Well, W had her day in court..Very tough on me emotionally and physically...Getting ready this am I was over-run w/ memeories and thoughts and try to imagine how and why we got to this point... Anyway, the whole building and process and legaleze is more than any reasonable person expects....21 years of dreams and accomplishments dismantled in this sterile institution....Saw my W with her Attny and MIL....Did not want to speak due to NC...Very tough ...I am sitting 15 feet from the mother of my children whom I cut the very cord of life and I have to act like she is a complete stranger....I finally did make eye contact w/ her..We looked at each other intently..I would say me w/ sad eyes, her with sternness..Her attny was not happy because I would not back down....In fact, he said loud enough for me to hear.."OK, the gloves are off"....very unprofessional..but that is what he is paid to do I guess....My W became frantic as she saw what was to occur....I felt awful, but for the first time in 9 months, I stood strong and respected myself....3 times they came to me to let her back into the house and remove the NC...I let my no be no...her attny filed for continuance..I must now go through this again Aug. 11th...Sad reality...Not sure where W is staying, but I can not worry for that as I have 3 children and my own sanity...I expect a long drawn out battle, but I also know her attny does not know the whole story of how or why we got to this point...He is about to be enlightened....I do not want to hurt her, but I also do not want to fund her infidelity nor roll over any longer...Sorry If this post seems aggressive, but after 9 months of sheer hell and seeing what it is doing to my kids as well as me, her attny is right.."the gloves are off".....

Ohh.... this is not good. I hate to see this, all the cruel words, the dishonesty. This is not what God wants, and this is not what you want.

I know this is going to be hard. Why does marriage have to end up this way. Why does the hurt and pain have to continue. Why does this marriage have to divorce. Another divorce, so sad, so sad.

If you have to be cruel, and reveal all the ugliness, then I guess that is what is going to happen. Is there a way that it doesn't have to get to this part? Is there a way that the two of you could talk with a mediator, and discusss things in private.

If I could do things differently, I was influnece by my lawyers, and yes they did not think of me. So far I don't see where the divorce I was thought of respectfully by anyone. So I would of not gotten a lawyer. I would of gotten a speaker for me, and set the rules, like a mediator. I would of been my own lawyer. That way, I could of set things the way I wanted, and used like a mediator for lawyer rules.

Really think about what you are saying, and if this is really what you want to do. I would counsel with your church leader about this. Maybe there would be a better way. I don't know, but this doesn't seem to be the right thing to do. Just my opinion.

Faith for me...Thank you..There was anger in my post...Anger over what has been done and what I have done to recover and save our family...My W attny is brash and yes, attny will push you in a direction against your values..Sadly, my W filed and has asked for everything w/ no mention of how or why we got here...I would be open to a mediator, but she is being influenced as well by a poor role model...Her mother...she did the same exact thing and left my FIL in poverty...My W feels that irrespective of what she did and continues to do and refuses to reconcile, she is entitled for having been my W for 21 yrs...I agree to a point...What ever is rightfully hers and legal, but I do not intend to fund or reward her infidelity...Perhaps this is a wrong attitude, but anything I give her as her selfish requests is resources cheated from the family unit...Her callous request in the D filing is evident of further disregard for what she has done to me and our family...She is in very deep denial and fogg....I think Dobson says let them go, but let them pay their way as well...I am in christian counseling, I spoke w/ a christian family law attorney as well as several other sources of counsel...sadly, I must protect our interests and may have to expose the ugly side of how and why we got here...not because I necessarily want to, but to not speak the truth would be a further injustice to my own self respect and childrens future....Please, any responses are welcome...after all, one may enlighten me with different thought...I am open to that as well....Thanks..

Well here is the sad latest...Received 2" stack of paper from W attny requesting all types of documents...financials, debts, etc...Then, her attny filed emergency motion to keep me and kids in state of Fla.....What an ugly mess all these papers...Still, no mention of how or why we got to this point....I was making somewhat of a time line of all the events thus far...I went backwards from now till about March....As I look at all this, I am amazed at what I actually put up with.....I was in a fog as well...Do not get me wrong, I did want my marriage and family, but when you hit the point of reality and your love has diminished,your focus is a little clearer and you mentally prepare for a new beginning...Perhaps I am wrong, however,I do not know that there is a right or wrong...Just how I feel and interpret what is occuring...My son (10), his best friend is not allowed to stay the night suddenly...I guess his parents feel this could rub off on them some how....or perhaps they just do not want their son exposed...Whatever the rationall, my son does not understand and is devastated...My W told my oldest son (17) that I could have ended all this yesterday.....Hell....She could have ended it 9 months ago....or any of the other 3 times I tried...I do not want to discourage anyone from trying or moving forward....but it is a lot of work and no guarantees....I dislike the whole downward spiral and as my letter from my attny today stated, it is only going to get tougher...

Well, things have not improved much, but there was an interesting conversation betreen my son , 17 and WW....first some background...WW had filed for emergency motion to force ma and kids to stay in Fla...My son had a LAX tournament in Md and we all as a family had decided to go...In the interim my WW decided she was not part of family and filed D...Asked for all but my soul...Anyway, Me and kids went on Vacation and she began a flurry of motions and letters, etc...My youngest, 10 wanted to stay and visit older brother xtra 4 days...WW had a fit and would not let him...badgered us all...My attny said no problem..so, he stayed...WW went on war path and berated MIL, FIL and has been nasty w/ son and Daughter 13...Threatened her dad and me and hung up on her dad and son...Well, emergency hearing today did not go as she planned...basically judge said no harm no foul, kids are coming back...I just cannot leave state going forward...WW wasted a lot of money and her attny did not produce half of what he indicated...now they are talking mediation and settle...The A has come to light w/ all the details and my attny suggested we would have testimony, etc and facts would be exposed...not something my WW would want...nor necessarily I, but I am in this to win for me and my children...Strangely, my WW asked my son (17) if after all dad, (me) has put her through, should she come back...first of all, She had the A, she perpetuated it and she called the police which resulted in her arrest....I have given 4 opportunities to reconcile even a few days before she hit me w/ D papers...she told my son he had no idea what she was going through...as I look at all this, she had an A (guilt), pregnancy, abortion, I have been in hosp twice, on meds, etc...kids are not happy w/ her, she offended her dad, step mother and oldest son by berating them and then hanging up on them...now the D is not necessarily moving her way and her H, me has not spoken w/ her in over 3 weeks...she has a criminal trial coming up for domestic battery, she is living w/ a friend and just overall, she is losing a whole lot and sliding fast....I guess a part of me hopes she will see the light and come to me...yet I am scared...I would as I do in my heart want that for the greater good of us all..I do love her, but am tired of rolling over and being used....My oldest son had asked her a few days ago to come home to De and be a family...she said NO...I know to listen to nothing she says and half her actions, but this is an interesting change...I just do not want to get my hopes up and get hurt again...I am lonely, scared, angry tired and miss her dearly, all of which I would never share at this point, but this is the truth...I am in a court ordered plan B due to her arrest...it is strangely working for me in that even though I have those feelings I just mention, I must be strong and plan on moving on while being diligent to protect my and my childrens interests...I do beleive in miracles and would have to be one...I would need many concessions and commitment on her part ....well I have rambled on enough....Has anyone else had such an experience with the WW coming to light and saving the family???all comments welcome....