I am back in a slump, Ok maybe I never made itall the way out. I have been D since March and can't get over the ex. I was deployed for 2 months and dated a girls while gone. I was still on the roller coaster with the ex, but happy for the most part. Now that I am back in town I see her all the time when I drop off the kids or pick something up from the house.
The thing is I think about what she did (with 3 different guys that I know about) and I get filled with anger and hate! But then I see her and the feelings come back and I can't hate her. She has been really depressed and I have tried to be there for her to talk to. Now here is the kicker, she recently broke up with her BF and has been really down. She has talked to me about it telling me that sher thinks she loved him, and why everyone leave her. I have always felt that we could get back together and rebuild. Before he broke up with her she always called just for simple things or say she forgot why she called. But I can't do it anymore! I can't listen to her but I can't move on til I am past her. I am caught in a rip tide and it is draging me deeper and deeper down.
I had been dating a girl that is really cool and we seem to have so much in common. But I think I got scared and started to back away. Today we chatted and ended up in a fight. Not bad, I just don't know whatI want and can't seem to find my way out.
Can you rebuild the trust after you divorce? Is it worth the effort or am I just letting others pass me by. My ex is truley lost and has no idea what she is doing or wants, but should I be concerned about that or just move on?
Anyway... this sucks!
CD

City,

Time does heal wounds. I wish it was easy to get over an X but I'd be lying if I said that is was. My x and I have been divorced for 3 years but he left almost 6 yrs ago.
There are days that I would miss him so bad I would ache, it does get better and it doesn't happen as frequently.

I am remarried and this man I have now is everything I wished my X would've been and more. I have to remind myself that my H isn't my X and not feel that my H will hurt my like X did.

Give yourself some time to heal.

Blessing to you

If there is any chance that you and your wife can reunite, I would encourage you to do whatever possible to make that happen. That is clearly the best course of action for the children's welfare, which of course is what is paramount, and it is likely best for the adults as well.

If you truly love your spouse, you never really "get over" it. Love is permanent.

I agree with Nellie. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Nellie1:
<strong>If there is any chance that you and your wife can reunite, I would encourage you to do whatever possible to make that happen. That is clearly the best course of action for the children's welfare, which of course is what is paramount, and it is likely best for the adults as well.

If you truly love your spouse, you never really "get over" it. Love is permanent.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I think it depends........his EX did sleep with 3 people close to him. Also, sometimes staying in a bad marriage can be worse for the kids. Was there any fighting in front of the kids? Was there name calling and turning over furniture? If not, then it may be better to unite, otherwise I would really think about things. You dont wanna make the same mistake twice.

Hi CD,
Long time no see.

Now you know why Dr Harley recommends letting a year go by.

It's the pits. You can't stand to be alone, and you can't have a normal relationship until you get over the X.

I wish I had more help for you. Still pray for you.

Tell us more about your feelings. Do you still have hope with X, and if so why?

SS