My brother's marriage of over 12 years is ending in divorce. They dated for a long time before they got married, so they've been together for much longer. But not happily.

Three kids. Drugs, alcohol, unemployment, (more than likely) adultery, abuse, anger, poverty. Need I go on? How can you build on a foundation like that ...

Please lift up their kids this evening. And the parents too. This may be the straw that breaks my brother. You can't help a person who doesn't want it, so all his family can do is watch him fall ...

How sad,

I am sorry to hear of another divorce situation. Our generation is really making huge mistakes. I really don't think divorce is the answer.

The kids and your brother will be in my prayers. Pat

I have learned a little more. My sister-in-law's family is helping her financially, getting housing lined up, etc. She is doing what she needs to do in the way of support, getting Medicaid for the kids, food stamps, etc.

All of this is being done secretly. She is very afraid of what my brother might do when he finds out she is leaving. Somehow the kids found out and told their cousins, which is how my sister found out. Before long it's going to slip. I hope my sister-in-law is in a safe place when my brother finds out. He is controlling, angry, depressed, has been abusive, and is deep in the fog of drugs and alcohol. He's unemployed so any money that comes along, 'family' money or otherwise, disappears quickly.

I have dropped off bags of groceries in the past, but I can't do much else. My brother and I had a blowout a few months ago, over him letting the family farm go to hell and some other things, and we haven't spoken much to each other since.

He will be the last to know. Something will happen; either a miracle or something very, very bad.

That is very sad...the whole situation. Prayers to your family

He does know now. I guess it could have gone worse... they seem to be pretty much avoiding each other as she finishes packing her things. I think she is moving out this week. She said she isn't looking to get any of his property or even child support. Just wants her and the kids out of there. Since he's been unemployed & no insurance she's been off the anti-depressants she's been on for years, and decided 'no more'.

Westley and I talked to my brother a bit last week. He told me he is (was then) on Day 2 of a 12-step program, depressed and 'bored'. Something else about being really down. I gave him a hug and told him not to get TOO far down. First hug since our blowup. He seemed grateful for it. We still have a long way toward fixing our relationship; I really tore into him when I vented 10 years of frustrations.

Not much else I can do. I'm the youngest of five kids and all but one are divorced/-ing. The two that have been divorced the longest (about 8 and 10 years) are still single and from what I gather, not looking. I sometimes fear I'm doomed to be alone and that I'll screw up the good thing I've got.