Please give advice. I just found out that my wife is taking a trip to another state to interview for a job. She doesn't know that I know. We've been separated for a couple months and she's in the withdrawal stage--looking to escape. I don't know how to react to this. I love her very much and don't want her to leave. All her family and friends live around here. We've discussed selling the house but this move would seal the deal as far as getting a divorce goes, in my view. What do you all think?

Dear coughlin,
You don't give all the details, but your situation is not good. They say we are either growing closer together or growing farther apart. You need to take serious action if she is doing a job interview out of state. Just guessing, I'd say she sees no hope. But that can change if you will start to honor and value her. But she can't read your mind. If you truly want her back you need to be the man and show her you care about her and the marriage. It's better to have tried and failed than to do nothing. You need to start making big [not phony]deposits into her love bank. She saw something in you once. Discover it and go get your wife back.
singleguy

Coughlin:

I would tell her what you know. Be supportive. Stay in communication if you can. Continue 2 plan A, if that's what you're doing.

Don't know your story. Did she or is she having an affair? There could be all kinds of reasons for her wanting 2 take a job out of state, not all of them bad either.

My W is starting a job out of state this Sunday, even though we're not "recovered" and have no "no contact" agreement regarding her OM. I told her I want her 2 be happy, and this job is a good oppor2nity for her. The good news is that it's full-time for the first 6 weeks, after which she can work from home most of the time.

The best way 2 help them find their way back home, if that's what you want, is 2 let them find out what they want on their own, with your support.

Please take care,
-2long

Thanks for replying 2long and single guy. I'm not sure what she's trying to find out but I don't have any choice I guess but to be supportive. A year and a half ago, I told my wife that I had feelings for somebody else. I never acted on those feelings in terms of anything sexual. I knew I had a problem and we went to counseling. Things seemed to be on track and I discontinued my relationship with that OW. Apparently, she never got over it and had atleast one inappropriate relationship with somebody else soon after. I recently found out about that and moved out after treating her very poorly because I was angry. After about a month of living apart, I wanted to get back together with her. She didn't. She blames me for her distance and not wanting to work on us. The thing is that I realize what went wrong with us through counseling and know that I can be a better husband because I'm a better person, but she is making plans to move and find a job far away. I want to show her that I can be all that she needs but it might be too late. I can only hope that she remembers the good times we had and that it is enough to make her want to stay.