I am wondering how long this process will endure. I fluctuate from being anxious to have it end rapidly to wanting it to take it's time (to avoid confrontation, fighting and fears).

My H filed in early June.. but I still haven't been officially served (because my atty hasn't officially signed yet for the papers). So even the initial phase is taking forever it seems. (sometimes that is a good thing though... I am not anxious for STBX to see the list of complaints that I am counterfiling against him.. he isn't going to be a happy camper!)

This would all be more bearable if I had my family and friends in this state. They are so far away that it is hard to talk with them on the phone... I would prefer to have even one of them nearer me. I feel like I am just so alone in all of this. My H has his friends and family backing him up and visiting with him periodically, which makes me feel even more alone in this. I am so sorry that I ever agreed to move somewhere that I didn't know anyone.. It was a critical error on my part! And now, even though I want to move back to my home state, I might get stuck living here for more years due to my kids' school choices. HUGE mistake ever agreeing to move here. **SIGH**

I have been spending most of my time avoiding thinking about what is going to be happening in the next months... I really have to get myself focused here!! Any ideas for me on how to get more focused so that I can think clearly on all these issues?? I have to get out of the avoidance stage!

I highly suggest you find a divorce support group in your area. You need emotional support and you will find great advice in a group.
I also suggest www.rainbows.org for the kids. Find a location in your area.

I was blessed to have found a support group early on, and found some great friends in this group. Without them, I would not be the person I am now.
Also, get books from the library to help you understand the process, and the grief.

Lucy, you responded on my thread. I too thought things were dragging along.
Were it not for the many resources I found, I would have been an emotional mess.
In the first year, I relied on an individual counselor, the support group, multiple long telephone conversations with friends who live far away, and many self help and relationship books and tapes (for those times I couldn't concentrate on reading).

All of these have helped me to understand that I did make the right decision, and I am at peace with it. Please try some of these resources, visit your local library. One thing I read early on was "don't burn out your friends & family". They will tire of hearing you. You need people to listen who understand where you are.
My best friend was invaluable throughout the process - only by phone. She is active in Al-anon and was able to convey some of those concepts into our discussions. I am still amazed at all I've learned from her, and happy that she is still a part of our lives )that I didn't burn her out).

One time, our stories have similar themes...My M 21 years, WW, in deep denial, anger etc...had A w/ my BF, pregnant, abortion, 4 false recoveries...etc...3 children devastated she got herself arrested in jail 24 hrs, and now a nasty divirce...all of which she blames me for...However, I read, MC, this site, Plan A, Plan B, on and on...We are in Fla. my friends and family are in De...I feel like a fish out of water myself....no support other than this site and my church....I am involved w/ Divorcecare and MC and family counseling w/ my kids....it is tough, my WW would not participate in anything...My W filed 7/24 because in her words, she saw that as a sure sign to end the M, while I said it was a sign to reconcile and stop this crazy journey....(how much lower must we go )...well she filed and a part of me wants it over yesterday and a part is still hopeful...miracles do happen...I wear her wedding ring on my cross around my neck....perhaps I am crazy but know I did all I could....Onetime, keep the chin up and one day you will be goodtime as opposed to one time....God Bless.....