him. He doesn't want a girlfriend or wife. He wants property, and you are NOT property. If can not be please by who you are, then that is his problem. Don't let him or his mother "rent space in your head". It is not worth it. By the way, this is NOT the 1940's. You shouldn't have to be dressed prim and proper, curtsying as he enters the door, serving him his dinner. What will he want the next time you go to the movies, walk a half step behind him. Ask yourself the same questions you posed in your posting. Why does he want me to look a certain way, why does he disapprove of the things I like, why is his life more important than the two of us. When you can answer these questions, you might have a better understanding of what is really going on.....

Hi, take a look at my post under your other post.<BR>RUN run run !!!!!!!!!!!!<BR>this guy wants to control you like a dog. you are not a trained animal. Please get out while you can.<BR>Carolq