I can take it no more I want to stop hurting: <BR> <BR>The attack of satan is so strong, I was sitting here at my desk at work and recieved a phone call and the phone call went like this. Why did'nt you tell me that your ex-husband and his new wife has a new house? I told her I did'nt no and at that point all of what I was standing, praying, trusting and believing left. Just 2 weeks ago, My ex-husband called me and asked me to have dinner with him and bring the baby. And I agreed. We had a very good conversation and his conversation went like this. I want to apolize for what has happened in the past and for hurting you. ( Remmeber (in one of my post topics What do I need to do to get my husband back. I told you that he married a women whom I have known for sometime, that was married for 15 years and she divorced her husband and married my husband). Then he went on to say that he could not change what he has done but asked that I forgive him and we move on. He wanted to become parents together to raise our (my)daughter together. He went own to say that he felt that he did not try to save his marriage but he went own and did what was best for him. He said that he still love me and cared for me and was willing to do anything for me and the baby.But he also said that he could not leave his wife because he could not hurt her this would be wrong for him to do. He said he is willing to do what ever to make sure that me and my child would notwant for anything. (No he is not paying any child support nor is his spending time with my child).<P>I told him that I do forgive him because this is right in the Lord. The hurt and pain that I have been through I am still trying to heal from that. He asked could he take the baby with him on the weekends? I told him that I still could not allow that to happen, because your wife that call me and told me that she was not involved with you, has be traded my trust for her. It has nothing to do with you , but I just cannot have her around my daughter because she hurt me and destroyed my family. He said that was personal between me and her. He agreed to what I said about having my daughter around his wife, I told him that he could always come and get her anspend time with her as much as he wants, but if I found out that he had my child around his wife, then and only then he would not see her again. He asked me why was I so mean towards her. I told him if the shoe had been on the other foot and did that to her she would feel the same pain that I did and still feeling. But you would not understand, because you said you did what was best for you. And that meant leaving your wife and your family to be with someone elses wife. After making that statement he said that he was praying for me. The sad thing and I can not get pass is that my ex-husband professes to be a called man of God (he is a minister), how can he stand before God's people and preach and teach on marriage, family, etc., And do not fear God. Oh! yes they lived together before they got married, matter of fact they were together the hold time I was pregnant and not once did he support me.<BR> <BR>I have tried, cried, prayed, beg, and did everything I feel that I could humanly possible to get through this and believe that God will answer my prayers. It is not about them getting a house it is not even them being married anymore, it is the fact that he woke up one morining and decided he did not want a marriage are a family and it hurts to no you went out 4 months later and married again, but the sad thing is he does not even care of enough to even try to have a realtionship with his child. But make sure that he r children have everything, and these kids father still see and spend time with them. <P>Right now I am feeling real bad in my spirit. <BR> <BR>I do not no what to say, do, think, are believe anymore. I wish this hurt and pain would just go away. I do not want to feel like this anymore, I want to be happy. Her ex-husband is getting married August 11, 2001 and my ex-husband would have been married for 1 year this year 11/01. <BR> <BR>It is hurting so bad, my heart,my mind and my spirit. <BR>I just neede to share this with someone so I would not have to keep it in. <P><BR> I have prayed to many prayers, I have asked the Lord to change me, I cried to many tears, but yet I can't let this man go. Not because I have a child with him, but because I made a vow, I said the words, I gave the pledge, I gave a ring, I took a ring, I gave myself, I trusted GOD, and said the words, and meant the words... in sickness and in health, in sorrow and in joy, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in good times and in bad.<P>But I just can't not stop HURTING. WIll I ever have happiness again.<P>Please pray a special prayer for me that I might grow stronger in Gods word as well as in faith.<P>Thank you for listening.<BR>

Sounds to me like your ex wants to have his cake and eat it, too. I can understand your hurt and pain and I admire you for your continued trust in our Lord and Savior. He never gives us more than we can bear (but, don't you just wish he didn't have so much confidence in us )<P>As for your ex and seeing your daughter, he has no say and no rights in this situation due to the fact that he is not supporting you or your child financially. If he truly wanted to make a difference, financial support would have been offered from the beginning. <P>I'm all for forgiveness, whether he's repentent or not, but if he's not willing to support both of you he has no business making requests or demands on you in regard to having contact with his child.<P>I hope all these things work out for you.

First and foremost, if your ex really "is willing to do what ever" to make sure you and your daughter's needs are met, he must support her financially. There is no acceptable reason for him not supporting her. <P>Being the daughter of divorced parents, I believe your daughter has the right to a relationship with her father. You mentioned he did want to spend time with her, but you cannot allow it if she is around his wife. You must find it in your heart to forgive her and accept she is part of your ex's life now. The one who I fear is most likely to get hurt is your daughter. Please pray on that. <P>Please read Ephesians 4:31-32. My prayers are with you and your daughter.

i understand you frustration, i cannot say i can feel the way you feel but i can relate. in times like these we are hurting inside it feels like the pain will never go away. But as long as there is a God in heaven he will change things for you. Weeping may endure for a night but joy comes in the morning, and believe me honey your joy is coming. just know that God cares for you he feels the same way you feel and he does not want you to hurt like this. he wants to heal you completely, just trust him and turn it over to God.<BR>it sounds like you still really love your ex-husband very deeply. he has gone on with his life and so should you. you are a child of God and if it's God's will he will send that special someone into your life. dont waste a lot of time in the past, trust God to bring you out of this once and for all and he will/e mail me sometimes. God Bless You.

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by peanut27:<BR><B>i understand you frustration, i cannot say i can feel the way you feel but i can relate. in times like these we are hurting inside it feels like the pain will never go away. But as long as there is a God in heaven he will change things for you. Weeping may endure for a night but joy comes in the morning, and believe me honey your joy is coming. just know that God cares for you he feels the same way you feel and he does not want you to hurt like this. he wants to heal you completely, just trust him and turn it over to God.<BR>it sounds like you still really love your ex-husband very deeply. he has gone on with his life and so should you. you are a child of God and if it's God's will he will send that special someone into your life. dont waste a lot of time in the past, trust God to bring you out of this once and for all and he will/e mail me sometimes. God Bless You.</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P> I really do still love my ex-husband not becuse we have a child together but, because I am in love with him. I have read and prayed and asked God to answers my prayers and saw that in the word of God that God does not honor divorce. My husband left for no reason other than thinking that the grass was greener on the other side. <P>I saw him this weekend without our child. I thought he was calling to see his child but he said he wanted to see me. We went out and we had a good conversation and the conversation went like this. He said that he has alot of things going on and that he was tired and there was no peace in his life. I told him that he would not find that peace that he needs to be free from whatever it is that is hindering him. I told him also that I am praying for you as well as your ministry and I will add that to my prayer when I pray. He said that he still loved me and cared a great deal about me. And that what we do is our business and he asked that I keep whatever we do to myself. he also said that he wanted to call my brother just to talk but he no that he has ill feelings toward him as well as my family. I told him that I never ever once heard my family members say that the hate him or dislike him are wish I never met him. The only thing that has been said is that they hated they way you did your wife and child. How you just abandon us. As time has gone bye, my mother said as well as my family, they have forgiven and moved on but they have always wanted me and you to be together. He did have much to say on that. Then he went on to say that his wife really,really, really, loves him and she is not going no where. Out of the conversation we were having I never once heard him say that he loved his wife. And what's so funny is at that moment I begin praying and asking God to touch my husband mind and heart and forgive him for his sins. Then he went on to say that he can not be in a marrige that he is not happy in and if he is not happy he moves on and don't look back. Then he went on to say that he does not no what the further holds but right now he is looking for us to be freinds and see what the further holds. I told him right now I would like that, but the fact still remains that my child will not be around your wife. <P>It's like this if the wife is married to now I did not no when they first I might have been okay with him taking my child around her. But since I do no this person(wife) and what she did to me then I just can't get pass it. This women destroyed my family and I will not let her be apart of my childs life. It is enough I will probably have to explaine to my daughter why her father was not are did not want to be apart of her life. Irefuse to have to deal with this women.<P>I made it back home about 1:30am in the morning. He told me that he wish I would not put strings on him are label him as a boyfriend,lover,etc... lets just be freinds. I told him that is okay. I said to myself that I am praying that you would find whatever is you are looking for, because right now I really feel he really don't no what he looking for. If he was to call me right now and ask to come back I would take him back. Am I stupid?<P>

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by peanut27:<BR><B>i understand you frustration, i cannot say i can feel the way you feel but i can relate. in times like these we are hurting inside it feels like the pain will never go away. But as long as there is a God in heaven he will change things for you. Weeping may endure for a night but joy comes in the morning, and believe me honey your joy is coming. just know that God cares for you he feels the same way you feel and he does not want you to hurt like this. he wants to heal you completely, just trust him and turn it over to God.<BR>it sounds like you still really love your ex-husband very deeply. he has gone on with his life and so should you. you are a child of God and if it's God's will he will send that special someone into your life. dont waste a lot of time in the past, trust God to bring you out of this once and for all and he will/e mail me sometimes. God Bless You.</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>I saw him this weekend without our child. I thought he was calling to see his child but he said he wanted to see me. We went out and we had a good conversation and the conversation went like this. He said that he has alot of things going on and that he was tired and there was no peace in his life. I told him that he would not find that peace that he needs to be free from whatever it is that is hindering him. I told him also that I am praying for you as well as your ministry and I will add that to my prayer when I pray. He said that he still loved me and cared a great deal about me. And that what we do is our business and he asked that I keep whatever we do to myself. he also said that he wanted to call my brother just to talk but he no that he has ill feelings toward him as well as my family. I told him that I never ever once heard my family members say that the hate him or dislike him are wish I never met him. The only thing that has been said is that they hated they way you did your wife and child. How you just abandon us. As time has gone bye, my mother said as well as my family, they have forgiven and moved on but they have always wanted me and you to be together. He did have much to say on that. Then he went on to say that his wife really,really, really, loves him and she is not going no where. Out of the conversation we were having I never once heard him say that he loved his wife. And what's so funny is at that moment I begin praying and asking God to touch my husband mind and heart and forgive him for his sins. Then he went on to say that he can not be in a marrige that he is not happy in and if he is not happy he moves on and don't look back. Then he went on to say that he does not no what the further holds but right now he is looking for us to be freinds and see what the further holds. I told him right now I would like that, but the fact still remains that my child will not be around your wife. <P>It's like this if the wife is married to now I did not no when they first I might have been okay with him taking my child around her. But since I do no this person(wife) and what she did to me then I just can't get pass it. This women destroyed my family and I will not let her be apart of my childs life. It is enough I will probably have to explaine to my daughter why her father was not are did not want to be apart of her life. Irefuse to have to deal with this women.<P>I made it back home about 1:30am in the morning. He told me that he wish I would not put strings on him are label him as a boyfriend,lover,etc... lets just be freinds. I told him that is okay. I said to myself that I am praying that you would find whatever is you are looking for, because right now I really feel he really don't no what he looking for. If he was to call me right now and ask to come back I would take him back. Am I stupid?<P><BR>