Well, I talked to my WH today and found out that he has given up his apartment in our town and has moved in with the OW (an hour away). He is looking for a job in the other town too. I am planning on divorcing him (filing next month) and wouldn’t want to reconcile at this point any way. So, why does this hurt so much? Just need a shoulder to cry on at this point.

Hi Dueinjan,
I was thinking about you yesterday and wondered how you were. I'm so sorry to hear about you WH. I know how you feel, my WH has been living with the OW for 2 months now. But when I found out I just kind of expected it and didn't seem to suprised about it. I did hurt though. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

It really sucks! I know exactly how you're feeling. Just remember, don't believe everything you hear or see. Even though you're not wanting to reconcile, don't believe for one minute that his relationship with the OW is WONDERFUL. Their relationship was all based on lies and their world will crumble sooner or later.

Gosh Dueinjan, I hate this just as much as you. I know the hurt too. I'm so sorry. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

Hi STBX.

It's good to hear from you. I check every once in a while to see if you've left any news.

Yeah, I wasn't surprised that he moved in with her. In fact, I'm almost surprised that he waited this long. Now, I've got to figure out what I'm going to do about the kids. He has them every other weekend and Wednesday nights. I think it's ridiculous that my 3 yo and 7 mth. old will now have to make an hour trip each way to spend the night at OWs house Wednesday nights/Thursday mornings. It's bad enough that they are there on the weekends.

I communicated with OW's H today via email. He is filing divorce with fault charges of adultery against OW because she's being unreasonable with the property settlement. Can't imagine that co-habitation with my WH is going to help her case too much. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I'm ok though. Moving on. It's just days like this that test my soul. (The unrelenting rain doesn't help).

P.S. I went out again with that guy. It was a nice date but didn't really connect with him this time.

Dueinjan,
One quick question. You said you were ready to file for divorce after the year passed.

Well this month would be a year, right?

Why are you waiting till next month to file? Just a question.

<small>[ August 07, 2003, 01:31 PM: Message edited by: STBXWife ]</small>

The affair started and was discovered in August but WH didn't move out of our house until September. In VA you have to be seperated a year before you can file for divorce if you have kids and the date of separation isn't until September. I called my atty to get the paperwork started but she said there's really nothing to do until Sept. when we serve WH with the papers.

I'm not having second thoughts about the divorce at this point. I don't know what the future holds for the two of us and our kids but I need to put an end to this particular marriage. I still have a lot of feelings for my husband but this marriage is over/done/dead. I'm ready to face the uncertain future.

I am sorry he has done that....Makes things so much tougher, especially with kids involved.

My ex also did that...he has been living with her for almost a 1 1/2 years. The kids hate it. Now that he wants them to establish a relationship with her--they don't want to. But, my kids are older too.

I don't know why they can't wait until they have settled issues in their first marriage. I think part of it is the FOG they are in and partly they need a safety net where someone is telling them that what they are doing is ok--they are still great...Just my two cents...

I do know the pain tho...and it hurts incredibly bad. You will be in my prayers...Pat

What do you think your husband will do when he gets served? Does he know that you are and want to file for divorce? What does he say about all of this? Does he ever tell you that he's gonna file himself?

What do you think your husband will do when he gets served?

Be sad and say, "this is never what I wanted." And, I think this is probably true. He never wanted to be divorced but he never wanted to give up his girlfriend either. He will probably sign without any arguements unless I try to limit time with the kids. He might try to pull one of those court room stunts.

Does he know that you are and want to file for divorce?
I told him in May/June timeframe that I was planning on filing for divorce at the end of the year od separation (Sept) unless something was to drastically change. He said, "what do you mean by 'drastically change'?" And I said, for starters you'd have to give up OW.

What does he say about all of this?

We don't talk about it. (Plan B and all <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> )

Does he ever tell you that he's gonna file himself?

Never. I don't think he ever would unless OW was putting the screws to him. He's extremely passive in matters of law, paperwork, financial issues, etc.