Now What,
Are you going to make me be consistent? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> ARRRG!
Actually, my reference to Please Help's post was to show that there is hope even AFTER divorce. You may not realize that Please Help's W left him for OM, married OM, and then eventually divorced OM and came back to Please Help. This was NOT a situation of the standard Plan A, Plan B. But, it does show that even some of the most amazing transformations can happen.
In your case, you have essentially done Plan A and your W is still seeing OM. Further, she is confused as which to go to. So, while it might seem counter intuitive to you, going to plan B IS THE THING TO DO. Why? Because it forces OM to meet ALL of her needs if he can and she is happy she will chose him. However, he cannot be ALL THAT or she wouldn't be on the fence. Further, she is on the fence because you are meeting some of her needs.
So going to plan B is the way to go. It preserves your love for her (the MAIN reason), thus making it likely you can endure recovery. You have been hearing from MortarMan, but do you realize what it took and is taking to make recovery work?? Just because a WS lets go of OP, doesn't mean the marriage is going to make it.
So you need to have a pretty strong love remaining IF she decides to give you chance, because recovery is really tough. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> None of this stuff is for wimps. It is really hard, and you really have to have your head screwed on straight, and your heart filled with love, not "well maybe it will work, if I don't decide to toss it over board.".
Hence Plan B is the way for you to go. I hope this helps. I think if you go back to the archives you can find many of Please Help's posts. It was a long and arduous trek for him.
God Bless,
JL
