Hello.
I have been married for 8 years. In that time my wife has moved out 3 times, anywhere from 6 months to 2 years at a time. Each time it was because she was not happy and wanted to find herself. This last time we lived together for a year and decided to buy a house together. I assumed that things were looking up becuse we're making a serious committment together here. Well, it's been 6 months now in our new home and I am miserable. My wife has always had intimacy issues in that she is uncomfortable sharing her thoughts and feelings with me and isn't very touchy-feely. I on the other hand have no problem showing my wife affection. Needless to say our sex life is rare to none.I thought this new step in our lives would lead her to open up but things are the same as they've always been. We're having a big talk this weekend, where I am going to propose counseling....again. The last time I brought it up she refused saying "I don't want strangers knowing my business". This doesn't give me much hope for a resolution, I'm hoping that she's grown a bit since the last time I suggested counseling, but if not...I only see divorce in the near future. How can I stay married to someone that doesn't want to resolve issues? Any thoughts?

<small>[ August 05, 2003, 01:58 PM: Message edited by: Giant Squid ]</small>

"How can I stay married to someone that doesn't want to resolve issues?"

The answer is pretty obvious. You can't rebuild a marriage by yourself unless the other person commits and works toward resolving the problems within the marriage. There is a saying that applies to your situation "You can drag a horse to water but you can't make him drink". My advice is to acept that your marriage is over and move on.

Have you tried posting this over at the Emotional Needs board? They would probably be a big help on this. I would say that you should try the Marriage Builders plans (Plan A) with your wife in hopes that it would work for the 2 of you. In addition, individual counseling or counseling with the Harley team seems to work great for some boardies.
Someone will come along with more information on Plan A/Plan B I'm sure. Plan A wasn't something that could be applied in my case, but I think that your situation is ideal for it probably! Read the site for lots of great ideas on saving your marriage. Don't give up yet on it.. there is so much that can be done if someone is willing to work hard on it!